@michelestrider@mastodon.social
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

michelestrider

@michelestrider@mastodon.social

I chronicle the adventures of my imaginary friends.
https://amzn.to/3BBqv7B

Sometimes, I write as my imaginary friend John Anders Erickson. https://bit.ly/3KXcMwE

Formerly hotgingermess on the bird site.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

That Novelty Cup you had to have on vacation, you'll never use it again.

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

@RickiTarr I carry my yard-long plastic margarita bong everywhere I go, thank you very much

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

I have never shot a dog, tried to overthrow democracy, started an illegal war over oil, sold arms to our enemies, or even broken into a crappy Beltway hotel. Can I be in charge of something, already?

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

The Amish bakery has a website

michelestrider,
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

I don't know which is stranger. That I googled to see if the Amish bakery has a website or that it did

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

What's the most inappropriate marketing message you've received for Earth Day?

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

I got a Happy Earth Day email from Southwest.

An airline.

Wishing me a happy Earth Day.

Someone find their director of marketing and stomp on his instep, please.

michelestrider, to random
@michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

"Many in Gen Z ditch colleges for trade schools. Meet the 'toolbelt generation'"

me, someone who has tried to hire people to fix or install stuff in the last few years: Oh, thank god!

Alice, to random
@Alice@beige.party avatar

deleted_by_author

    •
    michelestrider,
    @michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

    @Alice why do you remember that song? Why do I? Dear god, why?

    michelestrider, to random
    @michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

    No matter your actual birth order, all GenXers have middle child syndrome

    Alice, to random
    @Alice@beige.party avatar

    My kink is getting naked and holding my breath until I look like Grimace.

    michelestrider,
    @michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

    @Alice subscribes to your OnlyFans

    RickiTarr, to random
    @RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

    What embarrasses you the most?

    michelestrider,
    @michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

    @RickiTarr My mouth and the things that come out of it

    michelestrider, to random
    @michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

    A person is in my home referring to San Francisco as "Frisco." How hard should I hit him?

    RickiTarr, to random
    @RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

    What kind of high-school experience did you have? Were you in a clique? Were you popular, unpopular, the coolest kid in your Homeschool? Did you have a sweet jean jacket with patches, or maybe a leather vest? Were you an evil villain or a Mary Sue?

    michelestrider,
    @michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

    @RickiTarr Theater doofus

    michelestrider,
    @michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

    @RickiTarr It's the curse of all high school theater doofuses -- tons of documentary evidence

    mentallyalex, to random
    @mentallyalex@beige.party avatar

    I gave myself a brain worm... I think? Is it brain worm, or ear worm?

    I think I prefer brain worm, my ears are only slightly involved but my brain is swimming around in this song.

    https://songwhip.com/pink-floyd/wish-you-were-here

    :blobcatdj: I blame Faith. (The person, not the overall concept)

    michelestrider,
    @michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

    @mentallyalex This is so much better than my current brain worm. I'm going to try to onboard yours instead.

    michelestrider, to random
    @michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

    Names of some real bills written by actual congresspeople, on our dime:

    Hands Off Our Home Appliances Act
    Liberty in Laundry Act
    Clothes Dryers Reliability Act
    Refrigerator Freedom Act
    Stop Unaffordable Dishwasher Standards Act

    Again, I did not name these. These came from the brain trust of Very Serious Men and Women of the Grand Old Party.

    michelestrider, to random
    @michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

    That's nice, Guardian, but as a Californian, here is what you really do during an earthquake:

    1. Look up from your phone and go "huh?"

    2. Wonder if that was an earthquake.

    3. Ask someone nearby if it was an earthquake. They will say it was a garbage truck.

    4. Confirm it was an earthquake by going on the socials.

    5. Spend the next hour on social media, forgetting why you were there in the first place.

    6. DoorDash some food, because you've been through a lot today.

    https://www.theguardian.com/world/2024/apr/05/earthquake-safety-what-to-do?utm_source=newsshowcase&utm_medium=gnews&utm_campaign=CDAQ7o2F7PSR_58JGNejo-bI7b7CsAEqEAgAKgcICjDCjqoLMMKZwgM&utm_content=rundown

    michelestrider, to random
    @michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

    Amazing the number of China policy experts one finds in a small town doctor's office waiting room

    michelestrider, to random
    @michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

    Dearest internet youth culture:

    May we please have a new slang word to replace "cringe?" As I am now seeing that word in the msm and have no way to describe the situation accurately.

    Best,
    An Old

    RickiTarr, to random
    @RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

    New York Times articles be like:

    All Experts Say Water Is Wet, But Is It? Three Unstable People That Want You To Join Their MLM Religion Disagree.

    michelestrider,
    @michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

    @RickiTarr @rooster I lived in Oklahoma for 5 years, cumulatively, and, somehow, this post sums up that entire experience

    geekysteven, to random
    @geekysteven@beige.party avatar
    michelestrider,
    @michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

    @geekysteven It's where we got the term hamfisted

    michelestrider, to random
    @michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

    We all have exactly one week to use the "it was probably on that ship in Baltimore" excuse

    RickiTarr, to random
    @RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

    Important Question: Why is this image so overtly sexual?

    michelestrider,
    @michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

    @RickiTarr Why/how is a puppet giving bedroom eyes?

    misc, to random
    @misc@mastodon.social avatar

    I agree it’s messed up that NBC hired Ronald McDonald

    michelestrider,
    @michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

    @misc He has suspiciously close ties to the Hamburglar

    donni, to random
    @donni@mastodon.social avatar

    Do birds know they used to be dinosaurs? Does it piss them off

    michelestrider,
    @michelestrider@mastodon.social avatar

    @donni I assume that is what the ravens outside my house are complaining about. That and plotting to return to dominance.

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