TheBreadmonkey

TheBreadmonkey, 2 months ago to random

Sad to hear they're discontinuing work on the Apple car

TheBreadmonkey, 3 months ago to random

I really like Wildlife Photographer of the Year. For anyone who hasn't seen them, here are some of the images...

Highly commended 'Starling Murmuration' by Daniel Dencescu shows a mesmerising mass of starlings swirling into the shape of a giant bird on their way to communal roosts above Rome, Italy.
Mark Boyd's highly commended 'Shared Parenting' photo shows a pair of lionesses devotedly grooming a cub in Kenya's Maasai Mara.
'The Happy Turtle', by finalist Tzahi Finkelstein from Israel, shows a Balkan pond turtle sharing a moment of fascinating peaceful coexistence with a northern banded groundling dragonfly in Israel's Jezreel Valley.

TheBreadmonkey, 8 months ago to random

TheBreadmonkey, 5 months ago to random

Imagine the art we could create if we weren't all busy creating wealth for the wealthy

TheBreadmonkey, 9 months ago to random

It's nearly 6pm. You know what that means......

(it's crime time)

TheBreadmonkey, 6 months ago to random

A lot of you probably don't know this, but 'mansplaining' is a portmanteau of 'man' and 'explaining'

(you're welcome)

TheBreadmonkey, 2 months ago to random

Me, the only non-coder throughout the entire Fediverse, hanging with my Mastodon chums

TheBreadmonkey, 2 months ago to random

Wife's just shown me this.....

Professional golfer Georgia Ball - a certified PGA pro recording herself practising her swing, as a random man comes up to tell her she's doing it wrong.......

Professional sports person minding their own business, slow swinging to practice. When the guy pesters her she realises she's got to shut him up so hits the longest and straightest shot I've ever seen on a driving range. She handles him very well but HOLY CHRIST WHAT AN ABSOLUTE DICK!

TheBreadmonkey, 10 months ago to random

I work from home and hate it when my wife's also at home because she keeps coming into my office and disturbing me and also because she just caught me trying to learn the dance from Smooth Criminal while I'm supposed to be working

TheBreadmonkey, 7 months ago to random

Religious paintings always have the same look as my wife when I tell her one of my hilarious jokes

TheBreadmonkey, 1 month ago to random

Look, does anyone want to just buy all of my data? Rather than going through all this rigmarole, spending billions on AI, looking for ways to catch me out or circumvent Data Protection laws. It's probably all out there anyway. Just shut down all of your expensive projects, slip me a couple of million pounds and I'll tell you anything you want to know. It'll save you a fortune. Straight from the source. Locally sourced, organic and artisanal data. Fairtrade data.

TheBreadmonkey, 5 months ago to random

It's nearly time

TheBreadmonkey, 7 months ago to random

Mastodon currently feels like the end of a party. Most of the normals have gone and we who remain are the hardcore. Or have problems at home. Or are desperately lonely. I may have lost control of this metaphor.

TheBreadmonkey, 7 months ago to random

Tusky is currently having problems with images. So I am currently browsing my timeline as though a visually impaired person might. And I've gotta tell you.... it's a bit fucking annoying when images don't have AltText. Also (and I am 100% guilty of this) where the AltText doesn't actually describe what's going on and is a joke. Congratulations - you've just posted a meaningless blur!

TheBreadmonkey, 9 months ago to random

It occurs to me now that my (and many others) introduction is a bit like the persona you might 'deploy' on a first date.

"Oh yes of course I have interests. I love reading French poetry, computering, and hope one day to invent the method that leads to world peace."

I want to see some honest introductions.

"Hi - I'm an absolute fuckn nightmare. I'm extremely needy and my posting patterns are that of buckshot from a shotgun. You should probably mute me, but it might be entertaining watching my mental health deteriorate in real-time. You'll never be sure if I'm doing a 'bit' or if I'm deeply unwell."

TheBreadmonkey, 1 month ago to random

Very much my feeling on Threads joining Fedi

TheBreadmonkey, 5 months ago to random

Evergreen

TheBreadmonkey, 4 months ago to random

I will never not read NSW as NSFW and am always baffled why the news from Australia must be so....explicit

TheBreadmonkey, 8 months ago to random

I am once again appealing for follow suggestions.

Lot of the larger accounts seem to be backup / sporadic posters for people primarily on other platforms. I'm looking for the true Masto/Fedi Championés. People who are active contributers and committed to making this place their home.

More 'finger on the pulse'. More memes! More feral pigs and icebox plums.

Basically: more shared experiences.

I love seeing all of your interests, but please bear in mind that I am a big idiot and am primarily interested in the funnies.

Invite your friends! Tell your mums about me (sorry, I made this weird). X

TheBreadmonkey, 6 months ago to random

I would like to see a function added to Mastodon whereby I can edit other people's posts

TheBreadmonkey, 4 months ago to random

I'm 80% sure it's been medically proven that there are no wolves inside us

TheBreadmonkey, 3 months ago to random

Sorry I can't come to work today - my electric toothbrush has taken me hostage

TheBreadmonkey, 1 month ago to random

Beyond thrilled to have discovered this quote from Charles Darwin today.

"... I am very poorly today & very stupid & hate everybody & everything. One lives only to make blunders. I am going to write a little Book for Murray on orchids & today I hate them worse than everything..."

(Letter to Charles Lyell, 1 October 1861)

TheBreadmonkey, 1 month ago to random

TIL 'rubbing the glass' as a term for phone scrolling, and I hate it