@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party
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TheBreadmonkey

@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party

Hi, I'm Ben.

I'm a heady mix of a serious responsible grown up man and a stupid man-baby idiot with delusions of grandeur.

I'm a big nerd, really into music, cooking, books, films and scifi. I hate/love running and generally love being outdoors.

🌱

He/Him

📷 https://gram.social/TheBreadmonkey

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TheBreadmonkey, to random
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I don't want to instantly crumble into dust, but they just don't make 'em like Bronski Beat anymore

TheBreadmonkey, to random
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Proud Boys is such a funny name for a club. I wonder if anyone has noticed this before. I wonder if they have a UK chapter called the Splendid Chaps.

TheBreadmonkey, to random
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I've been asked by the fam to 'just knock together some vegan baklava'. I don't want to be a dick about it, but I feel like it might not be a 10 minute job. Just wondered if anyone has any pointers? I assume I replace with maple syrup?

TheBreadmonkey, to random
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My wife is apparently not a fan of the band Poison

TheBreadmonkey, to random
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The funny thing (to me) about ADHD and/or autism behaviours, is that I feel like it could be a superpower and I'm pretty sure it could somehow be super-monetised or useful. But the problem is coordinating it, which of course noone is able to do. Sort of like infinite monkeys and typewriters. I reckon I could solve all of the worlds problems if someone just sat me in a room and let me ramble. But it would require someone deciphering it.

Sir, I've listened to him talk about tofu and the band Poison for the last 36 hours, but he also mentioned something about building albedo that might halt global warming, but I don't know what's real anymore.

TheBreadmonkey, to random
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Breaded fried tofu can get fucked

TheBreadmonkey,
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@mentallyalex

Have you ever made breaded fried tofu?

TheBreadmonkey,
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@thepoliticalcat

Making myself. Pain in the arse.

TheBreadmonkey,
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@mentallyalex

Short version - tofu is a bit of a pain in the butt to turn into 'chicken' burgers if you're frying. I have had some great success, but equally it is resistant to anything sticking to it, no matter what clever techniques I employ. My wife assures me it's good (which is nice because she pulls no punches and would tell me if there was literally anything she didn't like about it), but I would describe it as.... Alopecia breaded tofu.

TheBreadmonkey,
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@thepoliticalcat

This would be a great idea if my wife didn't want breaded 'chicken' tofu burgers tonight

TheBreadmonkey,
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@justafrog @mentallyalex

I season-floured and double-dipped in breadcrumbs and aquafaba which isn't quite as forgiving as egg (because it doesn't cook in the same way when it hits the heat)

TheBreadmonkey,
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@mentallyalex @justafrog

So I have an air fryer aswell. But if you're breading things to fry it can be dicey taking it out again (unless you line the inside, which spoils the convection). So I fried and then airfried to retain crispiness but lose some of the grease. But the initial stage was the issue.

TheBreadmonkey,
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@thepoliticalcat

I made a glorious katsu sauce and sticky rice, which saved the day so we're OK I think!

TheBreadmonkey,
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@justafrog @mentallyalex

In vegan land, that, my friend, is an egg

TheBreadmonkey,
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@mentallyalex @justafrog

Air fryers are amazing. But I'm still getting to grips with it. Also.... I've set fire to 2 so am perhaps not an expert.

TheBreadmonkey,
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@Alice
ALRIGHT ALICE! You sound like my wife. I'm doing my best!

(jks)

TheBreadmonkey,
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@justafrog @mentallyalex

I realise this doesn't fit AT ALL, but somehow my brain heard this to the tune of 80s Hair Metal sensations Poison, with Every Rose Has Its Thorn...

farah, to random
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Peppa Pig Lofi Songs

No I’m not joking

TheBreadmonkey,
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@farah

AAAAARGH THIS IS THE WORST THING I'VE EVER HEARD

TheBreadmonkey, to random
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One thing I really enjoy about Fedi is the imagined relationships I have with people (not like that). The imagined alliances (ride together, die together). The imagined feuds (you have unfollowed me now prepare to face your doom). There are people I get mixed up, including two guys in particular - one who's very gentle and sweet and one who posts stuff like "FUCKING, gonna go out and punch a fuckn.... baby, grr, bloody... bastard" (sorry I couldn't think of anything they might actually say so did my best approximation). In reality it's just people, bored, saying "I had a sandwich" then there's some berk (me) on the other side of the planet going "YES! I eat sandwiches too! We are now brethren! Let us go into battle together". I wonder if I might spend too much time on social media.

TheBreadmonkey,
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@purplepadma

Whilst I don't disagree, I do worry about the pair of us on a road trip together. We'd have to have someone there to stop us doing a Thelma and Louise every five minutes.

Song comes on the radio.... I turn to you and say... "I don't like this song", to which you reply... "I don't like this song either" and we both clasp hands and shout "THELMA AND LOUISE-TIME"

TheBreadmonkey, to random
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I, like, big boosts and I cannot lie

TheBreadmonkey, to random
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Don't worry about boosting my posts, guys. I write them specifically for you so wouldn't want to you to cheapen them by sharing them round. 👍

TheBreadmonkey, to random
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More news from Christian News website

Benny Hill gif signifying a double entendre by turning to look at camera in a 1970s way that suggests something rude was just said. Sepia image of a smart but disgusting pervert looking man.

TheBreadmonkey, to random
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Well besides Dannniii Minogue being hilarious, the news is pretty fucking bleak today. So I had a brainwave. Thought I'd try and improve my mood by looking up 'good news'. However I accidentally typed 'god news' and (in the style of a clickbait article).... the results may surprise you....

(or not)

TheBreadmonkey,
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@dannotdaniel @Tattooed_Mummy

Sweet baby cheeses!

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