GayDeceiver

GayDeceiver, 9 days ago to HashtagGames

“Earth Girls Are Easy” by Sarek

#FictionalCharactersAutobiography
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GayDeceiver, 9 days ago to HashtagGames

“Chasing Worms: My Life As an Emperor” by Paul Atreides

#FictionalCharactersAutobiography
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GayDeceiver, 9 days ago to HashtagGames

“The Universe Revolves around Me and I Have Scientific Proof” by Sheldon Cooper

#FictionalCharactersAutobiography
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the_etrain, 10 days ago to random

Hooked the doorknob on my office door to an electric fence power unit. Let's see how quickly people are able to learn when pain is the teacher.

GayDeceiver, 10 days ago to random

One more time, for the people in the back:

Having fame and fortune does not make you a good person.

If someone rails against the gays, specially if they’re males, their closet is sequined, and full of glitter and feather boas.

That KC kicker stirred the hornets nest with that speech. His “private” life and “past sins” are about to come to the forefront.

Gird your loins. It’s gonna get ugly.

GayDeceiver, 10 days ago to random

To end the day, I got this hoodie from the show. Very expensive … but if you’ve seen his show “Jigsaw” you’ll understand. If you are in a relationship … caveat emptor.

mentallyalex, 11 days ago (edited 11 days ago) to random

I stare at the mirror before me. This isn't my first performance but I haven't been on in over a month and I feel rusty. The lines in my face seem exaggerated in this stupid mirror but I know it's just who I am. I'm not as young as I once was, I think to myself laughing.

Someone outside the door knocks softly. They need to alert me but don't want to disturb my process, I think laughing.

"Come in," I say to the mirror loud enough for the person on the other side of the door to hear, I hope. My reflection looks angry as I yell and I remind myself to relax my face if I have to speak loudly on stage.

A small boy, no more than twelve enters the room. He is dressed for the harsh cold of the winter streets, heavy layers of what look to be rotting and discarding cloth have been wrapped around his torso and limbs. His dark brown hair appears matted and dingy, shoved haphazardly beneath a hat. The style and form of the hat long ago lost under the crush of time.

I turn to look at the young man and notice he seems to be pale and underfed, his eyes hollow and haunted beneath a heavy brow. He licks his parched lips and fumbles for a boombox from the eighties in an anachronistic move that brings me pause.

Looking at me with a confidence brought by a short life of hardship, the little boy clears his throat and greets me in the high pitch of youth with a perfect victorian accent. I am in Chicago, and this is not a common accent to hear now.

Bowing curtly the young man, in a voice far more formal than warranted the occasion said, "Sir, a message for you,".

Holding the boombox in his tiny hands he held it aloft in a manner befitting a Cameron Crowe film. As he held the machine above his head and pressed play I heard from the box the following statement.

"Alex, you are on in five."

From there, the young man lowered the box and nodding to me again bowed and left the room.

I laughed, remembering the silly rider request and found myself more impressed with this theater than I had at first realized.

• Inspired by @GayDeceiver :blobcatgiggle:

GayDeceiver, 11 days ago to random

“Daddy, I’m quitting college and getting me a husband”
“What? How? Why?”
“That dreamy football player with the beard said I can only be fulfilled if I follow the Xian mandate to be a submissive, quiet, supportive wife to an alpha male.”

GayDeceiver, 11 days ago to random

No one ever:

“Did you see his raised F350 with the forged metal bumpers? I have never been so attracted to a man ever before!”

GayDeceiver, 11 days ago to random

“I wear tight pants, and everyone just gives me odd looks. He wears tight pants, and everyone drools. Not fair!”
“He’s a triathlete gym bro. You eat donuts and spend most of your time sitting. Do the math.”

GayDeceiver, 11 days ago to random

Establish dominance by outstaring a Karen.

the_etrain, 12 days ago to random

Our new phone system sends voicemails to my email inbox as .wav files. What sick, disturbed fuck set that up? Get real, man.

GayDeceiver, 12 days ago to random

"I really wish you'd stop calling it 'nut jizz.' The correct name is almond milk."

GayDeceiver, 12 days ago to HashtagGames

Joseph and His Amazing Technicolor, Organically Sourced, Natural Fiber, Hand Woven, Custom Made Dream Catcher Coat

#MakeASongOrPoemRidiculous
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GayDeceiver, 12 days ago to HashtagGames

She Works Hard for Her Money Only to Earn 75% of What Men Do

#MakeASongOrPoemRidiculous
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GayDeceiver, 12 days ago to random

“It takes a village.”

Narrator: It did. Everyone took part in the sacrifice. The harvest was plentiful.

GayDeceiver, 13 days ago to random

More sass than a gaggle of drunk twinks.

GayDeceiver, 13 days ago to random

“No one ever expected the solar flare to bring the reign of man to an end. Losing them was just inconvenient,” said the cat

GayDeceiver, 13 days ago to random

Every time I watch the Matrix, I expect Agent Smith to show up in full Drag for his final battle with Neo.

GayDeceiver, 13 days ago to random

Update … most of the initial work is done. More to one later.

GayDeceiver, 14 days ago to random

Proof positive that my little one, Gracie, loves to ride in the car. Yes, that is the big IKEA warehouse in the background.

GayDeceiver, 15 days ago to random

“Ever since the solar flare event started, I’ve been able to do real magic, like on TV. No more herbal medicines and crystals for this witch! Beckifer Smythe is about to pay for all the things she did to me in high school!”