Why is the onion one of the most mature takes on the Internet? Is it strange that cynicism sounds level headed in our era?
“we should remember that unpacking this conflict in an adequately thorough manner would require examining it through a diverse range of lenses such as antisemitism, Islamic fundamentalism, the Holocaust, imperialism, contact theory, and many more, all while keeping in mind valid but competing narratives of victimhood that span hundreds of years.”
Humor and comedy have always been able to say things too risky to be said in any other way.
Supposedly, the role of a fool or clown or jester in a monarch’s court was to fulfill this function. Say things everyone else was too terrified to say to the king.
There are ways to purify your own water, as long as the contaminants aren't from something like nuclear, biological or chemical warfare. Subsistence farming is a LOT harder.
I wish I had the patience to go and post this in reply to every tankie I've seen today defending the "honour" of this piece of shit in the name of Iranians who they've convinced themselves they can speak for (yet somehow never speak up for their best interests, only in defence of their "great leaders" interests, curious.. 🤔🙄).
To my understanding this means historically a western communist who supported the USSR’s interventions (with tanks, hence the name) in Eastern European countries (Hungary, Czechoslovakia, maybe also East Germany) when the Warsaw Pact was a thing. More broadly someone who thinks the Soviet Union was a good regime.
From what I’ve been told, it originally was communist countries that use tanks against their people (like Tienanmen Square). It’s getting muddled by the countries that use tanks against their people, so I don’t know what it has become.
Tankies are people who claim to be communists, but who exclusively support authoritarians and their oppressive regimes, past and present, because these authoritarians call themselves communists (think believing Nazis were socialists because it was in their party name), even though their actions have nothing at all to do with communism, and fascists co-opting leftist language to gain power being a well documented phenomenon.
It's pretty easy to tell really: if a project is/was stateless, classless, and moneyless - congratulations, it's almost certainly communism, and those who support it are communists (or possibly one of several varieties of anarchist, like myself).
However if one or any of those conditions aren't met, and/or there is a single dictator or a small group of cronies holding on to power claiming they've been met, but the reality is clearly different - congratulations, you basically have run of the mill fascism on your hands and those who support it are tankies (who, as I pointed out in OP, almost always speak up and in defence of a "dear leader" but never in defence of the people themselves, because all they care about is the regime, not the people living under it).
In the case of the fediverse, there are a couple of dedicated instances almost exclusively occupied by tankies, who have made it their goal to essentially troll and brigade anyone who doesn't agree with their, frankly bizarre, views (calling it "dialectics" to make themselves feel better). They're generally easy to avoid though, by blocking individuals, or their entire instance.
The only regret of the people of Iran and the families of the survivors of the horrific crimes committed by the mercenaries of reaction and tyranny, over the death of Ebrahim Raisi, is that the opportunity for his historic trial in the not-too-distant future has been lost.
Right, and they call anyone who disagrees with them, even actual communists, "McCarthyists" 🤦♀️🤦♀️
Seriously though, anyone who sees any reason whatsoever for communists to support the Iranian government mustn't have a single fucking clue what communism is about.. They're a fucking joke (if only they didn't go around giving leftists such a bad name)..
That's a fantastic, and not at all surprising piece of information though, thanks for sharing!
Honestly though this is one car system Tesla might be able to get close to having no team of their own.
The brakes on all their cars are designed and supplied by Brembo. Tesla certainly has some people making sure they’ll fit. But that step is only needed when a new model is being designed. Once the model launches Tesla can make a quality person (lol) work with Brembo on any revisions.
Edit - if not clear I agree with you and am wondering if The Onion is predicting the future again.
Insist on doing everything through “channels.” Never permit short-cuts to be taken in order to expedite decisions.
Make “speeches.” Talk as frequently as possible and at great length. Illustrate your “points” by long anecdotes and accounts of personal experiences. Never hesitate to make a few appropriate “patriotic” comments.
When possible, refer all matters to committees, for “further study and consideration.” Attempt to make the committees as large as possible—never less than five.
Bring up irrelevant issues as frequently as possible.
Haggle over precise wordings of communications, minutes, resolutions.
Refer back to matters decided upon at the last meeting and attempt to re-open the question of the advisability of that decision.
Advocate “caution.” Be “reasonable” and urge your fellow-conferees to be “reasonable” and avoid haste which might result in embarrassments or difficulties later on.
Be worried about the propriety of any decision—raise the question of whether such action as is contemplated lies within the jurisdiction of the group or whether it might conflict with the policy of some higher echelon.-
The best part is by publishing this far and wide, anybody pushing for “careful consideration” and actual reasoned planning is immediately suspect, which leads to less reasoned decisions, which usually means more mistakes. If a victory is somehow won through violence of action and not careful planning, the support structure isn’t there to maintain the victory, nor are the people who win that victory well-suited to careful planning before the next engagement. The boring stuff is often what wins wars, simple things like plenty of fuel, adequate hygiene facilities, and dry socks can literally mean the difference between a division surrendering or winning a battle.
“The ostracizing looks I get while patrolling drag brunches with my AR-15 make me feel like a second-class citizen.”
“They’re always rubbing the silence of an indifferent universe into our faces.”
“They mind their own business, which is super passive-aggressive.”
“Sometimes I just want to walk up to these counterprotesters and say, ‘Let people live their lives.’”
“They won’t even let us burn all their books!”
“They cynically use basic logic and rational thought to make me question my deeply held beliefs, knowing full well I don’t want to do that.”
“Atheists have oppressed us to the point where I can only practice my religion at home, at church, at city council meetings, with my family, at work, in my car, with friends, at the mall, and in public parks.”
“Anyone existing in a different way is harmful to me somehow.”
The Onion is getting lazy. They’re supposed to be writing satire, but they are just getting quotes from actual Christians.
The Onion, if you're reading this, you have to be prepared at a moment's notice to publish a follow-up to this article, from the same author, which simply says, "I'm finally dead."
Small detail some might miss, one of the editorial board signatures is Ted Kaczynski.
Brilliant paragraph:
“What of the tens of thousands of Palestinian civilians killed before this attack?” some may ask. Our response is simply that we aren’t going to engage with that because it would be too hard. We also won’t be addressing Palestinians living in refugee camps without access to clean water, electricity, or housing. Others may ask, “Isn’t it your responsibility to provide context, particularly on thorny issues such as this one?” To that, we merely say: No, shut up. You’re being annoying.
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