Be wary of spiteful Reddit users

In the past week and a half, I've noticed Reddit behaviors starting to try and poison all of the places that people are taking refuge in to get away from the toxicity, myself included. They've started to DDoS Lemmy for a while, which is a Reddit thing to do and what they're notorious of doing whenever they feel they don't like something.

And now they've been trickling in numbers, these incredibly toxic users that behave as they would on Reddit. The reckless shitposting, derailing open civil discussions with unfunny and irrelevant jokes. The downvote brigading and banding together to get you banned. This exact thing has happened to me on Lemmy, that I had to leave because the toxicity was gradually building.

We should reject Reddit toxicity in general, tell them they don't have a place here or anywhere. They know where they can dump their shit in, but they feel that because they've made mountains of it, that they've got to come over to other places and do it all over again.

I left Reddit because the toxicity levels have gotten unbearable. I really am yearning for a place where I can talk in and not be antagonized. I'm sure others are too.

AlexisFR,
@AlexisFR@jlai.lu avatar

Let Reddit go, it’s making you a bit irrational.

Anomander,
Anomander avatar

The idea that Reddit is staging some nefarious conspiracy to "poison" fediverse spaces ... is losing the whole plot.

OP's straight up writing fanfiction trying to cast a site they just left as villains in some swashbuckling coming-of-age story. It's a nine-hour-old account, and they're already embracing the Us vs Them mentality and trying to sell it with prose.

I don't know how OP managed to pick fights within a couple hours of signing up for their account, but I'd suggest that if they left Reddit for "toxicity" only to immediately find it here too ... maybe they're carrying it around with them?

AlexisFR,
@AlexisFR@jlai.lu avatar

That’s very true.

Shhalahr,

Painting Reddit as a monolith in general is a problem, too. “Reddit is toxic?” Some subs, sure. But certainly not the ones I subscribed to. Some of them might have had bad actors here and there. But they were usually dealt with by the mods.

In the end, the only toxicity that drove me away from Reddit was the toxicity from the CEO.

siv9939,
siv9939 avatar

I'm 99% sure OP has made multiple accounts to try to sell their 'ex-Redditors are evil" schtick. I saw a post this morning from someone with a similar name pretty much saying the same thing.

snownyte,
snownyte avatar

Yeah I'm sure you've got it from my stalker, who has defenders that say he wasn't...stalking? Huh, funny how people have such a deranged difference in what means what to them.

Emperor,
@Emperor@feddit.uk avatar

The idea that Reddit is staging some nefarious conspiracy to “poison” fediverse spaces … is losing the whole plot.

That’s exactly what They’d say. 🤔

snownyte,
snownyte avatar

It's not what I say, it's what I know.

snownyte,
snownyte avatar

Do you just love living a life, where you think you know everything and place people in some little organizer that you define people as, personally? Because you're doing exactly the same thing as you're claiming as to what I'm doing, just to make yourself look better and righteous.

That's the kind of mentality I see all around Reddit as also. Nobody is accountable for their own behavior, it's always the other person's fault and it's always the other person who is the toxic one. Somehow. Someway. Despite condemning evidence to the contrary for all to see, how it's all of the people pegging rocks at them. It's exactly how it is in school, with bullying, only it's amplified online. Does it make you feel superior? Does it make you feel better? What is the precise reason do you feel, that you have to behave this way?

I'm pretty confident it is some insecurity within you that you shroud so well, but I can see the cracks already just by your reply alone. May I advise that maybe you should take some time outdoors, instead of like, making up characters out of baseless assumptions to satisfy your pseudo intelligence?

Anomander,
Anomander avatar

I criticized you for jumping to conclusions and fabricating narrative to support them. And apparently you got so offended by the criticism that ... you went and did it all over again, targeting me, committing even harder to the bit.

You just wrote a bunch of wild fanfiction about me and then tried to have an argument with that imaginary version of me. Might as well just yell at ghosts in the shower if you're that desperate to feel like you've snatched some petty victory from the jaws of self-inflicted defeat that is this thread.

You're the problem with your own experience.

This response is hugely excessive for the "provocation" and yet I'm sure you'll storm off imagining that I'm the big meanie here and you were some completely reasonable and utterly justified saint of good behaviour - for absolutely going off on someone who gently mocked your very serious demands for everyone to be nicer to you and meaner to the people you dislike. And you've done that to everyone who wasn't fawningly positive towards you in this thread - that you started by being hateful and childish towards a site you just left and the userbase of the site you just joined.

Even with the tiny sample size I can see why you have so many encounters with "toxic" people. You antagonize and attack people, then pretend they were the toxic ones if they defend themselves.

It's not hard to miss that you've just happened to call me all of the things that other people have told you about yourself in this thread. Hell, this whole little speech would have been far more appropriate as something someone said to you, if they were trying to hurt your feelings; so given how off the mark it was when directed at me, it's easy to wonder if maybe you're projecting a little here.

DeltaTangoLima,
@DeltaTangoLima@reddrefuge.com avatar

Are you OK mate? Like, seriously, are you OK? It sounds like you’re very preoccupied with Reddit. Just do what a lot of us recent Lemmy joiners have done - delete your account and never visit that shithole again.

¯_(ツ)_/¯

snownyte,
snownyte avatar

You're overshooting the problem and I really doubt you care about me so drop the act. You didn't even read a single word of what my post was about, so you're just like the few here who're running off baseless assumptions, twisting contexts and regurgitating through your own filter to come to the conclusion you've made.

DeltaTangoLima,
@DeltaTangoLima@reddrefuge.com avatar

Ok mate. Whatever. You’re the one coming off like a fucking lunatic fruitloop with all the “ReDdiT aRe ouT tO gET Us” bullshit.

atlasraven31,

On a moonless night, sometimes I can see SPEZ outside my window just staring.

snownyte, (edited )
snownyte avatar

I never said anything to the likes about how Reddit is out to get me. That's the picture you and every other insecure idiot that's been projecting all of this time. I make a little PSA and you guys interpret it as conspiracy. Makes me think that there's a mix of conspiratards in here too. That's not a me problem, it's you problem. But you guys just refuse to accept that reality, which places you in a different realm than where I'm at.

DeltaTangoLima,
@DeltaTangoLima@reddrefuge.com avatar

Now who’s projecting? I, like most of us here, just DGAF about Reddit. You’re the one harping on about it.

Calm the fuck down. Dickhead.

ubermeisters,

Hey I just want to say most of us humans care about most other humans even if we’ve had disagreements currently or in the past. You and I certainly haven’t gotten along so far but I still care about you and hope that you feel cared about.

Arotrios,
Arotrios avatar

We should reject Reddit toxicity in general, tell them they don't have a place here or anywhere.

Wait, so you're saying we should kick out all ex-Redditors?

First they came for the Redditors, and I said nothing
Then they came for the Facebookers, and still I said nothing
Then they came for the Instagramians, and still I said nothing
Then they came for the Twits, and I laughed and laughed and laughed until I vomited
Then they came for the OnlyFans, and I think they're still coming

ubermeisters,

some say they may never stop coming…

foggy,

When it got to the final days of reddit I began very liberally blocking people who respond with general negativity.

Might have to start back up.

Discourse? Disagreements? Discussion? Fine. But just being a dick? Nah, I don’t need your opinions on anything, really.

snownyte,
snownyte avatar

That's how it's been in my experience. The blocking ratio just amped up more than engaging. This whole thread is probably the most invested I've ever gotten in a long time, probably just out of morbid curiosity meets trying to find an understanding in something I already know what to expect based on previous experiences. Otherwise, the blocks have been trickling more now. Anytime I start having to have block parades on any platform, I just know that my experience on any platform is going to be limited.

People just suck at being rational people.

foggy,

My recent comment history is one with obvious brigading.

A user by the name of CarlsMarks going around pretentiously presuming people are unfamiliar with Karl Marx.

Just not the energy I’m looking for.

Gorejelly,
Gorejelly avatar

Even if everything you have said in this post is 100% true (and in my opinion, it is not), then the good news is that both Lemmy and kbin (and really most federated spaces I've joined) have excellent blocking tools. Block freely, block safely, block often if these other posts are bothering you.

I quickly looked at your kbin account, and it seems like every post you've made so far has to do with social networks and apps and people being mean. I know it sucks that you've just lost a very large community, but trust me, just let it go and you will be happier.

I have no way to know if you'll do this, but just as an experiment: next time you see a post here that you think either comes from or belongs to The Old Place, block it immediately, and then open up Magazines (or channels if you're in Lemmy) and pick a topic that normally would not interest you at all. Birds, movies, books, architecture, science, stamps, etc. Browse that for a few minutes and try to involve yourself in one topic. Just one. Even if you know nothing about it, ask an insightful question. It doesn't really matter if you get any response at all or not.

Do that a handful of times every time you see something you do not like here. I'd be curious if it helps you (or anyone else that tries this) in any way. I have done this myself, and it has helped me, but that doesn't prove anything.

snownyte,
snownyte avatar

KBin does not have the perfect blocking tool. A perfect blocking tool would be is if nobody saw my profile and I wouldn't see them replying that includes a string of what they'd be saying, that's adding fuel to the fire on purpose. That to me, is a flawed tool that needs to be fixed.

I don't need such advice as that's what I've been trying to do. But again, the blocking tool is insufficient. All users, I believe, deserve tools to lock their own threads and block. But, that's be "bad" according to some, well, boo hoo. They wouldn't tell anyone that they'd do the same at any given time if they found someone they didn't like.

And I'm not fooled either, I know now that I have stalkers who're going to follow me in every way. Just like they did referring to that Lemmy post, because it's not stalking when they do it, but stalking if someone else did it. And I do presume there's going to be spiteful engagements, forget about the downvoting, because that doesn't mean anything on here.

However, I'm forever going to be the demonized one, despite the huge contrast.

redcalcium,

People on Lemmy can be a bit rude at times, but it’s not like they’re actually toxic. A huge proportion of Lemmy (and mastodon) users have tech background, and this demographic are often very direct and don’t mince their words when posting online, which can appear to be rude and unwelcoming. Just keep your head cool when talking to them.

That being said, toxic people do exist here though, the kind of people that downvotes and do personal attacks when people post something they don’t like instead of doing civilized discussion like normal people. Most people here probably know who I’m talking about lol.

PrettyFlyForAFatGuy,

The only real toxicity i have noticed on here comes mostly from lemmygrad

Klear,

Reddit had t_d, here we have lemmygrad. I see it as a nice change of pace while making the place oddly familiar.

Yerbouti,

I went to Reddit today for a simple, politly asked question. First time in 51 days. It turned into a shitshow within 2 hours, with people being incredibly mean toward me and others. Man, Reddit has become everything I hate about social media. I use to like it because it was easy to have civil discussion, but thats gone now.

ubermeisters,

Reddit is a LOT of bots now. The bots were trained on existing bots, and trolls. Reddit will never change as a direct result of this heritage of awfulness.

admiralteal,

This is the Twitter effect.

The more the engaging and respectful leave for greener pastures, the more concentrated the bile left behind is... the more someone trying to be engaging or respectful is compelled to leave.

The only way out of the death spiral for Reddit is to either totally revamp the way they engage the community (not going to happen) or else to completely give up to being a mil-deep platform primarily for advertisers, trolls, and bots.

snownyte,
snownyte avatar

You can't even rant and vent about anything on there anymore. There's like a group of self-proclaimed curators going around that is judging what's a validated rant or not. There's just a lot of stupid characters people play themselves up as on Reddit and even on other platforms like this one. They must live incredibly boring lives to go the lengths they've had to act like this, while still proclaiming the people they're targeting, are the problem.

ubermeisters,

Idk boss, i think that’s a problem with humans / modern society, not specific to Reddit.com

Not sure why you would think only “the good ones” would migrate to Lemmy, but with any group of people online, with size comes trolls.

nicetriangle,
nicetriangle avatar

This. The internet is just fucking toxic now. And wherever you go, we’ll… there you are.

ArtieShaw,
ArtieShaw avatar

Honestly? It has been for ages and ages.

In 1989 a grown-ass grad student at our flagship state university tried to get my 14 year old friend to visit him downstate. (She told me all of this via a handwritten letter, mind you, but she was communicating with this creep - who wouldn't admit his actual age - via an early text only messaging system.)

I remember the 1990s as a weird free for all, but also very gate-keepery. Oh, and those chat rooms/IMs out of nowhere were just... not even a thin veneer of "normal people doing normal things." (I'm OK with that, but let's not pretend).

The 2005-2010 era was all about collaboration (wikis) and forums and LORD ALMIGHTY, that almost always ended as a shitshow. Highlights from my memories of one wiki mashup:

  • One kid from Slovakia faked his own online death, came back a month later and held a memorial for himself under the guise of a real-life friend of the kid. No one was buying it, and he lost his shit over the lack of mourning. It was cringe, but people were pretty mean about it.
  • Another kid from Louisiana (if you believed his bio he was 11 and lived in a trailer park) was attacked by two adult men for "trying to score contribution points" on the wiki... by adding valid information to the wiki.
    -An unhinged person in the Philippines threatened me with death, violence, and the destruction of generations worth of my family. That threat was delivered with the added terror-inducing information that her husband was a "lecturer at the university."
    -One of the site admin's/owners (a Russian dude who was the equivalent of Reddit's Spez), banned a guy.... this is so stupid and complex... mainly stupid.... I feel stupid just typing this out. It was Russian Spez's birthday and a few people on the forum wished him a happy birthday. (Myself included. I mean, have a nice b-day dude. Typing costs me nothing and maybe it'll dislodge whatever's up your butt.) Another guy on the forum (let's call him Derf) called us birthday-wishers "suck asses." Whatever. Anyway, Russian Spez freaked right the fuck out, banned Derf, and started whining in broken English about why it's unfair that we "think it's OK that people call him suck ass." And although I'm generally a nice person, I took this opportunity to call Russian Spez a thin skinned moron. (Seriously - I'm a 30 something woman and I'm not pitching fits over a childish taunt, but you are? And it wasn't even directed at you? To his credit, Russian Spez didn't ban me.)
    -Was creeped on like it's 1989 once people on that forum realized I wasn't a dude.
    -There were internecine disputes over formatting, where people in the US banded together to create a local standard that made no sense globally, people in the EU banded together to make standards that made a little more sense globally but pissed everyone in the US off because they preferred to say "Kentucky" vs. "KY", people in Finland created their own insular state of affairs and refused to enter a debate over site-wide standards, and everyone else around the world just glowered and waited it out.
    -Then there were the geo-political warriors. There were people in Iran and Iraq who fought an online proxy war over whether the Persian Gulf should be called the Persian or the Arabian Gulf. There was some drama over the South China Sea that I never really delved into. A single man in the middle east made 200 sockpuppets to defend 20 meters worth of sand in the Sinai peninsula that defined the border between Egypt and I-forget-the-hell-who-but-it-wasn't-even-Israel.

That got into HobbyDrama territory, but the point is: Shitshow. Always has been.

People just sort of suck. And when their natural impulses towards suckiness run up against site rules? Shit gets lost. When someone calls them out it becomes a personal grievance. The lawbreaker becomes the victim.

In the end, no one can have nice things.

Doll_Tow_Jet-ski,
Doll_Tow_Jet-ski avatar

Wow thanks for the history lesson. That was genuinely interesting. You should write a book about your internet memoirs:-P

strawberrysocial,

The thing about Russian Spez made me laugh. I’m glad you decided to keep typing it out even tho it felt stupid writing it haha

harmonea,
harmonea avatar

OP goes

I left Reddit because the toxicity levels have gotten unbearable.

And then seriously goes around disagreevoting replies like this one. Can we say "part of the problem"? Can we not foster a community where every counterpoint is met with that small but constant hostility? Be the change you want to see, OP, and reserve that shit for straight-up unproductive comments.

ubermeisters, (edited )

SURE wish i could just block OP and make my Lemmy experience better, ya know??

Figured it out

harmonea,
harmonea avatar

I can block people on kbin, does lemmy not have that?

Of course, it's more an "I don't want to see this user" than "I don't want this user to see me," but it keeps you from ever engaging with people who prove themselves little bitches more than once at least.

ubermeisters, (edited )

From the feedback I’ve been getting, It seems that its either buried awkwardly in settings somewhere, or the Lemmy instance I’m using (old.lemmy.world) doesn’t currently support it.

Edit: Sync for Lemmy (Beta) is out now, so that’s my new jam.

cheese_greater,

I love when people use boss randomly. Awesomesauce, boss ;)

Ignacio,
Ignacio avatar

Kbin and Lemmy are better built than Reddit in several ways to handle those behaviours to a certain point:

  • Karma: it's hidden on Kbin, and I can't find it on Lemmy. So, there is no pressure to post or comment something. Do you know that feeling on Reddit when you have 500 karma, you write a comment, and later you have 480 karma? That's what I'm talking about.

  • Instances with their own rules: every instance has its own administrator(s), and they can set different rules for them and apply them. Some are more tolerant than others, so in the end,your experience depends on what instance your account is. Besides, some instances don't have downvotes, so that's a big plus too.

  • People: we all, or the most of us, know how situation was on Reddit, how we struggled to make our experience be positive, with no success. Because we know that, we don't want that situation to replicate on these places. It's difficult sometimes, but we do what we can.

  • Defederation: as someone said here, if situation inside an instance is too hard to tackle, to the point that those bad entities harass users on other instances, then defederation is key, until the situation comes back to normal.

And there are other things, like algorithm (or lack of), code open sourced to fork if you wish, etc.

ubermeisters,

give me ability to block users then we can talk about equivalence or one being better than the other, personally.

be_excellent_to_each_other,
be_excellent_to_each_other avatar

Can do right now on Kbin, FYI.

Maestro,
Maestro avatar

You can block users, communities and even complete instances on kbin.

Hyacathusarullistad,
Hyacathusarullistad avatar

Blocking entire instances still seems to be bugged, in my experience. I've blocked a handful of German-language instances because I speak 0 German, but still see posts from those instances every now and then.

Maestro,
Maestro avatar

When I posted a few weeks back about doing the same, someone pointed out that feddit.de (the biggest German instance) also hosts quite a few English language communities. So, I just blocked the few big German communities that kept popping up in my feed instead. Maybe consider doing the same?

ArtieShaw,
ArtieShaw avatar

Vielen gruss aus Deutschland! Wilkommen und herzliche Wiedervereinigung mit uns. Wir sprechen gern Computor mit ihr!!

(Sorry to all involved about that thing that just happened there. I'm actually enjoying the German instances that I can understand about 35-65% of. IEL)

GeekFTW,
GeekFTW avatar

(Tagging @Maestro for visibility)

That's because we don't have Instance blocking on kbin. We have domain blocking, which is not the same thing nor does it provide the same function.

Instance blocking is supposed to be coming soon however according to comments on codebase (no idea on an ETA).

Hyacathusarullistad,
Hyacathusarullistad avatar

This was very helpful to know, thank you!

Maestro, (edited )
Maestro avatar

What's the difference? If I block a domain, none of the communities or posts from the instance hosted on that domain show up, right?

GeekFTW,
GeekFTW avatar

No. That's what the instance block will do when we get it. Right now with the domain block, the point of it is for example, say you hate imgur.com. Why? Doesn't matter, you just do. You can block the imgur domain so nothing from imgur, regardless of where it's posted, will appear in your feed on kbin. If I post a picture linked from imgur on m/gaming, you won't see it when you browse that magazine.

If you try to block an instance with that same method, posts and comments still come through fine. I've blocked a bunch of European instances due to language issues but the posts still sometimes comes through regardless (and many other people have commented saying the same over the last month, hence why we'll be getting a proper instance block soonish).

Maestro,
Maestro avatar

Thank you

CuddlyCassowary,

You can block users. I use the Memmy mobile app and just click on the user name and then the three dot menu on the upper right.

ubermeisters,

i’m new to lemmy, and am using the old.lemmy.world interface, and see no options for blocking users. Ill check another instance I suppose. Thanks for the feedback

SaltySalamander,
SaltySalamander avatar

Maybe switch to the normal lemmy.world interface when you want to block someone. It's right there.

ubermeisters,

Thanks. I’ve switched to wefwef.app on mobile at least, and I do see the option there.

harmonea,
harmonea avatar

Karma: it's hidden on Kbin, and I can't find it on Lemmy. So, there is no pressure to post or comment something. Do you know that feeling on Reddit when you have 500 karma, you write a comment, and later you have 480 karma? That's what I'm talking about.

Eh?

You have 3140 karma ("reputation"). It's not hidden.

Ignacio,
Ignacio avatar

I cannot see it unless I go to my profile page, so it's hidden to me. It's not like on Reddit, where you could see it at the upper right corner, no matter the Reddit page you where on.

Sephtis-6,
Sephtis-6 avatar

Most of these are very good things except the downvotes thing. Or at least if I understand correctly, it could be the same as with tutorials after youtube removed dislikes.

snownyte,
snownyte avatar

I really don't see the purpose of karma and why places like Lemmy and Kbin feel that they have to implement. Karma isn't my concern, it has only been my concern when it comes to Reddit because they tie karma directly to your account to where it affects how much you post and where. If that doesn't happen at all in either Lemmy or Kbin - why have it at all?

Quite frankly, karma systems across all walks of all social media platforms is it's own disease. Even if it serves no purpose, it has a hold on many people to think and act in reflection to how much karma they've accumulated. I've noticed the more karma someone has, the more narcissistic they become, the more that they feel they've above someone and feeling untouchable. Why, because their count outnumbers yours. People with low karma count don't really care, because unless you're on Reddit, no affects. However that routes back to my earlier point.

ArtieShaw,
ArtieShaw avatar

I can talk about a similar (karma-like) system on another site. It was a wiki-style site popular from 2006-2010.

Their original system counted a user's creations and edits. There was the expected amount of drama around who had more creations vs edits. Creators tended to add a lot of high volume but low effort crap. Editors would get a lot of grief over 'stealing' entries because the idiots who created the site put the username of the last editor at the bottom of the entry.

It got worse.

Around 2008 the idiots reimagined the site and expanded the scope. They kept the shitty idea of keeping the last editor's username, but they added a points system tied to how many new features were added. For example: if you added a town you were awarded 1 point, but if you added a street or river you were awarded 1 point for each kilometer of road or river. Shit got real weird.

It was a race towards crap. AngrySteve59 was no longer at the top of the list. He was replaced by GamerJoe84 who had racked up shit points using the new system.

Points just seem to make people crazy. "Rate me! Evaluate my work" - Lisa Simpson

atlasraven31,

I think maybe you are on the wrong instances. Find some better people or start your own community. And we are Lemmings not Redditors anymore.

snownyte,
snownyte avatar

No, I'm not going to be told that I'm on the "wrong side" of anything just because intolerant people inhabit where I'd like to interact with. Why is it so hard for people like you to ignore others?

wildeaboutoskar,
@wildeaboutoskar@beehaw.org avatar

Have you thought about joining Beehaw? They’re slightly stricter on rules but have fostered a friendly and welcoming space imo.

SaltySalamander,
SaltySalamander avatar

The toxicity is just emanating from you.

Beardedsausag3,
Beardedsausag3 avatar
roguetrick,

So tell us more about these toxic users you encounter.

GeekFTW,
GeekFTW avatar

The fucking irony lol.

r1pp0ff,

“Why is it so hard for people like you to ignore others?” Why is it so hard for you to ignore the toxicity that others produce? You seem to be a bit of a hypocrite…

atlasraven31,

Care to explain what “people like you” means?

ubermeisters,

Why is it so hard for people like you to ignore others?

i.imgur.com/UEaSrCL.png

blanketswithsmallpox,
blanketswithsmallpox avatar

Kbinaut here. I'm still wondering if Kbinite or Kbinaut will win out lol.

Meanwhile poor OP is apparently being haunted by the shadows of redditors calling him out for toxicity on two different websites lol.

If it smells like shit everywhere you go...

MrZigZag,

How about kbinian?

Anomander,
Anomander avatar

Kbinaut here. I'm still wondering if Kbinite or Kbinaut will win out lol.

Kbean.

OctoFloofy,
OctoFloofy avatar

Honestly like this the most

ubermeisters,

impartial observer: Kbinite sounds like a Kpop fan who plays fortnite. Kbinaut sounds like someone who explorers the depths of the internet for amusement.

habanhero,

I actually agree with OP. Maybe DDOS-wise it’s very instance-specific but in terms of toxicity, it’s very apparent across federated content. I mean, there are some pretty bad behaviors on lemmy.world communities already.

SoleInvictus, (edited )
@SoleInvictus@lemmy.world avatar

One option is everyone starts calling out assholes for their behavior and otherwise not engaging. It probably won’t change their behavior but it’ll at least annoy some enough they they’ll leave.

habanhero,

Just called one out recently. I agree everyone should be vigilant, but I also recognize what OP is saying reflects my experience (at least the toxicity part).

ryan,

Are you the same person as this guy? You seem to keep making new accounts and posts to hide your post history and complain about redditors.

I certainly can't know whether what you've experienced is actually toxicity or just criticism, as I can't see your post history. But any site with sufficient mass will be flooded with people like this. All the way back to 1993.

Part of being online anywhere with open signups and free discussion is just dealing with that sort of thing. The only way to prevent it is to spin up your own defederate instance and only allow people to join who you deem worthy of conversation with.

snownyte,
snownyte avatar

Oh nice, stalkers. Cool, said no one.

And no I disagree, the only way to prevent toxicity is for a moderation team to give a damn and maybe for the toxic users to realize that they won't be tolerated. I've never understood this stance where the "best" way to deal with something is to just find your own gathering. I don't have a following and I don't want to develop some following so I feel like I can talk. Everyone should have the privilege to talk where they want without the pressure of being antagonized.

The problem isn't the other people. The problem is the individuals who get confrontational and pose problematic behaviors. Not the other way around.

Pratai,

You seem pretty toxic to me.

snownyte,
snownyte avatar

Whatever, in your book. Block and move on.

be_excellent_to_each_other,
be_excellent_to_each_other avatar

Done and done!

Pratai,

Done.

SaltySalamander,
SaltySalamander avatar

I've never understood this stance where the "best" way to deal with something is to just find your own gathering

What would your alternative be? Are you one of those types of people that want to censor people you disagree with? If someone says something that hurts your fee-fees, fucking ignore them. Really easy to do.

deegeese,

If you keep trying to change human nature you’re going to be disappointed.

Complaining that other people do not live up to your standards is tiresome.

Easier to go where you are comfortable than to insist others change their behavior.

snownyte,
snownyte avatar

Who says I'm trying to change the entirety of human behavior?

What standards?

I've been hopping an awful lot from platform to platform at this point, trying to find this "comfort". You and other people have been encouraging this idea of isolation which isn't healthy on the human mind, just so you know, so you're coming off as blatantly unhelpful.

Changing people's behaviors isn't my goal, infact, I am having difficulty finding this invented problem you've made about changing people's behaviors. When, all I've said up and down, that I've noted of said behaviors and that I advocate we should not welcome it. Where are you getting this concept, besides inventing it, that it is about changing behavior? You can't change an asshole's behavior, they're going to be assholes regardless. All I'm saying is to reject it and make them unwelcome because they have no place in ecosystems where we're all trying to collectively be contributing and civil whereas, they're not.

deegeese,

Your whole post is complaining that people on Reddit are being jerks on Lemmy and telling everyone else what to do about it.

Go where the jerks aren’t.

snownyte,
snownyte avatar

Uh, no.

Why should I have to be hopping because people decide, mind you, to be intolerant? It's a you problem, not a me problem, as hard as a fight as you're trying to win in making me believe otherwise. You're spinning so hard.

deegeese,

Ah the old “everyone’s wrong except me”.

Good luck with that.

livus,
livus avatar

They actually seem to have moved off lemmy and onto kbin (where we are right now)

be_excellent_to_each_other,
be_excellent_to_each_other avatar

The problem isn't the other people. The problem is the individuals who get confrontational and pose problematic behaviors. Not the other way around.

No one else has been confrontational in this discussion except you.

You are using Kbin, which means you can block not just magazines/communities, but instances, and individual users.

I imagine increased moderation will come in time, to some communities on some instances, but frankly one of the benefits of the Fediverse is the control it gives you over who can and cannot make it into your feed. This is a lot of foot stomping about something you can largely control yourself.

livus,
livus avatar

You are using Kbin, which means you can block not just magazines/communities, but instances, and individual users.

This. I really think they haven't got their head around what kbin is, yet.

Slowy,
@Slowy@lemmy.world avatar

If you want to take up the time burden of moderating large communities for free you can contribute to the solution but it is a lot of work with no compensation, so there is a valid reason that throwing more moderation at the problem is much easier said than done

snownyte,
snownyte avatar

I'm probably some of the few people who'll actually be glad to be moderating large communities. The problem is that, people wouldn't like how I handle things because god forbid I actually move and act to resolve problems. Than letting it sit there and just remain untouched like I see so other instances of moderation do.

SaltySalamander,
SaltySalamander avatar

Honestly, from your posts in this thread, you're the last kind of person I'd want moderating a community.

ubermeisters,

read as: your rules would be blatantly unfair and people should deal with it because you are smarter than them

snownyte,
snownyte avatar

You'd just be mad because I'd have to ban you dozens of times because you can't be civil. That's my interpretation of your reply.

ubermeisters,

i’d like to see where I was uncivil to you in the slightest.

disagreement is not inherently uncivil. I think you are so used to the echo chamber on reddit that you’ve found yourself in a place where people actually call you out on your obvious bullshit, and you can not handle it.

evolve or move on buddy.

okmko, (edited )

I love how this random post suddenly devolves into one of the most drama filled threads I’ve seen on my brief time on Lemmy so far 😆.

Slowy,
@Slowy@lemmy.world avatar

Well fortunately on Lemmy people can create multiple versions of the same community to be ran in different manners. People can vote with subscribership. Beehaw is an example of a more heavily moderated instance that might align better with your goals and opinions about this. If the space you’re in takes a more laissez-faire approach to moderation, but that is the general desire of the community, it makes sense not to impose your desires on them if other more congruent options exist.

abff08f4813c,
abff08f4813c avatar

Hey, it's the fediverse! Make your own instance and your own magazines on there, and if there are like-minded folks who appreciate your moderation, your instance will grow. You'd generally not have to depend on the whims of other mods or admins that way, but have nearly full control over your own safe space.

skulblaka,
skulblaka avatar

Please do not ever apply to moderate anything. You will destroy the community. To be quite honest, with the attitude on display in this thread, you would be one of the first people to earn themselves a ban from somewhere I was in charge of.

Personally I've extremely rarely ever had the sorts of experiences you claim to have either on reddit or on the Fediverse. Especially not having groups of people hunt me down for my opinions. If everywhere you go smells like shit, you should check your own shoes - I find it difficult to believe that you haven't been bringing this upon yourself with your behavior.

ubermeisters, (edited )

… you dont need to be a stalker to recognize the connection between both the usernames and the expressed issues posted about by both accounts…

But now that we are on the subject, seems you are adding enough negativity of your own to Lemmy that others started talking note of you. That doesn’t sit well with your expressed point of view on all this. Maybe consider that.

snownyte,
snownyte avatar

You must have a very distinctive description in how you define what stalking is. I'm going by the universally agreed definition of what stalking is. This is, on all accounts, stalking and they knew that.

I can't quite care. Because, I know very well that I'm not the one who threw the first stone in the first place. But everyone still hasn't grown up past the phase in their childhood where they can't take accountability for their actions, so it MUST be the person they're scapegoating because that person is addressing the shit they refuse to owe up to. It's very childish and I'm ashamed to know so many self-acclaimed "sophisticated adults" behave like children, still.

You're making it sound like I'm running for some office, which isn't the case. Might want to tune down the dramatizing tone a bit.

gamermanh,
@gamermanh@lemmy.world avatar

It’s in no reasonable definition stalking, shut up

Yet again ignoring that it doesn’t matter who threw the first stone, perpetuating the negativity is not how adults handle things

snownyte,
snownyte avatar

If you were in my scenario, you'd totally be saying it different but just because you're on the outside of it, you're pretty ignorant. Therefore, you should shut up. :)

gamermanh,
@gamermanh@lemmy.world avatar

I’ve had people click my profile before my guy, it’s not stalking in any way

You seem to lack the basic grasp of how to use a site like this, you should probably stop until you figure it out better

ubermeisters,

here we go with you making up your own scenarios so you can justify yourself within them. neat trick.

Stalking is already a defined word.

  1. pursue or approach stealthily.
  2. harass or persecute (someone) with unwanted and obsessive attention.

Pointing out similarities between two accounts is neither harassment nor persecution, and you only find it “unwanted” because its inconvenient for your case and shows how childish you are. You posted hoping for an attaboy and didn’t get one, so you waited and rewrote your gripes with a new user account and a new spin, hoping for some attention. Its super clear to everyone else.

Asking for accountability isn’t unique to politicians and their constituents, especially when the subject matter of your post is that you want this to be a better place. while you drag it down further.

snownyte,
snownyte avatar

One of which was committed. They directly linked an entirely different post and asked if it was me. That's entirely stalking. I know you're trying so hard to be righteous in everything but, learn to be wrong for once. It's embarrassing how desperate you are to paint me as the villain and to make yourself look virtuous. God, I can feel the entitlement levels from here.

But I'm done with you, because you're clearly unreasonable. Blocked.

ubermeisters,

yes me, attempting to reason with your duplicitous nature, is unreasonable. SURE

theodewere,
theodewere avatar

you should get over yourself, and not worry about calling other people names

snownyte,
snownyte avatar

Where and who am I calling names to? What's this preemptive judgment of yours? See, you're behaving exactly similar to the behaviors I've talked about.

Maybe it's you that should get over yourself, you know, heed your own advice. The internet deserves to be a place to interact without the likes of you. infesting it. You just don't like that idea and feel you've got to be the center of some attention somewhere.

theodewere,
theodewere avatar

your entire post is instructions for calling people names, you drama queen.. with all the yearning and what not..

Scary_le_Poo,
@Scary_le_Poo@beehaw.org avatar

Nope, you’re wrong. He is exactly right in his op and about you.

theodewere, (edited )
theodewere avatar

very well.. having pronounced judgement, you, Scary_le_Poo will now pass sentence and name my punishment.. my punishment for obviously being a Spiteful Reddit User(TM).. show no mercy.. be sure to make an example.. that's the only way you'll be safe..

because your name is perfect for the job, Scary_le_Poo

Scary_le_Poo,
@Scary_le_Poo@beehaw.org avatar

Well, those certainly are words.

theodewere,
theodewere avatar

that's more like it

Chathtiu,

your entire post is instructions for calling people names, you drama queen… with all the yearning and what not…

Could you please quote where the OP had these instructions?

theodewere,
theodewere avatar

check the title, smarty pants

Chathtiu,

check the title, smarty pants

“Be wary of spiteful Reddit users” is not instructions for calling people names.

OP added an adjective to describe a specific class of Reddit users. The body of the OP made it clear it doesn’t apply to all users and therefore isn’t a title.

Can you please quote where in the body or the title the OP placed instructions for calling people names?

Transcendant,

They didn’t call anyone any names. You are taking this post very personally, do you feel personally attacked by it?

theodewere,
theodewere avatar

that's it, man.. that's why i'm going to all this trouble to explain myself..

girlfreddy,

Goodbye.

theodewere,
theodewere avatar

we'll always have Paris.. we didn't until you said that..

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