@michelestrider@mastodon.social
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michelestrider

@michelestrider@mastodon.social

I chronicle the adventures of my imaginary friends.
https://amzn.to/3BBqv7B

Sometimes, I write as my imaginary friend John Anders Erickson. https://bit.ly/3KXcMwE

Formerly hotgingermess on the bird site.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

michelestrider, to random
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The takeaway isn't "haha, the richboys died."

The takeaway is that was operating with the same absence of regulation and oversight larger corporations are currently advocating for themselves worldwide.

michelestrider, to random
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Immigrants aren't polluting the blood of our country. You're thinking of microplastics.

michelestrider, to mastodon
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As of today, I've been on for a year and my skin is clearer, my IQ is 10 points higher, and my coat has a lustrous sheen.

michelestrider, to random
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That's nice, Guardian, but as a Californian, here is what you really do during an earthquake:

  1. Look up from your phone and go "huh?"

  2. Wonder if that was an earthquake.

  3. Ask someone nearby if it was an earthquake. They will say it was a garbage truck.

  4. Confirm it was an earthquake by going on the socials.

  5. Spend the next hour on social media, forgetting why you were there in the first place.

  6. DoorDash some food, because you've been through a lot today.

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/apr/05/earthquake-safety-what-to-do?utm_source=newsshowcase&utm_medium=gnews&utm_campaign=CDAQ7o2F7PSR_58JGNejo-bI7b7CsAEqEAgAKgcICjDCjqoLMMKZwgM&utm_content=rundown

michelestrider, to random
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The "no cats on the counter" rule is going great, thanks.

michelestrider, to random
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Mastodon is the number one site on the internet for pictures of Linux developers' cats

michelestrider, to random
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Happy to those Who celebrate.

michelestrider, to random
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Taylor got her fans watching football. Beyonce's got her fans listening to country music.
All we need now is for Rhianna to get her Navy into domestic beer, and we have the patriarchy utterly confused and terrified

michelestrider, to random
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So, you sleep through the crap weather and wake up skinny in the spring? Tell me more, bear

michelestrider, to random
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Whether you celebrate today's holiday or not, you can still have cookies for breakfast. They're totally non-denominational.

michelestrider, to random
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A little thing to remember this week is that badly wrapped presents are less stressful to open.

michelestrider, to random
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Every news outlet: Metal found in kids' chicken nuggets and lead in babies' applesauce.

GOP: We must end the scourge of government regulatory overreach!

michelestrider, to random
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Dear Masked Singer, Dancing With the Stars, etc.

Your instinct is going to be to book George Santos.

Resist that instinct.

michelestrider, to random
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Hello, I moved to a small town known for its apple festival and today MY HUSBAND AND I WENT ANTIQUING.

Clearly, I'm in a coma and someone has left the Hallmark channel on in my hospital room.

michelestrider, to random
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The NORAD Santa Tracker but for Taylor Swift getting to the Super Bowl...

michelestrider, to random
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I've been told it's Wednesday, but I'm holding out for proof.

michelestrider, to random
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You are over 45.

Everything you think happened 5 years ago was really 15 years ago.

Have a nice day.

michelestrider, to random
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Toby Keith is dead and country stations are playing Beyonce.

It's the sign, people. The age of Aquarius is finally here.

michelestrider, to random
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One time, my husband and I invented a religion while sitting on the couch after a motorcycle ride through the wine country. (Some of it may have come home with us.)

This is that religion.

And the goofy book about it is free through Sunday.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00M72UTOG

michelestrider, to random
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We all have exactly one week to use the "it was probably on that ship in Baltimore" excuse

michelestrider, to random
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I don't believe an accent tells you if a person is intelligent or not. It tells you if they can cook

michelestrider, to random
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The American Medical System: before you can reach some of the very smartest people, you must survive a gauntlet of the absolute stupidest

michelestrider,
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Adventist employee: Please sign this form saying we have provided you with a patient privacy statement.

Me: OK, but can I read the form?

A.E.: No, it's in another part of the hospital.

Ladies and germs, this was a real conversation I actually had with an allegedly functioning adult this very morning.

michelestrider, to random
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NPR: Alabama lawmakers move to protect IVF treatment

Me: Alabama lawmakers realize their war on women has inconvenienced men. Oopsie!

michelestrider,
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All I want is a deepfake of Kay Ivy singing "Every Sperm is Sacred." Dear Internet, is that too much to ask?

michelestrider, to random
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Is it true? Are tramp stamps really coming back?

michelestrider,
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How many tattoos do you have?

michelestrider, to random
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The Amish bakery has a website

michelestrider,
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I don't know which is stranger. That I googled to see if the Amish bakery has a website or that it did

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