@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

TheBreadmonkey

@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party

Hi, I'm Ben.

I'm a heady mix of a serious responsible grown up man and a stupid man-baby idiot with delusions of grandeur.

I'm a big nerd, really into music, cooking, books, films and scifi. I hate/love running and generally love being outdoors.

🌱

He/Him

📷 https://gram.social/TheBreadmonkey

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

TheBreadmonkey, to random
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

I do hope 2024 continues being the year of ominous galactic portents. Next up in June - the Moon explodes, revealing a bright glowing green orb inside. That's our moon now. We get green nighttimes from now on.

TheBreadmonkey, to random
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

Just passed an ice cream van called 'Mr Creamy' but was too busy posting to this stupid website to get a photo

TheBreadmonkey,
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

@purplepadma @adhdeanasl

Sorry. I have to go now. The nurse says phone time is over.

TheBreadmonkey,
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

@purplepadma @adhdeanasl

Trish dragged me on a walk from her mums to High Elms, passing the St Christopher Hospice fun walk which I didn't know existed but turns out my running club were there doing stalls and checkpoints AT THE LOCAL PUB. So I will very much be.... 'helping out' next year. Also - free lunch because after we'd finished a shared thing, found a squashed bug on the plate! Hooray! Winner-winner insect in your dinner, as they say.

TheBreadmonkey,
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

@purplepadma @adhdeanasl

Isn't Pica when you eat plastic and whatnot?

TheBreadmonkey, to random
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

I could be wrong, but I think there's a minion in the road. Everyone else can see it, right? Right?!

The minion has turned to face the left of the camera. What is it looking at? Who knows. Is it even real? What is real? Am I real?

TheBreadmonkey,
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

@purplepadma @sheepnik

Talking of which... I had this the other day which fully baffled me for about 5 minutes.

TheBreadmonkey,
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@purplepadma @sheepnik

It's very clearly explained in the AltText. You simply need to have powers of deduction beyond the range of human ability. Just divine the answer from a jumble of conflicting information. It's very straightforward really.

TheBreadmonkey, to random
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

Went for a walk in a Windows screensaver

Big sky. More horizon. Still the same rich English greens. A path to one side leads through the meadow down into apparent infinite green. You can almost hear the buzzing of insects, all other noise distant.

TheBreadmonkey, to random
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

I love Ralph Ineson (and Malkovich), but I have a bad feeling about this....

'Fantastic Four' Casts Ralph Ineson as Galactus
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/fantastic-four-casts-ralph-ineson-as-galactus-1235893995/

TheBreadmonkey, to random
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

Ooh, I'd forgotten about this. Excellent. Love these films.

'28 Years Later' Set for 2025 Release Date
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/28-years-later-2025-release-date-1235896469/

TheBreadmonkey, to Eurovision
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

Realised what Switzerlands Nemo reminds me of! It's the opera singer from Fifth Element!

TheBreadmonkey, to random
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

Song from Italy is making me dance like I'm at an after dinner disco on an all-inclusive holiday somewhere hot and I've seriously overdone it on the chi-chis

I'LL NEVER SEE THESE PEOPLE AGAIN - IT'S FINE

TheBreadmonkey, to random
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

I must advise I am on the traditional white wine

TheBreadmonkey, to Eurovision
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

If you don't want to see posts, please feel free to mute. I was going to attempt to watch it quietly, but realistically it's unlikely I'll be able to do that.

TheBreadmonkey, to random
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

You see those TV tropes of the villagers with torches and pitchforks and think that's unlikely to happen in real life. Then on the street WhatsApp group Paula has seen 5 teenagers on e-scooters at the end of the road and within an hour it's escalated to people checking their Ring Doorbell™ recordings, bellyaching about why there aren't more police on patrol, then Rob from 32 is saying if he was in right now and not in Spain (where he's kindly taken the time to send some photos of him sunbathing by the pool with a cocktail) he would ruddy well go out there to confront them.

30+ messages for what, as far as I can tell, is some kids playing on their scooters.

Angry mob with torches. Looks like rednecks.

TheBreadmonkey, to random
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

My family all appear to be in 'the grump zone' this evening. And I must tell you this - they are not keen at all on me calling it the grump zone.

TheBreadmonkey,
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

@mentallyalex

😂 I'm sure they would appreciate it and not bury me in the back garden and just tell everyone I've mysteriously disappeared....

TheBreadmonkey, to random
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

Seems a bit unfair that people for absolutely years have been having to take expensive holidays to remote and freezing countries to experience the Aurora Borealis, then it just gets released to the rest of the world for free.

TheBreadmonkey, to random
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

Beautiful aurora last night

Gif from Color Out Of Space. A girl looks on at a swirling pink, purple and blue vortex which came from out of space, innit. Lots of flashy lights. Alien colors will drive you mad.

TheBreadmonkey, to random
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

Youngest has gone off to see one of her mates crowned "Princess of Bromley or something". We had literally no idea what she was talking about, but apparently it's a hundred year tradition of Hayes crowning a May Queen. Apparently part of the Merrie England and London Festival. Girls start as faeries then some get crowned May Queen. I mean....... it's a bit..... Midsommar, isn't it?

Midsommar. Sad girl encased in hundreds of bright flowers (including a flower crown) in some weird pagan ritual.

kimlockhartga, to books
@kimlockhartga@beige.party avatar

@bookstodon

I have FOMOOB*
There is no cure.

*Fear Of Missing Out On Books

TheBreadmonkey,
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

@kimlockhartga @bookstodon

Fear of moobs

Alice, to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

More like aurora boring Alice.

JK, I'm just jealous because I can't see anything in the Bay Area.

TheBreadmonkey,
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

@Alice

Orr-snorer Ben-Rihanna(is)

Nailed it 😎

TheBreadmonkey, to random
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

The one thing that's frustrating about Mastodon is that it's difficult to tell if anyone saw an aurora last night

TheBreadmonkey, to random
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

I am apparently the last person on the planet to know we might be able to see the aurora tonight. So many amazing photos online tonight. Lovely. Genuinely didn't think I'd get to see it in my lifetime. Absolutely thrilled.

TheBreadmonkey,
@TheBreadmonkey@beige.party avatar

@DemocracySpot

Ha. I was too excited to think of anything that clever.

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