GayDeceiver

GayDeceiver, 21 hours ago to random

Proof positive that my little one, Gracie, loves to ride in the car. Yes, that is the big IKEA warehouse in the background.

GayDeceiver, 1 day ago to random

“Ever since the solar flare event started, I’ve been able to do real magic, like on TV. No more herbal medicines and crystals for this witch! Beckifer Smythe is about to pay for all the things she did to me in high school!”

GayDeceiver, 1 day ago to random

“The worshippers of Cthulhu remain hopeful that this solar flare will not awaken the Ancient One and bring forth the end of everything.”

GayDeceiver, 1 day ago to random

“The solar flare has caused a series of weird events around the world. People are manifesting completely useless superpowers, and about 1 in 10 million actually gets something semi useful. For example, I now know to the last pup the entire population of sea otters in the world. Yeah. That is my power.”

GayDeceiver, 1 day ago to random

“Around the world, people are reporting that their house cats are now speaking perfectly and that all they’re doing is calling the name of Bastet, their queen. Most folks think it’s the solar flare and the Aurora.”

GayDeceiver, 1 day ago to random

“I don’t mean to say that maybe we might have misjudged a bit with the ad, but the ghost of Steve Jobs is walking the hallways, screaming in rage and shattering everything he touches.”

GayDeceiver, 1 day ago to random

“Governments around the world are reporting that the ancient city of Atlantis has materialized overnight. Scientists believe the latest solar flare created the perfect conditions for the legendary city’s return.”

GayDeceiver, 1 day ago to random

“One simple solar flare, and the Chinese government has to fight an army of terracota golems that are about to to restore the golem emperor to power.”

GayDeceiver, 1 day ago to random

“No one ever expects the solar flare to bring forth what we used to call ‘mythical creatures,’ but here we are … you’re a vampire, I’m a werewolf, and our kids could be either once they hit puberty.”

thepoliticalcat, 1 day ago to random

You really SHOULD be following my friend @BenCisco. He keeps me up to date with stuff like THIS Stepford Wife and her plan for the ladies of this country:

https://mastodon.social/@BenCisco@mastodon.online/112419617215125611

Alert everyone, she's bringing Gilead with her. #SerenaJoy #KatieBritt #FollowFriday

GayDeceiver, 1 day ago to random

I doubt this happens, but just in case the solar flare event knocks us to the Stone Age … it has been very nice interacting with you all.

GayDeceiver, 1 day ago to random

Every week, I look forward to We Rate Dogs doing their recap of the week on TikTok. I smile, I laugh, I giggle, I cry … and sometimes weep.

My coworkers always say, “There goes Rusty watching his dogs.”

It’s nice being in touch with one’s emotions in a positive way.

GayDeceiver, 2 days ago to random

Doctor: Dear gods, is that … a detached penis? How did it happen?

Patient: Well, we were doing shots and got pretty wasted, and then Bill started bragging about his Cybertruck and software updates … and how his frunk closure problem was fixed …

Doctor: Say no more … Let’s prep him for surgery

*** Patient gets carted off ***

Nurse: Isn’t this the 3rd one this week?

Doctor: Fifth. Tech Bros, amirite?

GayDeceiver, 2 days ago to random

“Some idiot decided to have AI linked to sex behavior to create the perfect sexbot. That’s how we ended up with Killer Furry Nymphomaniac Robots. Now, hush. I think some are nearby.”

GayDeceiver, 2 days ago to random

Seriously, folks … whoever is in charge of this reality, would you mind turning down the “interesting times” knob down a couple of notches?

GayDeceiver, 2 days ago to random

“What do you mean you’re not taking me anywhere for Mother’s Day! I am the mother of your children!”
“First, the ‘children’ are our dogs. Second, we are both gay men. Third, just because you are The Giver of Snacks and Provider of Snuggles does not make you their mother. So … no … no Mother’s Day Brunch for you.”

GayDeceiver, 3 days ago to random

Biblically Accurate Angel: BE NOT AFRAID!

Me: I’m filled up to my gills with anti-anxiety medications. I also have some awesome mood stabilizers in me. Plus, I just had some kickass gummies. You ain’t scary.

Angel: I BRING A MESSAGE FROM … wait … not even a little nervous?

Me: Dude. I’ve seen creepier stuff than you on the Web. I’m like totally desensitized.

Angel:

Me: What can I say? Better living through pharmaceuticals.

HamonWry, 3 days ago to random

I’ve been thinking a lot about the testimony given by Stormy Daniels during Trump’s election interference trial.

Stormy apparently crossed a line or two during her testimony but it was far less destructive than Trump’s continued rhetoric about the trial and his antics inside that NY courtroom.

I almost want to applaud Daniels for using Trump’s own tactics against him. #stormydaniels #trumptrial

WorkWithKirk, 3 days ago to random

#MashUpRomComsAndHorrorFilms Twenty Se7en Dresses 👗

GayDeceiver, 3 days ago to random

SQUEE! My Star Wars Lego has arrived!

GayDeceiver, 3 days ago to random

It looks like the Finding Out portion is getting saucier.

GayDeceiver, 4 days ago to random

Elon sits at his desk, after he's had to backtrack on his super smart move to lay off so many people from Tesla. His phone rings. He picks it up. A manly, sonorous voice says, "Hey Elon. It's John Mastodon. Congrats on your enshittification of Tesla." The line goes dead. Elon sighs ... a single tear running down his cheek.

the_etrain, 4 days ago to random

Your toot. Is very funny. I give it boost, yes?

RickiTarr, 5 days ago to random

Every generation of kids wants to identify themselves in a new way, and yes, we've all been guilty of finding it funny or annoying, but the truth is we all did it. I'm happy for them that it's safer for them to really explore their identity, and sexuality in public, and not just little secret corners of the internet, or shadowy bars that people only whispered about. Maybe we are fine with words like Queer, Gay, or Ace, we fought for them to be fine, and maybe it feels strange that they would reject something so hard won. We should let them find their own identities though, it's what we wanted, right?! So, Cheers to all the new words and acronyms, I can never seem to keep up with, I hope each generation gets to be less scared to be themselves.