At what age and how do you tell children about the truth of Christmas?

I’m writing this as someone who has mostly lived in the US and Canada. Personally, I find the whole “lying to children about Christmas” thing just a bit weird (no judgment on those who enjoy this aspect of the holiday). But because it’s completely normalized in our culture, this is something many people have to deal with.

Two questions:

What age does this normally happen? I suppose you want the “magic of Christmas” at younger ages, but it gets embarrassing at a certain point.

And how does it normally happen? Let them find out from others through people at school? Tell them explicitly during a “talk”? Let them figure it out on their own?

RickyRigatoni,
@RickyRigatoni@lemmy.ml avatar

If I had kids I’d just do what every parent I know including my own did and let them find out themselves. I feel like it’s more natural that way.

Thordros,
@Thordros@hexbear.net avatar

We used Santa (et al.) as an exercise in critical thinking. Outside of saying, “Yep, the Easter Bunny did it.” we never directly lied about it. If they asked a question about it, we answered truthfully.

Child: “Whoa, how does he visit all those homes in one night?”

Dad: “It’s impossible unless he uses magic.”

C: “Whoa magic is real??”

D: “Nope.”

They all figured it out on their own before they hit grade school.

oshitwaddup,

That’s what my parents did too. Backfired on them when I left religion years later lmao

They thought it was funny/cute when I tried to argue with other kids about it, but aren’t so happy when I argue about religion with them now 😆

ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling,
@ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

Wow, your parents raised you to think critically for yourself, then got upset when you thought critically for yourself? Lol

That being said, I’m glad your parents had their priorities in order

oshitwaddup,

they weren’t upset that I was thinking critically, but they’re not happy I left the church. In their mind thinking critically points to the church. And I can be pretty argumentative when I disagree with someone and think they’re pretty straightforwardly wrong, hence arguing about santa as a kid and religion with them 😂

But i’m definitely glad they did too

ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling,
@ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com avatar

I am sure they are still proud of you.

oshitwaddup,

Yeah I think in a lot of ways they are

theshatterstone54,

As an ex-child, I figured it out on my own at the age of 6. You see, back then, our gifts would be given to us by a Santa Claus in a suit at our kindergarten, and the gifts would be what we wrote letters for with our parents. We would tell our parents, and they would “write” and “send” the letters. Then they would buy, pack, and label the present, and then bring it in to our kindergarten sometime earlier. On one of the last days when we break up for Christmas, the Santa would come to our kindergarten and we would take photos with them and our presents. After that, we would go home with the presents and get the photos soon. Now, as you can clearly see in the picture from the previous year, the santa has a very different beard and suit, far too different to be real. Alongside that, a roll of the same wrapping paper was hidden behind my parents’ wardrobe, and last but not least, my name on the present was written in my mother’s unique and very recognisable handwriting style. Not bad for a 6-year-old, huh?

klemptor,

Ugh my sister believed until she was 10. When I pointed out that the labels were in mom & dad’s handwriting, she said Santa had a special pen that mimics other people’s handwriting (why? no idea). Like come on dawg you’re in the double digits now, you’ve gotta be smarter than this.

KingJalopy,

I was also 6. I received California Games on Nintendo. It has a barcode. I thought, “what the hell does Santa need a barcode for?” Mom tried to tell me the elves couldn’t make video games and I was like yeah right, you fucking bought that.

Robaque,

I was kinda on the opposite end of the spectrum lol. I remained steadfast in engaging with the Santa Claus mythos until a pretty late age despite my parents staight up telling me they were the ones getting me presents, and despite knowing that all evidence pointed to them telling the truth, lol.

shiveyarbles,

I waited until he was 8 years old before explaining the horror of Satan Claws

Lettuceeatlettuce,
@Lettuceeatlettuce@lemmy.ml avatar

Just don’t play into it. My parents never did the Santa gifts thing from the beginning. All our gifts were from mom, dad, grandma/grandpa, etc.

I never got a “talk” that I can remember about Santa not being real, it just never was a thing.

No magic was lost for me or my siblings. Christmas was still our favorite holiday of the year. Still had tons of fun decorating, making cookies and gingerbread houses, making gift wishlists, going out to get a tree, putting up lights, getting up early Christmas morning to open gifts, etc.

Most magical time of my life personally as a kid during the season, nothing was lost by not believing in Santa bringing me presents.

Emphasize the important things about the season. It’s about generosity, spreading joy to others, celebrating friends and family that we don’t get to see often, etc. Don’t make it consumeristic. I wish my folks had taken me and my sibs to help at some sort of community function around the holidays. Although as we got into our teens, we would do food drives and toys for tots, etc. Which was good.

zecg,
@zecg@lemmy.world avatar

No magic for me, I told them immediately as they could understand. That shit is a gateway to religion. I didn’t even care if they believed me or the liars, I was quietly ready to be found right in some years, but the keepers of the ol’ magic flame were not persuasive enough and my brood went around redpilling their peers.

Thisfox,

That is why it is such a great learning tool. Sitting them down when they find out Santa isn’t what they thought, and discussing that at school they will meet Christians who believe things as solidly as they believed in Santa, and that beliefs can be important to people, just as Santa was important to them, even though they might be wrong it isn’t very nice to burst that bubble… The kids get it, they understand fact and fiction better, and won’t be tricked again. It is a great learning experience. And kids will play along with it and not ruin someone else’s christmas.

Damage,

My dad used to dress up as Santa Claus and bring gifts to kids at the village’s daycare… This required months of work from my mother to buy toy packs and similar stuff to separate into little assorted packages for the kids. This started before I was born, it was impossible to hide the fact from me growing up, and they never tried to pretend Santa was real, they just told me not to tell the other kids. I had no further questions or doubts to be assuaged.

Saigonauticon,

I think a key observation in my childhood, was that adults don’t generally know what’s best, or right, or even what’s true. Intentions mattered more than some arbitrary ‘correct’ behavior. I figure all children work this out at some level, faster than we’re willing to acknowledge :D

So I guess yeah, it is a bit weird, but that doesn’t make it bad. Maybe the best we can do is suggest parents hold their children’s best interests at heart, and do what’s best for their specific situation.

sigh,
@sigh@lemmy.world avatar

adults don’t generally know what’s best, or right, or even what’s true. Intentions mattered more

this is why I’m so damaged

MrPoopyButthole,

The sooner you can tell your kids God’s not real, the better. Just make sure you tell them it’s not their job to explain that to their peers.

Unless you meant Santa. In which case the same applies.

putoelquelolea,

By truth do you mean that Santa doesn’t exist, that the whole Christmas celebration is an adaptation of Roman pagan traditions, or that Jesus never existed?

JackGreenEarth,

Jesus probably did exist, but he probably didn’t commit miracles.

theshatterstone54,

Exactly. Also, fun fact: If I recall correctly, there were a lot of religious preachers/prophets at the time. A good example is John the Baptist. Why do you think he baptised Jesus? So Jesus could now be a member of John’s church/cult/club/group/whatever. My personal headcannon (i.e I don’t have evidence to back it up but it just makes a lot of sense) is that Jesus learned how to lead a religion by example from John the Baptist and used that to grow his own religious group. And if it wasn’t for the crucifixion, Jesus’s religious group would have never grown to be so popular that it eventually spread throughout the Roman Empire. Now, I’m guessing the resurrection got added to the story either because Jesus was still alive when removed from the cross and then nursed back to health, or because someone saw him before the crucifixion and somehow got into his head that the time they saw Jesus was after the crucifixion and the story spread mouth to mouth, changing over time. Of course, as it turns out that was among main topics of discussion during the Council of Nicaea: should Jesus be perceived as human or as divine?

Thisfox,

If you read the text carefully, no one saw him alive after the crucifiction. Just some lights and some stuff magically moved around when no one was looking. No reason for him to have survived, if his followers were fast and quiet etc.

But yeah, there are several possible “sons of god” at the time. Jesus is just a confabulation of them.

theshatterstone54,

Well, idk about “sons of god” but there were certainly many many prophets at the time. Jesus wasn’t anything special (if he was, in fact, real, and not just an amalgamation of multiple popular prophets at the time)

putoelquelolea,

Source?

Thordros,
@Thordros@hexbear.net avatar

In a modern survey of Jesus is Definitely Real and Was The Son of God and Died and Rose Again for Our Sins scholars, they unanimously believe that Jesus was real.

Do not argue against it. It’s on Wikipedia. Those are the guys who were cited, so he’s real.

putoelquelolea,

Silly me - wondering if there was a contemporary, unbiased historian who maybe could have heard of him

Twig,
@Twig@sopuli.xyz avatar

Virtually all scholars of antiquity accept that Jesus was a historical figure, and attempts to deny his historicity have been consistently rejected by the scholarly consensus as a fringe theory.

ulkesh,
@ulkesh@beehaw.org avatar

Exactly. There is about as much proof of Jesus of Nazareth existing as there is of King Arthur existing.

Saying “he probably did exist” is like saying “my dog probably speaks English to his fellow dogs.” It is meaningless without objective evidence.

People tend to say “he probably did exist” simply to hedge their bet or to not go against the grain of the mainstream belief system. I, for one, have been provided no objective evidence (by claimants such as religionists) of the existence of such a person and therefore I have no reason to accept the mainstream belief of his existence.

putoelquelolea,

Agreed. People don’t take into account the fact that historians have existed for a long time and probably would have noticed a person as revolutionary as the one mentioned in the gospels - miracles or not. The Romans were excellent record keepers, and that is how we know for a fact - for example - that Herod’s timeline does not jibe with the virgin birth myth, nor did the Roman survey methodology jibe with the Bethleham journey myth, to cite two examples among so many others

son_named_bort,

Santa doesn’t exist? Why am I just now finding this out?

DieguiTux8623,

You stole the words right out of my mouth. Thanks for saving me the time to type that comment.

nocturne213,

We have always celebrated the winter solstice and Santa Claus with our kids and skipped the lie of Christmas all together.

AnalogyAddict,

From the very beginning. It’s much more magical and less creepy.

indepndnt,

My parents always told me the “truth” about Christmas: it’s Jesus’ birthday, and Santa Claus is a lie from the devil meant to turn you away from God.

I grappled with this question for awhile as a young parent. A thing that I noticed about kids is that they are great at make-believe, and they will get endless enjoyment from things that they made up themselves.

So I gave them presents “from Santa”, I filled stockings on Christmas Eve, etc., and we all knew we were playing the Christmas game together. I don’t think there was any lack in wonder or enjoyment.

I also made sure that they knew that some folks take it really seriously and believe Santa is real and everything, and that’s really none of your business so just play along and don’t ruin it for them.

angrystego,

Omg they told you that Santa was a lie from the devil? It always fascinates me when people of Christian faiths don’t know that Santa is Saint Nicholas, the early Christian bishop. I’m glad you found your way to make Christmas fun for your kids!

EnsignRedshirt,

There is no evidence that belief in Santa is harmful to children, nor is telling them the truth. They only believe in Santa for like maybe three years, and they’ll figure it out on their own. The vast majority of kids figure it out by age ~7-8. You can tell them whatever you want, it won’t matter either way.

If you do tell them the truth, or they figure it out on their own, be sure to also tell them that even if they don’t believe, other kids do, and being a Santa-truther will not win them any prizes or make them any friends. It’s a good lesson about living in a society.

bobbyfiend,

We just never invested in that with our kid. We said things like, “it’s fun to pretend” and “some other families believe…”

It isn’t hard. I grew up believing Native Americans were Israelites and there were ancient records written on metal plated under a hill in central New York. Many families believe our don’t believe certain things.

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