Anyway - enough of all that. I've just realised I know / have met 3 people who claim not only to have met Elton John, but are friends with him. And the funny thing is that I don't believe any of them. I'm prepared to accept I might be wrong, but I do wonder if Elton John is in that sweet spot for people fond of telling porkies, where he's super famous but also seems accessible. Like would anyone here believe me if I said I know Elton (didn't even use his last name, just like I don't when we hang out)?
@TheBreadmonkey
I’ve always been horrible at remembering names. There were people I worked in the same office with for 10 or 20 years whose name I never remembered. When I passed them in a hallway I’d just call them sir, or ma’am. There were neighbors we’d lived near for 40 years and I got away with the same trick.
@TheBreadmonkey
I lucked out and married when we were 20, 50 years ago. The first time I saw her after we’d met, I couldn’t remember her name. I’d have been abysmal at dating. (Not that I didn’t have other issues too.)
@TheBreadmonkey Elton John could be like me where I never remember anyone's name so, when they approach and say "Hi Alice!" and I respond with my typical cop out of "Hi, friend!" it probably makes everyone think we're friends even though I don’t even care enough to try to remember their name.
I've taken to doing this thing where I just tell people I can't remember their name or if we've met before. I did it at a party recently and the person said we've met like three times. I don't think it's fair to ambush people in that way. I think if someone is honest enough to say they don't remember you, you should be gracious enough to pretend it's the first time meeting. Even in a workplace environment. Or do something that makes you immediately memorable. Like a special jig or placing both hands on my shoulders, staring directly into my eyes and chanting your name over and over again at steadily increasing volume.
Them: Is your name Alice?
Me: Yes...?
Them: Alice from Mastodon?
Me: I’m on Mastodon, but there are a lot of Alices on Mastodon.
Them: I follow you!
Me: Oh, cool! What's your name on there?
Them: [some name I already forgot because I’m terrified of people and was half-blacking out from the interaction alone]
Me: Nice to meet you, [forgotten name], I'll see you on Mastodon!
@blueorangeblue@TheBreadmonkey Also, if this was you and you are seeing this, I'm sorry. I would tell you that it's because I am a very awkward person, but I’m pretty sure you already figured that out during our IRL encounter.
I will tell you all now, if you ever meet me in real life, I do not understand how normal people are supposed to behave and just do whatever pops into my head at the time. I was in a pub and a man dropped his scarf. I picked it up and as I handed it back to him he leant in to say thanks and I hugged him. I have TWICE panicked at women doing double face kiss and done four face kisses. Imagine that.... Left, right, left again, right again, panicked look in eyes. I've done that twice. Which leads me to believe it might not be the last time and it could happen again. I don't know how to shake hands and people seem to do it for far too long so I do a firm one-pump and out, but as I withdraw my hand, theirs continues to hold onto mine as I pull it towards me. I don't like being touched by strangers and everyone hugs now so I just hug to get it over with, but I recently did that in a situation with someone I didn't know, to say HELLO, and it was weird and uncomfortable.
@TheBreadmonkey@blueorangeblue Okay, now I legitimately want to have a mastodon meetup just so we can film how weird the entire thing is and then release it on some bullshit streaming service like Tubi or Crackle.
@ColesStreetPothole@rooster@glasspusher@TheBreadmonkey@Alice@blueorangeblue
Honestly, as an elder gentleman who has spent time attending to even elder-er gentlemen in an assisted living environment who have incontinence issues, it is something I am sensitive to. So, yeah, I guess it might.
But it’s my fault for looking closer at the image, inspecting for camel-toe.
@ColesStreetPothole
I’m sure it’s all washable. But, tbh, and I really don’t want to harp on it, if it’s polyester or some other synthetic fabric, urine stains are really hard to remove. I suppose a proper life goal would be to reach an age and a sensibility where one doesn’t care about it any more. My FiL had reached that plateau by age 96. A sort of zen thing, maybe. @rooster@glasspusher@TheBreadmonkey@Alice@blueorangeblue
@TheBreadmonkey@blueorangeblue I'd also like to do little private interview sessions leading up to the meetup. Like, Ben in his running club and making vegan food for his family. Charming and charismatic as ever.
Then an immediate cut to the meetup where he meets @LRRRonEarth and panics and starts climbing him like he's a mechanical bull.
@LRRRonEarth :ablobcateyesflip: please don't eat me. I am best served unconsumed.
@Alice I literally worry so much about meeting someone real. I imagine the meeting would go, Them: "Alex?!"
Me: pee's a little "Perhaps?"
Them: "From Mastodon?"
Me: :blobcat0_0: :blobcatghost:
Them: "Oh God! Does anyone know CPR! Someone call 999!" (in this scenario, the person is from the UK which makes things more complicated)
@Alice@TheBreadmonkey@blueorangeblue I’ll be the guy, at arrival, or any unveiling or other communally tense moment, belting out “Happy Birthday!” or “Merry Christmas!” or some such. I know WHY we’re there, I’ve just in my anticipation, momentarily spaced on the title of the event.
I’m a barrel of monkeys at surprise parties.
@TheBreadmonkey@Alice@blueorangeblue I once used my left hand to shake because my right was still wet from washing something and the guy was so impressed saying "How did you know I was a lefty? And that I have a thing about using the right hand to shake?" I didn't, obviously but I took the credit of being a mind reader. 😂
What is a wasp? I've always thought it sounds faintly racisty but have never thought to look it up. As you're saying it I assume it can't be, but I just don't know. Is it an acronym for something? Wrecked And Shitting Pennies. Wonderful Angler, Salmon Pond. Weasel Ant Scorpion Pony. I could go on.
@Kierkegaanks@TheBreadmonkey I thought the P was for Protestant? To me WASP is used in a derogatory way to imply the person is an asshole from a long line of assholes
@tayfonay@Kierkegaanks@TheBreadmonkey
This. I've always heard it as "protestant," and used as a derogatory term. (In USA & Canada, I've never heard it here.) I see it as the "yankee" equivalent of "inbred redneck fuck" or "cast of Deliverance."
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