silverhuang

@silverhuang@mastodon.social

Mentor for people who sense, feel and think in unique ways.

Iโ€™ve moved! ๐Ÿš› Iโ€™m now โ€ชhttps://kind.social/@silverhuang at kind.social. See you there! ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿผ

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

26pglt, (edited ) to actuallyadhd
@26pglt@mastodon.au avatar

Hey pals, this looks interesting! Online summit (not sure what that means!) on , grooming & coercive control. 27.11 to 1.12. Free.

@actuallyautistic @allautistics @actuallyadhd

Via Ann Memmot on BlueSky

https://ndconnection.co.uk/gccsummit2023

silverhuang,

@26pglt @actuallyautistic @allautistics @actuallyadhd An online summit is usually a large educational event held online through web conferencing software. They do vary though. Some are non-participatory, i.e. you just view the presentation, but often you can ask questions via text chat. Others involve group activities, like break-out group discussions. Always good to check before joining!

Private
silverhuang,

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic My partner and I call it state change difficulties. It can be as simple as the both of us playing a game for the past two hours, and I suddenly remember we need to get groceries now because the shops are closing in a few hours. WHAM! We suddenly have to state change on multiple levels. Sedentary to mobile, inside to outside, executive function from offline to online, etc. It is difficult every single time. ๐Ÿ˜ต Yet it is "justโ€ shopping!

Private
silverhuang,

@ahrimans_erbe @actuallyautistic It depends on my energy levels. If Iโ€™m not doing well, I struggle because battery power is rerouted from the internal โ€œprogramsโ€ that I have to manually control things like my facial expressions, body language, vocal tone, etc. to cognitively processing language syntax.

Private
silverhuang,

@independentpen @actuallyautistic If youโ€™re also going to be in an office space with others, consider that you may be sensitive to everyoneโ€™s vibe, sound, movement, etc. Start there because being overwhelmed can derail anything else you plan.

I suspect, if youโ€™re like most of us, your issue will be doing too much, too fast, too well! This may sound weird, but consider doing less for a start, simply because thatโ€™s more measurable. This may help energy management.

silverhuang,

@independentpen @actuallyautistic Iโ€™ve found toilet cubicles to be the most consistently reliable, safe place for me to take breaks to decompress, but that depends on whether public toilets feel safe and comfortable for you, too.

silverhuang,

@independentpen @actuallyautistic Oh, I hear you about not knowing how to slow down or do less! Fun story: One time, I spent a week designing a program, and the people I tested it on said, โ€œGood, but cut it back 50%; too detailed, people wonโ€™t follow.โ€ So I spent 6 hours next time. โ€œGreat! Cut it back to 2%!โ€ I came home and raged. ๐Ÿ˜…

My partner struggles with this at work, too, and his trick is to tell himself to be LAZY. I kid you not! It works. Kind of. ๐Ÿ˜›

silverhuang,

@independentpen @actuallyautistic ๐Ÿ˜ข I'm so sorry to hear that! ๐Ÿซ‚ Yes, indeed. I hope you are able to have some quiet time now to decompress.

silverhuang,

@independentpen @actuallyautistic Ooh, haha, that question requires an essay. From my brain, anyway. The issue is differences in definitions and intentions of usage of the word. You and I probably define โ€œlazyโ€ as failing to meet the minimum required standards. But โ€œlazyโ€ can also be used manipulatively.

Perhaps you can get clear on the minimum standards required from your role and meet those only as a start and re-assess over time.

Private
silverhuang,

@clouddweller @actuallyautistic Absolutely! We experience, process and express things (well, everything ๐Ÿคฃ) differently from most.

Unless a person has exposure to a variety of experiences and expressions, they can only understand it from their own limited context. If what they witness falls into their cultural bucket of โ€œdat not good, โ€œ that's usually how they'll respond.

Unfortunately, openness and curiosity are not valued and taught much in our world.

silverhuang,

@GreenRoc @clouddweller @actuallyautistic Weird as it seems to say, we are allowed to worry people! We can take up space, and impacting others (within reason) is human. The only way not to affect anything or anyone is to reduce ourselves to nothingness. The only thing that doesnโ€™t affect anything is nothing. Itโ€™s so dehumanising.

Getting older is definitely helpful. We give less of a ****. Fill with your preferred four-letter word, profane, profound or otherwise. ๐Ÿ˜

silverhuang,

@CynAq @clouddweller @actuallyautistic @GreenRoc I did fear that this kind of communal psychological safety is becoming rare, so I, too, am so grateful to be here!

It can do WONDERS to support our healing from years, decades, of repeated traumas. We know the power of a single kind word or gesture, but it has an accumulative effect when repeated by many people over time.

It shows our nervous system that safety IS possible, and that is so, so powerful. โค๏ธ

Private
silverhuang,

@passis @actuallyautistic Clarity. Our dedication to clarity is what I believe drives our dedication towards themes like authenticity, ethics, congruence, justice, etc. This is definitely one of our major traits that sets us apart for it drives why we care and how hard we care for things that seem invisible or negligible to others unlike us.

Autistrain, to actuallyautistic

I don't know if I already wrote about this psychologist. I met a psychologist, and we talked about autism and what it's to be . It was really nice with good arguments. The psychologist didn't judge autists and wanted to learn about us. When we came to language, I talked about neuro-affirmaive language and how it's moving in this domain. We see more and more papers about it. I didn't receive any objection from this therapist. Better, the therapist asked me to send to it the paper and references, so he could have sources and learn.

We can meet pleasant people who as the will to learn and don't say that they know better because of an academic diploma.

@actuallyautistic @neurodiversity

silverhuang,

@Autistrain @actuallyautistic @neurodiversity That is beautiful; thank you for sharing it! Finding a therapist who is curious and humble enough to learn is rare, and the rest of us need to know that they DO exist out there! Even though the journey to find them is often hard, it still gives us hope.

silverhuang, to actuallyautistics

@actuallyautistics @allautistics @autistic.me@a.gup.pe

Iโ€™ve been following, enjoying and learning so much from the conversations in these groups for a while now ๐Ÿ™‡๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ feeling like a kid trying to figure out the best time to step onto the escalator ๐Ÿ˜… because digital public conversations overwhelm me. ๐Ÿ˜ตโ€๐Ÿ’ซ

So, I decided to take a step anyway. ๐Ÿ‘Ÿ Hopefully, I have joined the escalator without face-planting or getting my shoe caught (yup, I did that before). Hello everyone! ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

dangoodin, to random

A reminder that Mastodon has no algorithm that pushes posts favorited by others. This is a fundamental difference with the way Twitter works. If you like a toot and want others to see it, the best way to do that is to boost. Favoriting a post helps the author know you liked it but doesn't do much more.

silverhuang,

@dangoodin As someone still learning Fediverseโ€™s/Mastodonโ€™s social best practices, Iโ€™ve been worried that boosting too much (I see a lot I want to boost, particularly smaller accounts and accounts from marginalised groups) will flood my followers, especially if theyโ€™re not always related to my own themes. I am also mindful that my community/followers can struggle with data/sensory overload from their timelines. Are there any general guidelines or recommendations regarding this?

silverhuang,

@seachanger @dangoodin I block boosts on my own timeline, but I was concerned about other Fediverse users who may not know how to, especially those less comfortable with technology.

Hmmmโ€ฆ maybe I can pin a post with some for new followers to help those who may not be aware, so they can better manage their timelines too, more education and awareness!

silverhuang, to random

@MonaApp Small question: Iโ€™ve noticed a limit to how many trending posts are shown on Mona compared to Mastodonโ€™s web interface, where I can continue to scroll-reveal seemingly infinitely. Is this intended?

There have been times Iโ€™ve wanted to find something I saw but didnโ€™t bookmark, but I am limited on Mona as to how far I can scroll back and have to revert to the web interface.

I love your app; itโ€™s enabled me to engage with the fediverse without being overwhelmed! โค๏ธ Thanks!

Private
silverhuang,

@AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic Ha, I feel seen!

Others: Waltzing into a room on a breeze, wafting perfume in their wake, nodding and smiling sagely to everyone as they pass.

Me: Face planted so hard against the window pane, the glass breaks and I stumble-smash through, trip and somehow end up in the punchbowl, backwards.

Jokes aside, in public spaces, I often err on the side of saying less and spending more time listening to attune to the flow as best I can.

silverhuang,

@sentient_water @markusl @Susan60 @jyrgenn @AutisticAdam @actuallyautistic After years of unintentionally overwhelming one another, my partner and I now have a system where we can signal a stop to one another when we seriously canโ€™t handle a verbal info dump, and a private Twist chat channel where we can info dump whatever whenever because the other person can read at their own time and reading is often easier for us!

feditips, to random
@feditips@mstdn.social avatar

Many, many people have asked about error messages when using mastodon.social.

Mastodon.social is far too large. Its massive size causes errors, and threatens the long term safety of the whole Fediverse.

I strongly encourage people on mastodon.social to move their account to another server.

You can find reliable servers on the official site at https://joinmastodon.org/servers or my own recommended list at https://fedi.garden

Here's a step-by-step guide for moving: https://fedi.tips/transferring-your-mastodon-account-to-another-server/

silverhuang,

@iamdavidobrien @feditips Maybe consider a general server rather than topic-specific ones? Based on my (limited) understanding, general servers (like mastodon.social) are open to a wide variety of topics so long as they abide by the serverโ€™s rules and countryโ€™s laws.

helvetica, (edited ) to random
@helvetica@mastodon.gamedev.place avatar

Well if you were wondering why Google search sucks so bad the answer is really something โ€”

EDIT: hm well after some time it doesnโ€™t seem like this article is exactly true. Sorry about that! Should not have boosted

https://www.wired.com/story/google-antitrust-lawsuit-search-results/

silverhuang,

@helvetica I have tried MetaGer and Qwant and explored some of the others listed here: https://restoreprivacy.com/private-search-engine/

Iโ€™ve been using Brave Search. Itโ€™s worked well enough, but I strongly disagree with the founderโ€™s values and actions regarding LGBTQ and COVID, so I am not fully happy with my choice.

Maybe we can no longer rely on a convenient one-stop shop and have to go back to doing multiple searches on multiple engines. Federation, but for search? ๐Ÿ˜› (tongue-in-cheek, ya)

feditips, to random
@feditips@mstdn.social avatar

Is there something about Mastodon and the Fediverse that you need help with?

Reply to me or send me a DM and I'll try to help if I can, or put you in touch with someone else who can help.

Don't worry if a question seems silly or obvious! The idea of this account is to especially help new people.

silverhuang,

@lil_meow_meow @feditips

+1 to this question, please! ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿผ

juergen_hubert, to mastodon
@juergen_hubert@thefolklore.cafe avatar

I've seen a lot of voices saying that " does not need to grow to be successful", and "we don't need to put in more effort to welcome new users", and frankly this attitude is pissing me off.

"The reason that social media did not work as promised is not because we misunderstood the nature of the internet and the possibilities of digital connectivity, but because oligarchs took over the digital space."

If there is any chance of using social media as a force for democracy, we desperately need a system that cannot be taken over by the oligarchs. And, right now, the is the best candidate for this.

Thus, there is homework that needs to be done. We cannot just rest on our laurels and proclaim that the tech is already good enough, and that the tech approach somehow magically solves all the problems of other social media platforms. We need to get away from the overwhelmingly white male European/North American user base and look for ways on how to increase user participation - not to mention participation of users from Asia, Africa, and South America.

If we try to maintain the Fediverse as the home of a small, incestuous group of people with a particular tech slant, the oligarchs will win.

https://www.vox.com/world-politics/23896050/protest-decade-2010-revolutionary-handbook-vincent-bevins-arab-spring-brazil-occupy-hong-kong

silverhuang,

@juergen_hubert Self-centredness makes us vulnerable to people who can exploit our apathy's root causes to drive us further apart. Divided, we will fall because technology is only the medium of connection.

The connection needs first come from within us, the people who populate the platforms, and connection requires much effort. How do we educate others to see beyond the limited frame of "meโ€ and thus be willing to spend extra time and energy towards a broader sense of โ€œweโ€?

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