MonotoneofBill

MonotoneofBill, 3 months ago to random

This summer we hope to visit a bemusement park.

MonotoneofBill, 3 months ago to random

Our fruit delivery man is driving us bananas.

MonotoneofBill, 4 months ago to random

What lies dead, a hundred feet in the air?

A deceased centipede.

MonotoneofBill, 4 months ago to random

Clever clergy will dispense forehead ashes today in the shape of a ♡.

MonotoneofBill, 4 months ago to random

The patron saint for someone who copies scads of people on every correspondence is still St. Francis of a CC.

MonotoneofBill, 4 months ago to random

I don’t not think the photographer produced two sets of negatives.

MonotoneofBill, 4 months ago to random

If you drop 1000 ml of junk on the pavement you are liter-ing.

MonotoneofBill, 4 months ago to random

Vin Diesel morning meals:

Breakfast and Breakfurious

MonotoneofBill, 4 months ago to random

Gave the new handyman a task list and when I returned I saw he had only completed #1, #3, and #5.

He only does odd jobs.

MonotoneofBill, 4 months ago to random

Dave just finished “The History of Cannabis.”

Good weed.

MonotoneofBill, 4 months ago to random

I like to learn something new every day.

When double rainbows occur, the colors of the second arc are always reversed.

MonotoneofBill, 4 months ago to random

Asked to have my hair cut like Tom Cruise, so the barber gave me a cushion to sit on.

MonotoneofBill, 4 months ago to random

Lingering in bed on a winter morning is a quilty pleasure.

MonotoneofBill, 4 months ago to random

I like to learn something new every day.

For almost 15 years, Vermont was technically its own country before joining the United States in 1791. It had its own coins and postal service.

MonotoneofBill, 4 months ago to random

Close enough now that I can type it.

That Pennsylvania rodent that predicts the weather got shadow banned.

MonotoneofBill, 4 months ago to random

Wake attendees for the man who invented the Jack-in-the-Box were very apprehensive.

MonotoneofBill, 4 months ago to random

The market for the machine that measures a dad joke, the sighsmograph, has really groan.

MonotoneofBill, 4 months ago to random

At long last, the truth about Wayne’s origami business failure is unfolding.

MonotoneofBill, 4 months ago to random

The past tense of William Shakespeare would be Wouldiwas Shookspeared.

MonotoneofBill, 5 months ago to random

When reading the obit of the last "Honeymooner" Joyce Randolph (R.I.P.), I was surprised the show lasted only a year. I do remember not liking Ralph threatening to send her co-star Alice to the moon.

MonotoneofBill, 5 months ago to random

The worst thing about disciplining a child in the supermarket is not knowing where the parents are standing.

MonotoneofBill, 5 months ago to random

The face of a child says it all.

Especially the mouth part.

MonotoneofBill, 5 months ago to random

So you’re a fan of opera puns, aria?

MonotoneofBill, 5 months ago to random

Heard PBS has a show for bleach blondes and their hair care titled "Finding Your Roots."

MonotoneofBill, 5 months ago to random

When a woman changes clothing in front of you, she’s either interested or she hasn’t spotted you in the tree with binoculars yet.