davep

@davep@infosec.exchange

Does IT stuff.

Likes permaculture, infosec, Tranmere Rovers. But mainly bad jokes stolen from https://www.justthetalk.co.uk/thehaven/17468/urgent-i-need-a-good-joke-right-now

Missing my Dad and little brother.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

davep, to random

A police officer turned up at my door this morning.

“Do the letters TG mean anything to you?” he said.

“No.” I said.

“What about RP?”

“No, means nothing to me.” I said.

“How about AH?” He asked.

“Look,” I said “am I suspected of something?”

“No sir.” He replied “These are just initial enquiries.”

davep, to random

I popped in to a place called Dan's Cafe for a bite to eat. There was non stop George Michael music and tons of George Michael memorabilia. I'm sure it was some kind of subliminal ad campaign.

I'm never going to Dan's again

davep, to random

I was walking home from school, and there were some men building a house. The chap hammering away on the roof called me a paranoid little weirdo

in morse code.

davep, to random

~ Old Italian proverb..

After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box.

davep, to random

I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad I take something for it.

davep, to random

I started up a dating site for chickens, but it's not my main job, I'm just doing it…

…to make hens meet.

davep, to random

I got Five Star pet insurance so when my cat goes to the vets I get a courtesy cat.

davep, to random

Recently I've been telling everyone I know about the benefits of eating dried grapes.

It's all about raisin awareness

davep, to random

Lucille decided to give herself a big treat for her 70th birthday by staying overnight in a really nice hotel.. When she checked out the next morning, the desk clerk handed her a bill for $250.00.

She demanded to know why the charge was so high "I agree it's a nice hotel, but the rooms aren't worth $250..00 for just an overnight stay - I didn't even have breakfast!"

The clerk told her that $250.00 is the 'standard rate,' and breakfast had been included had she wanted it.

She insisted on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appeared and, forewarned by the desk clerk, announced: "This hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center which are available for use."

"But I didn't use them."

'Well, they are here, and you could have." He went on to explain that she could also have seen one of the in-hotel shows for which they were so famous."We have the best entertainers from the world over performing here."

"But I didn't go to any of those shows.."

"Well, we have them, and you could have."

No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, she replied, "But I didn't use it!" and the Manager countered with his standard response.

After several minutes discussion, and with the Manager still unmoved, she decided to pay, wrote a check and gave it to him. The Manager was surprised when he looked at the check.

"But Madam, this check is for only $50.00"

"That's correct I charged you $200.00 for sleeping with me."

"But I didn't!"

"Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have."

jerry, to random

Y’all: the Mona app for iOS has quote tweets.

davep,

@jerry "Quote Toots", non?

davep, to random

From @AricToler
We found posts on a public Discord server from Jack Teixeira going back to February 25, 2022 - the day after Russia's full invasion of Ukraine - with information from classified intelligence reports.

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/21/us/politics/jack-teixeira-leaks-russia-ukraine.html

davep, (edited )

@sophietkd I copied his birdsite post verbatim, without the Twitter link-shortener (apart from "From @AricToler") so I guess you can take it up with Bellingcat.

I was frustrated by the same thing, but the essence was in the post. I did manage to page down and take a screen grab before the nagging took up most of the screen though.

Oh, and thanks for the unsolicited advice 👍​

HamonWry, to random
@HamonWry@mastodon.world avatar

The older I get the more amazing I used to be.

davep,

@HamonWry And I have a very promising future behind me.

webuiltthiscity, to random
@webuiltthiscity@sutrofan.com avatar

deleted_by_author

    •
    davep,

    @webuiltthiscity Ditto France

    VidmoOreda, to random

    Hi friends. Who’s not muted me yet? I got almost 700 mother fuckers here. So, where are you at? Feel free to respond or ignore. I’m watching closely. Going on a troll fest and bot fest really soon.

    davep,

    @VidmoOreda on Mastodon? Weird. I'm mainly seeing daft jokes.

    davep,

    @VidmoOreda aww, shucks!

    rodhilton, to random
    @rodhilton@mastodon.social avatar

    Not gonna lie gang, Elon may have accidentally created the perfect Twitter.

    With the help of a single chrome extension that blocks all verified users, he has unwittingly developed a way for all the people you don't want to see to self-select into your block list.

    Instantly all the nazis and right wingers and Elon fans and racists have blocked themselves on my behalf, as well as all advertisements.

    Twitter is actually pretty rad now that the garbage has shadowbanned itself.

    davep,

    @rodhilton and blocking all those users dramatically increases CPU overhead for Twitter. A veritable double whammy!

    davep, to random

    An oldie:

    An elderly man living alone in Nelson wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Paul, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

    Dear Paul, I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days. Love, Dad

    A few days later he received a letter from his son.

    Dear Dad, Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried. Love, Paul.

    At 4 a.m. the next morning, CID officers and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

    Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.

    davep,

    @Island_Martha high praise indeed 😂

    juddlegum, to random
    @juddlegum@journa.host avatar

    Musk tried to trick people into believing that celebrities like @KingJames and @StephenKing paid for Twitter Blue.

    They did not and Musk got called out on it.

    Musk has now copped to it and admitted he has paid for James, King and a handful of others to keep their blue checks

    davep,

    @juddlegum he didn't "pay", he just got some underling to attribute them the blue tick.

    davep, to random

    My girlfriend dressed up as a saucy policewoman and told me I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed.

    After a short while all charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence.

    davep, to random

    Ego and superego walk into a bar.

    Barman says “I’m going to need to see some id”.

    dell, to random
    @dell@journa.host avatar

    Just got permanently suspended for publishing this story: https://www.wired.com/story/matt-walsh-twitter-hack-doomed

    davep,

    @dell let's see if it's just journalists Elmo's cancelling

    davep, to random

    I tried donating blood today. Never again, I'll tell you. So many questions! 'Why do you want to donate blood?' 'Whose blood is it?' 'Why is it in a bucket? '

    valeryan24, to random French
    @valeryan24@framapiaf.org avatar

    Bonjour, Wireshark n'existant pas sur Android, savez-vous comment faire pour intercepter les flux et voir ce qui est réellement envoyé vers Facebook et Google (NetGuard indique juste le domaine)?
    Bitdefender - le comble pour 1 appli de sécurité - embarque en effet leurs traceurs / sdk :
    https://twitter.com/BitdefenderFR/status/1230107732377772032?s=19
    Ils prétendent qu'aucune info privée ne filtre, mais Trainline nous a fait le même coup et certains avaient démontré que nos trajets complets (lieux, dates) partaient vers FB en + du login

    image/png
    image/png
    image/png

    davep,

    @valeryan24 Ce livre est très utile pour décrire comment capturer les données par un proxy SOCKS et cetera https://nostarch.com/networkprotocols

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