historyshapes

@historyshapes@mastodon.social

An absurdist comic strip romp through time.

Dark jokes. Dumb gags. Mature audiences 🔞

💌 Cartoon roundup emailed monthly
✨ Join the History Shapes Club for free books, goodies

🤖 Random DMs blocked
✌️ Posts deleted ~2 months
👀 Social graph is hidden

Written and drawn by merton dot (he/him/his).

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

historyshapes, to history

☀️ My Heart Goes Out to the Aztecs ❤️

BONUS PANEL[S] ⬇️
https://www.historyshapes.com/my-heart-goes-out-to-the-aztecs/

@comicstrips
@histodons

#History #Histodons #Comics #ComicStrip #WebComic #DarkHumor #Cartoon #Aztec #WorldHistory #Funny

Panel 1 - Mel, an orange pentagon holding a large knife, runs toward Sam, a red circle, who is holding an Aztec Calendar stone. "Sam, I just saw the temple. Guess what the Aztecs do to appease Huitzilopochtli the god of the sun?"
Panel 2 - Mel waves her knife. "They rip people's hearts out!"
Panel 3 - Sam ponders. "Well, I suppose it could be worse."
Panel 4 - A closeup on Sam. He's upset. "...they could date you for six months first..."

historyshapes,

@MisterNeon Of course! I loved learning about the Aztec culture while making this comic.

I listed some resources I used on the click-through link. Thanks for your reply.

-mert.

historyshapes, to history

💰The Fruit of All Evil🍍

NEW COMIC ⬇️
https://www.historyshapes.com/the-fruit-of-all-evil/

Dom feels the pain of 18th century status anxiety...over pineapples.

[[Boosts 🆗]]

@comics
@histodons

#History #Histodons #Comics #Cartoons #Webtoon #ComicStrip #DarkHumor #Funny #Webcomic #Pineapple #18thCentury #1700s

A silent film style title card that reads "When last we saw The History Shapes, Dom and Terry were in 18th century Europe where pineapples were carried around by the mega-rich to flaunt their wealth at social events."

historyshapes, to history

The latest installment of Shop Talk is here.

This time around I talk:

-pineapples in the 1500s 🍍

  • punching up a joke over 5+ years 🗓️
  • the 1960s era Gag-Master wheel
  • early 20th century Jazz 🎺
  • and more...❤️

www.historyshapes.com/shop-talk-4-11-24/

Shop Talk is a fortnightly blog that shares how I do my thing - exclusively for History Shapes Club members.

Thank you to everyone who reads and supports the cartoon.

-mert.

@comics

A banner for Shop Talk. Sam, a red circle, gets a good look at the copy "Shop Talk with mert" and suddenly grows ill.

historyshapes, to history

An oldie-but-goodie from the History Shapes Time Capsule: ⬇️
https://www.historyshapes.com/tag/time-capsule/

@comics
@histodons

historyshapes, to history

The History Shapes have a little heart to heart with Huītzilōpōchtli, the god of the sun ❤️‍🔥

NEW COMIC ⬇️
https://www.historyshapes.com/my-heart-goes-out-to-the-aztecs/

@comics

A comic strip panel. Mel, an orange pentagon carrying a large knife, runs excitedly toward Sam, a red circle holding an Aztec Calendar Stone. Mel: "Sam! I just saw the temple! Guess what the Aztecs do to appease Huītzilōpōchtli, the god of the sun?"

historyshapes, to history

☀️ My Heart Goes Out to the Aztecs ❤️

NEW COMIC ⬇️
https://www.historyshapes.com/my-heart-goes-out-to-the-aztecs/

Sam's heart is on a platter while exploring the ancient #Aztec Empire ❤️‍🔥

[[Boosts 🆗 ]]

@comics
@histodons

#History #Histodons #Comics #Cartoons #ComicStrip #DarkHumor #DarkJokes #AztecEmpire #Funny #WebComic

A comic panel in the style of a silent film title card. It flickers slightly with white text on a black screen. Mel, an orange pentagon, and Sam, a red circle both appear. "When last we saw The History Shapes, Mel and Sam were exploring the ancient Aztec Empire..."

historyshapes, to history

☀️ My Heart Goes Out to the Aztecs ❤️

NEW COMIC ⬇️
https://www.historyshapes.com/my-heart-goes-out-to-the-aztecs/

Sam is a ray of sunshine while he and Mel explore the ancient #Aztec Empire...:heart_fire:

@histodons
@comics

#History #Histodons #Comics #Cartoons #ComicStrip #DarkHumor #Aztecs #AztecEmpire #Funny

Title card for the comic strip "My Heart Goes Out to the Aztecs." Golden letters spell "AZTECS" and sparkle while Sam (a red circle) holds a calendar stone.

historyshapes, to history

After some time off from a gnarly case of tendonitis, the Shop Talk blog is back with a new post for History Shapes Club members.

This time around I talk:

  • building comic strips
  • ancient Aztec color palettes
  • silent film title cards
  • and more...❤️

Thanks for everyone who reads and supports the cartoon.

-mert.

@comics
@histodons

#History #Histodons #Comics #Cartoons #ComicStrip #DarkHumor #Process #MakingComics

A banner for Shop Talk. Copy reads "Shop Talk with mert," and features Mel. She's an orange pentagon waving a knife, because she loves stabbing Nazis.

historyshapes, to history

🩸 A Killing In The Market 📈

(or)

that time in the 1820s when war was traded openly on the stock market 💀

New comic ⬇️
https://www.historyshapes.com/a-killing-in-the-market/

@histodons

historyshapes, to history

Fishing for that taste of #summer? ☀️

Get the scoop on Ambergris Ice Cream, the stankiest treat from the #1660s 🍦

Read more:
https://www.historyshapes.com/ambergris-ice-cream/

An excerpt from The History Shapes Cookbook, a 24 page, full-color, illustrated and DRM free ebook. Pay what feels good ❤️

@bookstodon @histodons

#History #Histodons #IceCream #1600s #Ambergris #FoodHistory #DidYouKnow #DYK #TIL #TodayILearned #Illustration #Comics #Cartoons #Comedy #Funny #DRM #Ebook

historyshapes, to history

-- November 17th was the 160th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln's initial draft of the 🎩

@histodons

historyshapes, to blackfriday

I worked too many years in retail to get down with or . The horrors that I've seen...😳

That's why my free are reasonably priced the whole year. As in "pay whatever feels good," reasonably priced ❤️

If you need a cheap chuckle this weekend grab a copy of The History Shapes Cookbook. It's easily the world's worst cookbook 🤢

https://buy.stripe.com/28o03534y39sfMQfYZ

historyshapes, to history

Members of the History Shapes Club randomly get bonus cartoons and art.

Like "Franklin Quest." A video game mockup about the life of ahem leisure lead by

The History Shapes Club is the best way to support the cartoon. If you're able, give it a shot:

https://www.historyshapes.com/membership/

A pixel art panel of "Franklin Quest," an 8-bit video game mockup from the vault. A pixelated Ben Franklin stands on one side of the screen as a French aristocrat gives a speech. The liberty bell is cracked in the background. "Help us Ben Franklin, you're our only hope. To save our world you must bone this French aristocrat. Like a lot."

historyshapes, to bookstodon

If I knew witches were coming, I'd have baked a cake 🎂

Read the wild story about how the Salem Witch Trials really began:
https://www.historyshapes.com/witch-cakes/

An excerpt from The History Shapes Cookbook. Easily the worst cookbook of all time 👎

@bookstodon

historyshapes, to history

Think you're tough? If you’re not pounding frosty pints of Cock Ale, think again, wimp. 🍺

Cock Ale was a type of beer fermented with the bones and meat of a rooster, along with spices and other aromatics for a little kick. 🐔

Read more with this excerpt from The History Shapes Cookbook, out now:
https://www.historyshapes.com/cock-ale/

@histodons @bookstodon

historyshapes, to history

Today marks the 100th anniversary of the 🍺

It was Adolf Hitler's failed attempt to forcibly overthrow the democracy of Germany 🇩🇪

His trial was covered by the press in minute detail, and even though he went to jail he used the coverage to spread Nazi propaganda through the media 🎙️

Failed coup, media savvy, going to jail, and evil. Sound familiar?

@histodons

historyshapes, to history

Happy 156th Birthday to Marie Curie 🎂

Born in 1867, she was the discoverer of radium, polonium and the first woman to win a Nobel Prize - and the first person ever to win TWO Nobel Prizes 🎉

History cartoons in your inbox:
https://www.historyshapes.com/signup/

@histodons

historyshapes, to history

Dine with the upper crust and save some bread while you're at it. Welcome to the Toast Sandwich 🥪

Introduced in 1861 by the original food influencer, Isabella Beeton 🍞

https://www.historyshapes.com/featured/toast-sandwich/

@histodons

historyshapes, (edited ) to history

Witch Cakes, anyone? 🧙🏻‍♀️

They're the best way to find out if you've been possessed by a witch - - and the reason the began:

https://www.historyshapes.com/witch-cakes/

⬆️ An excerpt from The History Shapes Cookbook, out now ⬇️

https://buy.stripe.com/28o03534y39sfMQfYZ

No tricks, just treats: pay whatever feels good 🎃

Boosts appreciated 🙏

@histodons @bookstodon

historyshapes, to history

Another excerpt from The History Shapes Cookbook, out now:

https://www.historyshapes.com/sheep-penis/

24 pages, full color, with bonus facts and brand new illustrations. Pay what you want ❤️

https://buy.stripe.com/28o03534y39sfMQfYZ

Boosts (so very much) appreciated 🙏

@histodons @bookstodon

historyshapes,

@huntertypes @histodons @bookstodon I think we have a weiner 🏆 - mert.

historyshapes,

@tezoatlipoca @histodons @bookstodon I have it on good authority that Elon Musk regularly gobbles down animal penises 💰 - mert.

historyshapes,

@SteveClough @histodons @bookstodon Timeless nuggets of knowledge 🧼 - mert.

historyshapes,

@dvdhaven @histodons @bookstodon My post links the original recipe/manuscript which mentions them specifically. Maybe just for the wealthy? Not too sure. - mert.

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