@michelestrider@mastodon.social
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

michelestrider

@michelestrider@mastodon.social

I chronicle the adventures of my imaginary friends.
https://amzn.to/3BBqv7B

Sometimes, I write as my imaginary friend John Anders Erickson. https://bit.ly/3KXcMwE

Formerly hotgingermess on the bird site.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

Quick, what personal failings are you blaming on the solar storm?

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

"Sorry, I wasn't listening. Solar storm. You understand."

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

"Sorry I missed your play/recital/improv show. Solar storm, ya' know."

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

Is it true? Are tramp stamps really coming back?

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

Cause I'm gonna make some young people hella uncomfortable

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

How many tattoos do you have?

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

We're only talking about RFK's brain worms today. All other topics have been tabled until we exhaust the entertainment potential of this.

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

I will read the NY Times article, so you don't have to. My takeaways follow:

"R.F.K. Jr. Says Doctors Found a Dead Worm in His Brain"

As headlines go, that is impressive. Let's just savor it for a second.

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

"The doctor believed that the abnormality seen on his scans “was caused by a worm that got into my brain and ate a portion of it and then died,” Mr. Kennedy said in the deposition."

Your brain killed the brainworm, sir. I stand impressed.

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

"He has gone to lengths to appear hale, skiing with a professional snowboarder and with an Olympic gold medalist who called him a “ripper” as they raced down the mountain. A camera crew was at his side while he lifted weights, shirtless, at an outdoor gym in Venice Beach."

Yes, that is a mind toxic enough to kill a brainworm. Checks out.

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

"For decades, Mr. Kennedy suffered from atrial fibrillation"

Brainworms and a non-functioning heart. And he's not the GOP nominee?

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

"About the same time he learned of the parasite, he said, he was also diagnosed with mercury poisoning, most likely from ingesting too much fish containing the dangerous heavy metal, which can cause serious neurological issues.

Brainworms, busted heart, mercury poisoning. Cool, cool, cool

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

“I have cognitive problems, clearly,” he said in the 2012 deposition."

Clearly

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

"In the interview with The Times, he said that he had experienced “severe brain fog” and had trouble retrieving words."

Vote Brain Fog 2024!

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

"It feels like there’s a bag of worms in my chest. I can feel immediately when it goes out,” he said."

How much of you is currently worm-infested, Mr. Kennedy? Inquiring minds want to know...

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

"He also said in the deposition and the interview that he had contracted hepatitis C through intravenous drug use in his youth."

Way to bury the damn lede, NYTimes. Hunter Biden would like a word, please

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

"Mr. Kennedy has spoken publicly about one other major health condition — spasmodic dysphonia, a neurological disorder that causes his vocal cords to squeeze too close together and explains his hoarse, sometimes strained voice."

Even your own throat is trying to shut you up, sir.

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

In summary:

Vote Shirtless Mercury Brainworm Drug Ripper 2024

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

you, a skilled/talented person: suffers from imposter syndrome

mercury-poisoned brainworm guy: I should be president

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

What cracks me up is when you go to a restaurant, and they ask if you've been there before, and then they say, "Well, we do things a little different here", and then it's exactly like every other restaurant, but more expensive.

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

@RickiTarr

"we do things a little different here" = "we charge separately for individual items usually expected/included in the order"

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

@RickiTarr bbq, but they charge extra for sauce. RIP, that deconstructed bbq place on Gilman St.

JonBaker, to random
@JonBaker@mastodon.social avatar

Instead of making lemonade have we considered bombing the lemon factory?

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

@JonBaker The workers should control the means of lemon production

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

Maybe we don't let Representative Jess Edwards anywhere near kids is maybe a good plan

https://www.nj.com/politics/2024/05/gop-official-argues-in-favor-of-child-marriage-girls-are-ripe-and-fertile.html

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

Today, as always, we let the Wookie win

DemocracySpot, to random
@DemocracySpot@mstdn.social avatar

Sister is taking her youngest grand for her first mani/pedi and spa day. The squeee in the house is palpable. She's 10.

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

@DemocracySpot That's going to be such a dear memory for both of them in the future.

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