Lucia

Lucia, 1 day ago to random

I have turned 45 today. I honestly don't super care about my birthday, but I feel some sort of cosmic obligation to at least acknowledge it. Today will literally be no different from any other day, other than my age number has ticked up by one.

Lucia, 2 days ago to random

Got a "Happy Mother's Day" from my daughter 💕

Lucia, 3 days ago to random

If I were found mummified in an ancient tomb there would be jars of pickles everywhere.

Lucia, 3 days ago to random

My phones flashback feature:

"Looks like you need a reminder of some traumatizing shit, so here you go!"

Like what the fuck even is a story with photos of me moving from safe and secure house to single wide to 28 foot camper trailer? And each move represents loss, stress, poor mental health, basically an ongoing living nightmare that never seems to stop.

No, I'm fine, there is obviously no trauma involved.

Lucia, 3 days ago to random

A pickle is literally an embalmed cucumber. Little veggie corpses.

Lucia, 4 days ago to trans

Can hear my cousins husband chatter with his little kids as they feed and water the pigs a ways off from my camper, through my open window. They all knew me as Deadname.

Anyways, the 6yo is telling dad about how Lucía showed them a garter snake and a blue tailed skink living under a board, and how I told them to look but don't try to catch the lizard because it will easily lose it's tail, and this leaves them vulnerable. I hear them all talking about Lucía and "she", and it's so nice that they are doing this even when I'm not around, not visible or visually within earshot.

#Trans

Lucia, 6 days ago to random

Seriously, please CW your politics posts. Also please don't @ me about filters.

18+ Lucia, 6 days ago to random

Hi, been a while since we have checked in on the feed with a pic, so I shall sow hopeful seeds of a shameless serotonin harvest.

Here are one Lucía and one shitty angle of a Kat-thulhu, getting ready to work on sewing an apron for my daughter. We shall see how far I get today. She is actually the most worthless helper of course.

Lucia, 7 days ago to random

I've considered myself gray ace for a while now, but also I feel like other ace folks look like horny sex goblins compared to me 😂 And then allo folks? I must be so boring to everybody. I don't play flirt like all the other girls, and on top of that, I wouldn't know flirting if it slapped me in the mouth and screamed at me. Unless it is of course packaged and labeled. If in fact any human has ever flirted with me, I would clock it as, "Jeez, they sure are nice to me!"

Thoughts brought to you by My Feed™️

nyquildotorg, 7 days ago to random

Which orientation on the new iPads has the Apple "right-side up"?

People have been telling me for years that the primary orientation of the iPad is landscape, but that Apple on the back has always suggested to me that that's just not true.

Lucia, 7 days ago to random

Is there a way to make my cat stop sprinting out of the cat box across all surfaces in her path with her grimy litter feet to the opposite end of my home? NO, because you can't make a cat do shit.

Lucia, 12 days ago to random

Does anyone remember what the inside of a library looks like? /j

Lucia, 13 days ago to random

Surprisingly I feel like a cute bat today, so I shall preserve that sensation by NOT taking a selfie lol. Sure path to ruining the feels the way my brain is lately.

Lucia, 15 days ago to random

Feeling the darkness starting to settle in. I hope I'm wrong, but I'm usually not.

Lucia, 16 days ago to random

I don't understand how people love rhubarb so much. Cooked, it tastes like squishy nostalgia and desperation with a squeeze of lemon.

Lucia, 17 days ago to random

Tried to take selfie, felt ugly, then dropped phone in cat water. A sign

Lucia, 18 days ago to random

I'm the Craigslist seller your mother warned you about. Bats spread rabies.

(Awaiting a buyer to pick up my rabbit cages I no longer use)

Lucia, 21 days ago to mentalhealth

Well, today I slept til about 9am which is super late for me. Then about 30 mins later fell back asleep til around 11. This is after staying in bed all day yesterday playing my ps5, which I'm also doing today.

Needless to say this is outside of my norm of waking up around 7am. My head feels fucked, and I just can't use any brain function aside from vegetation via game. I tried talking to my aunt about what's going on with my head. but couldn't verbally articulate my thoughts well enough to be of any help to her with regards to helping me (that was last night after a full day of being out of home base, very exhausted).

I've discussed this quite a bit with my therapist, with regards to getting med adjustment via a couple day inpatient visit to a local behavioral health facility here in town. This is supposed to be the next step if my prn med doesn't help, otherwise this could go on for weeks or months.

If course rest and isolation from stressors is right up there in importance with the prn med. I'm kinda OK just doing nothing in a zero stimulus environment, but leaving my cave as I've had to do a few times in past few days, has made things worse.

The problem is that I have been affected by the stress from my moving and living situation, and have been working outside my comfort zone with my aunt to get my finances and life in order. I'd legit be homeless in addition to broke if she wasn't helping me, but it's taking its toll.

My aunt is now on a joint checking and savings account with me, and is fully managing it for me. I will also be canceling my credit cards. I have to tell her about literally every dollar I spend, and for the first time since divorce I'm on a budget.

Anyways, the latter bit about my finances, that's a big part of my stress and current mental and emotional degradation, and it's not going to just go away.

#MentalHealth #MentalIllness #Schizoaffective #Schizophrenia #Bipolar