@mardigroan@mas.to
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mardigroan

@mardigroan@mas.to

My writing's been found on food shopping lists & mini golf scores.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

Saltssaltgirl, to random
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I’m not sure why my friends & family think I’m in charge of the calendar, but I’ll be apologizing for it anyway, because today is my birthday, it’s Teacher’s Appreciation Week, & Mother’s Day is Sunday.

mardigroan,
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@Saltssaltgirl happy birthday!! 🎁

BlackAzizAnansi, to random
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Who is your celebrity arch enemy?

mardigroan,
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@BlackAzizAnansi

John Cusack, Susan Sarandon, and Mark Ruffalo.

mardigroan, to random
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Maybe they call it a beaver moon because, when you see it, you'll go "dam!"

mardigroan, to random
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The name Rufus means "He who lives up on the roof."

mardigroan, to random
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Server: What kind of bagel would you like?

Lauren Hill: Everything is everything.

mardigroan, to random
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Roger Waters is the Kanye West of Mel Gibsons.

mardigroan, to random
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If your store sells carpet and tile and you're not advertising a July Floor-th sale then what are you even doing?

mardigroan, to random
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Someone who studies huffs, exhales, pffts, and the like, is called a sigh-entist.

mardigroan, to random
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I don't care if Hunter Biden was farting the Star-Spangled banner while riding a unicycle and blowing bubbles through a tuba. He's not part of the administration like money grifter Jared and Ivanka were. So stop your jibber jabber!

mardigroan, to random
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Keep your friend's toast and your enemy's toaster.

mardigroan, to random
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People seem to care more about temperamental talk show hosts than truly evil billionaires.

mardigroan, to random
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The cat acts like I'm interfering as she plays with a toy but that's my phone charger!

mardigroan, to random
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Squirrels are out there without a sweater.

mardigroan, to random
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Luke, I am your uncle.
Luke, I am your third cousin.
Luke, I am your grandmother.

  • Skywalker family reunion
mardigroan, to random
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While removing a cat hair from my phone screen I accidentally closed three windows, downloaded two apps, made an unwanted Amazon purchase, and texted my boss a Chuck Norris meme.

mardigroan, to random
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mardigroan, to random
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Will I be able to appreciate MMMBop if I haven't heard every song from AAABop through LLLBop?

mardigroan, to random
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At Ellis Island many immigrants shortened their last names to make it easier to place take out orders at restaurants.

mardigroan, to random
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When you are negotiating and you agree to terms that the other side hasn't even seen or considered that is not accepting a deal that is called making a new proposal.

mardigroan, to random
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MAGA extremists to the right of me, Hamas cheerleaders to the left(?), here I am, still in the middle with Joe.

mardigroan, to random
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Had a reason to wake up super early today. So don't expect me to have a really effective day fighting crime in Gotham City.

mardigroan, to random
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The instructions say to place the burrito on one microwave safe plate and to put another microwave safe plate on top of it before heating. Were these instructions written by big dishwasher?

mardigroan, to random
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I'm so good at sleeping I could do it with my eyes closed.

mardigroan, to random
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  • finishing late lunch and still calling that other place Twitter *
mardigroan, to random
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Ancient curse, may you try your old login three times and get locked out for suspicious login attempts before remembering you changed your password.

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