inkstainedmags

@inkstainedmags@mstdn.ca

Writer, editor and visual artist in Punamu'kwati'jk (Dartmouth, NS).

Weary and sweary.

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RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

I want to talk about Women's Pain. I've never had "good" periods, not since I was a teenager, but as I aged they got worse and worse. I was basically bedridden three days out of the month, and popping ibuprofen for a while after that too. I even got a prescription for Marijuana, because I knew the ibuprofen wasn't good for my stomach, and I needed something to ease the pain. Despite all of this, I just assumed that this was what it was like for most women.

I've always had a lot of anxiety about doctors, but it had ramped up since childhood. My Mom has been in and out of hospitals her whole life, and has had some pretty traumatic experiences. I watched my Dad die in an ER in front of me. But my best friend died suddenly of a preventable illness, and I decided I had to do better, regular Doctor visits was the top of the list, since I had only been going when I absolutely needed to. I casually mentioned to the doctor increased pain during periods and he (like a very good doctor) ordered an ultrasound just in case. This started months and months of tests and doctor visits, 4 ultrasounds, birth control pills that made me sick, an MRI, two different specialists, one of which let me know that I was a mess inside, but I would need surgery to find out exactly how, basically a nightmare. I was so ready to be done with it that when they said surgery I said Yes, immediately, I was so ready to be done. My surgeon was fantastic, but basically said they wouldn't know what the end result was be until they were in there could be just cyst removal, could be a total hysterectomy. In the end, they had to remove my right fallopian tube, right ovary, and some cysts, they also put in a Mirena IUD. I had endometriosis for years, and didn't realize it.

I tell this story, because in a way, I was lucky, my doctor believed me about my pain, but there are thousands more stories where Women's pain gets ignored by the medical establishment, they tell them they are just stressed and hysterical. The average endometriosis diagnosis takes about 7 years, because of this. Men get better care than women, period, and if you're a woman of color or LGBTQ, watch out, the stats are even worse for you. Men get treatment and pain management far more often and far quicker than women. And to top it all off, women are just told pain is normal and part of life from the time they are small children, your period will hurt, so will sex, pregnancy, menopause. We are expected to live in and accept pain our whole lives. Women don't have a higher pain tolerance than men, we are just expected to grin and bear it in a way Men simply are not.

So, final message, if something feels wrong, don't wait, go to the doctor, don't take no for an answer, if your doctor denies you, get another doctor. You know your body better than any other person, you deserve the best care for it, love yourself!

If you have any other advice for women, and dealing with the medical establishment, or just want to share a story, please feel free!

inkstainedmags,

@RickiTarr So much reproductive health info is utterly and completely centred around the few days we bleed and ignores the rest of the cycle, which is a literal roller coaster of hormones that impact different people in different ways.

3/3

inkstainedmags,

@RickiTarr there is not enough conversation about how the menstrual cycle affects mental health either.

I remember being in my teens and having my period and feeling like I'd rather die than deal with periods for the rest of my life.

In my 20s, I'd be in a bathroom stall trying to get a grip after an emotional eruption and then be like "Oh great and now I've got my period too."

In my 30s I'd be in the bathroom stall and go "Oooooh my period so that's why I've been feeling so intense.

1/2?

inkstainedmags,

@RickiTarr In my 40s I googled "why does my period make me suicidal?" and learned about menstrual disorders. Started tracking my period and boom - a clear pattern to my mood swings.

I spent almost 30 years burning bridges and hating myself because of mood swings, thinking I was just a horrible bitch when actually my hormones were fucking me up and making me feel out of control. Understanding what was happening made it infinitely easier to manage the symptoms.

2/3

inkstainedmags,

@Jennifer @APBBlue @RickiTarr Saaammmeee. Mine's night sweats, heart palpitations, brain fog and gut issues. Basically a panic response. To ovulating.

And, before I learned to recognise those things as they presented themselves, I also struggled badly with rage. They were quite bad for a bit and now I feel quite functional most of the time thanks entirely to stumbling across threads like this online.

inkstainedmags,

@Hey_Beth I went to a gynaecologist looking for help with debilitating, life-limiting perimenopause symptoms and she said to me:

"If I kept everyone like you on my list I wouldn't have time for people with real gynaecological issues."

inkstainedmags,

@MeeMee @Hey_Beth This was last November.

inkstainedmags,

@RickiTarr @APBBlue perimenopause has been awful for me but a few years in I feel like I've got the symptoms under control.

I tried SSRIs, the hormonal medicine we call birth control (which serves so many other purposes than birth control), but the drug that has worked for me with the most tolerable side effects is cannabis. I use it every day to keep the roller coaster and negative thought spiral at bay.

inkstainedmags,

@EllenInEdmonton @APBBlue @RickiTarr So in my late 30s I got breast cancer and in my early 40s I got pregnant and had a kid, and now I'm definitely in perimenopause so it's hard to unpick the root cause, but my symptoms in my 40s have been so. much. worse. Fortunately, though as I said, I finally learned coping mechanisms so I'm able to mange the symptoms before they blow up in the faces of my loved ones.

Tattooed_mummy, to random
@Tattooed_mummy@wandering.shop avatar

I'm being mansplained to on Facebook and it's the funniest thing ever. a guy is telling me how watches can't work without electricity, it's not possible even if they're wind up, that power needs to be stored in a battery. I'm trying to explain to him about springs, but he doesn't understand I'm dying 😂.

inkstainedmags,

@Tattooed_mummy this needs a tag

Rasta, to Black_cats

I think she's dying... 😢 And I'm crying. She hasn't stood up today, she smelled , and had her shower laying down.

She's nearly 18, once a tiny feral rescue, she always considered me her dad. Her eyes usually look in mine , and she winks

Her eyes never opened until now.

I've been rocking her in my arms wrapped up in a towel.

She moved once, then drifted away.. very listless.

If she doesn't pass without pain, I will have to consider putting her to sleep anyway.

inkstainedmags,

@Rasta sorry to hear that Rasta. I bet you've given her a sweet sweet life.

inkstainedmags,

@Rasta I'm sorry for your loss. Sounds like you gave her a good life and a loving ending.

Rasta, to random

Have you ever awakened, and not known where you were?

Just that one time in Bandcamp? 😉​

The air is still. It might be cool, if you could feel it, but with the window open, nothing comes in or goes out, just dead air. Really quiet too, except for the clickety click of the keyboard.

It's supposed to be quite warm today, and as much as I need this weather for work, my wife has other ideas.

We're going to pick Cranberries today.

Maybe see bears or find mushrooms?

inkstainedmags,

@Rasta yeah, not the sole reason I'm itching to go. Basically, I always want to be there but I'm still wearing my husband down. I got him from London to a small UK city, then to Dartmouth... give me a few more years.

inkstainedmags,

@Rasta now this has me itching to get to CB and check on the patch!

inkstainedmags,

@Rasta I'd like to know more about picking cranberries! I know a spot in cape breton where loads of them grow but I don't know anything about harvesting or preserving them.

inkstainedmags,

@Rasta today a group of friends are coming over for the monthly batch cook of a meal for Out of the Cold (beef stew and apple-rhubarb crumble for 26) so maybe a Sunday drive. I have recently been telling my Welsh bloke that we should explore the Eastern Shore 🤔​

Speaking of longest highway, once in my 20s - before google maps - I decided on a whim to drive from CB to HRM via Guysborough. Saw a lot of the #7 during that unplanned 7.5 hour journey!

Cassandra, to random
@Cassandra@autistics.life avatar

Couple minor improvements lately.

I moved the top shelf in the refrigerator down one. It has been bugging me for a teenage number of months that tall containers didn't fit comfortably anywhere. A nuisance to extract and replace every time and I did nothing about it until this week. Some of this is trauma and also fuck you fucking executive function, fuck.

(It is a huge relief. Consider making a minor improvement today!)

inkstainedmags,

@Cassandra I dusted the bedroom for the first time in ... well, I'm not sure exactly. Possibly all year? There was quite a layer. I'm curious to see if there's any change to the 3am congestion I've been experiencing lately.

inkstainedmags, to random

I recently texted a friend two questions.
1: "have you read any #OctaviaButler?"
2: "Can you recommend any good reading on community organizing?"

To Q1, she replied "no".
For Q2 she recommended a book she hasn't read but that everyone she knows seems to be reading: Emergent Strategy.

I looked it up. The first line of the book description says "Inspired by Octavia Butler..." (friend did not know this)

If you are a Butler devotee, I highly recommend it https://www.akpress.org/emergentstrategy.html

inkstainedmags, to random

Hello mstdn.ca I just moved here from HalifaxSocial.ca and I think I messed up - am I right that now that my account is redirecting I can't get back to any of my content in the other account? I thought I'd have a chance to migrate my follows, copy my filters etc. Is that all now lost to the mists of time?

inkstainedmags, to random

I just read three quarters of Foundation by and there hasn't been a female character yet.

inkstainedmags, to random

Yesterday when our flight landed and we were waiting to deplane I asked my 7yo to check around his seat to make sure he had all his stuff. A minute later he pops up with a big grin and says:

"I got all my stuff AND I found a sour patch kid!"

You guys. He ATE a sour patch kid he found on the floor of the airplane.

We did not bring any sour patch kids with us on the flight.

inkstainedmags, to Halifax

The "we own our kids" signs tell you a lot about how conservatives view other people - not as autonomous individuals but as props and property on the sets of their lives.

inkstainedmags, to random

"If women would just say what they mean using the right combination of words in the right place at the right time in the right pitch, tone and volume using appropriate body language and demeanour while wearing the right clothes and doing their hair and makeup just so, men wouldn'...

inkstainedmags, to Montreal

Remembering the 14 women of who, on this day in 1989, were killed by a sad little misogynist who was too fragile to cope with the fact that they got into engineering school and he didn't.

inkstainedmags, to Halifax

Hey #Halifax seventeen municipal boards are currently looking for volunteers.

Including:

  • accessibility advisory committee
  • police board of commissioners
  • women's advisory committee

Apply by 30 November.

#CommunityBuilding #HRM #NovaScotia
https://www.halifax.ca/city-hall/boards-committees-commissions/volunteer-boards-committees

inkstainedmags, to random

Your annual reminder that the flattened more than 2.5 square kilometres of the city on 6 December 1917 and by March 1918 the city built 832 emergency homes for the

https://archives.novascotia.ca/explosion/

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