@michelestrider@mastodon.social
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

michelestrider

@michelestrider@mastodon.social

I chronicle the adventures of my imaginary friends.
https://amzn.to/3BBqv7B

Sometimes, I write as my imaginary friend John Anders Erickson. https://bit.ly/3KXcMwE

Formerly hotgingermess on the bird site.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

It's Friday!
Let's do it!
You're crushing it!
You're killing it!
Kick it in the head
Punch it in its stupid mouth
Stomp on its instep and when it doubles over in pain, knee it in the nose
Choke every last gasping breath from its stupid body
Stand on the vanquished corpse of this day and howl of your victory to a grateful moon
You've got this

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

@thepoliticalcat whack it with a cane. Smack it with an AARP card.

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

@thepoliticalcat that's brilliant. New plan. We do this now

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

Tulsa County Oklahoma: Our school children must be kept safe from the dangers of books!

Also Tulsa County Oklahoma: It's fine if children beat other children in the school bathroom. No worries.

the_etrain, to random
@the_etrain@beige.party avatar

What's a Hobbit? Is that like an Ewok or something?

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

@the_etrain similar, but ewoks you can slow-roast and Hobbits work better in a stew

mentallyalex, to random
@mentallyalex@beige.party avatar

So a friend just sent me a question.

"Would you ever go to a nudist RV park?"
I said, "OH GOD NO" in abject horror to which she responded...

"IN SOUTHERN LOUISIANA"

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

@mentallyalex I want to see nekkid Louisianans at a shrimp boil. God created humor just for this.

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

Sorry, can't. Cat on my lap. You understand

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

Mastodon is the number one site on the internet for pictures of Linux developers' cats

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

It's OK, Pi. I, too, am irrational.

thevglibrary, to InitialD
@thevglibrary@mstdn.social avatar

It's 1982, and PAC-MAN fans are eating up America's favorite new video game sensation!

Now you can chuckle and chew at the same time with 96 Pac-filled pages of biting humor in:

PAC-MANIA! The Official Pac-Man Joke Book 📚

Just open wide and laugh!

👉 https://www.thevideogamelibrary.org/book/pac-mania-the-official-pac-man-joke-book

@bookstodon

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

@thevglibrary @bookstodon Hello, I am the moron who spent her parents' money on this, back in the day

GottaLaff, to random
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

Via Angry Staffer:

Democrats shouldn’t fall for this farce that GOP is operating in good faith here — while they’re pretending to care about national security, they’re the main ones benefiting from TikTok’s disinformation.

GOP goals in banning TikTok:

  1. Hurt Biden’s candidacy

  2. Xenophobia

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

@GottaLaff 3. Reward mega-donor Larry Ellison by forcing a fire sale of a Big Data thing he wants to own?

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

me, whining heavily, feeling deeply sorry for myself: I have to do a liquid diet for the next 24 hours. Oh, woe is me

the entire Muslim world: stares back in 30 days of Ramadan

MissingThePt, to random
@MissingThePt@mastodon.social avatar

Breaking: Senator Katie Britt demands that President Biden release Kate Middleton: “This is not how we treat an American.”

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

@MissingThePt So brave

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

Gonna be a social media sensation just as soon as I get a decent haircut

the_etrain, (edited ) to random
@the_etrain@beige.party avatar

Alright, this is it, then we'll pit the winners against each other. Round 7!

Best movie mash-up

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

@the_etrain I'm going to have to create a bunch of alt accounts so I can vote for them all

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

<insert time change rant here>

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

GenX's Internet: new, weird, deeply sketchy, like a grunge club where you will definitely catch something from the toilet seat

Millennial's Internet: established, corporatized, sanitized for your protection, very shiny and Disney

GenZ's Internet: all earworm videos, pornbots, and Nazis

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

If you do something that a cat doesn't like, you will be swiftly and severely corrected.

If you do something that a cat does like, you will be required to do it again and again and again until the sun burns out

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

To whomever tried to kill the internet today:

Godspeed

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

We're all watching a superhero movie today for Super Tuesday, right?

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

Cheers to the Federalist Society for teaching us all the value of the long con. May you all rot.

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

Maybe let's investigate all of the Oklahoma schools.

FYI, Deer Creek is the "good" school district, where the kids all drive better cars than you.

https://www.newsweek.com/video-foot-licking-oklahoma-school-sparks-anger-1875282

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

I hate it, thanks

https://techcrunch.com/2024/02/26/inkitt-ai-publishing-37-million/

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

I've never been invited to be part of a large group heist/caper and now I'm starting to doubt it's ever going to happen

donni, to random
@donni@mastodon.social avatar

Going to bed soon, but first I have to solve all my problems and end human suffering

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

@donni meet you back here at 3am to compare notes

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