I need to survive for 3 days without pooping, and eating as little as possible. I can pee, but not very often. It can't take up too much space. What food do I pack?

Please don't ask why I need this.

It would be great if the food also made me sweat less.

It has to be something I can easily find.

EDITS FOR CLARIFICATION:

  • I am not planning on partaking in any illegal activities.
  • I do not condone the use of illegal substances and am not planning on smuggling anything anywhere.
  • I am not going on a hiking trip or mailing myself anywhere.
  • I will be staying in a tent (not a small one; a huge with with air conditioning and everything). I will be traveling for five days, returning to my current location on day 3 and traveling again on the last two days. I will not poop on the first three days (hopefully).
  • Clean toilets with all the expected facilities will be available to me. I am not going to poop for reasons that I wish to keep to myself.
  • If it gets bad, like really bad, like a-piece-of-poop-is-literally-halfway-out-my-ass bad, I will use the toilets.

Please stop asking because I am not telling anyone the reason.

match,
@match@pawb.social avatar

enjoy your sex trip and I wish you happy bottoming! if you're not going to be doing too much physical labor during this time I recommend going full bottom mode: the week ahead of it start eating very lightly, initially a high fiber diet with added psyllium husk or metamucil. your body might be different but mine would say no dairy during this time. for the day before or even two, switch to a meatless and somewhat low fiber diet - ramen noodles is a classic, cookies, soup, other carbs. before you leave for the trip, clean out with an enema bulb (or store bought enemas if your ass is bougie or inexperienced). the combination of low fiber and low food throughput should keep you from having to poop and whatever poop is still in your tract will get largely removed by the enema.

while you're out at your fuck-tent, consume most of your calories from simple carbs as much as your body will handle so as to give your microbiome less to work with - applesauce is kinda nice, fruit snacks, white bread. eat like a twink!

remember to stay hydrated!! I know you're not trying to pee either but it's important to hydrate even if it means suffering whatever penalty your dom is giving you when you ask to be let out to pee

riktor,
riktor avatar

This is the way

JesusTheCarpenter,

This guy kinks

Leafimo,

the real LPT is always in the comments

Very_Bad_Janet,

eat like a twink!

Is this why they call it the BRAT diet?

Linebeck,

lmaooooo

DoucheAsaurus,
DoucheAsaurus avatar

while you're out at your fuck-tent

I'm dead holy shit 🤣

manifex,

Gimping: A Primer

WhoRoger, (edited )
@WhoRoger@lemmy.world avatar

High protein, low fiber diet.

It's a real thing, pilots of U2 spy planes that needed to fly for ~18 hours straight without any possibility of pooping, needed to be on a special diet for a few days before a mission.

What exactly it consisted of I don't know, but this is the internet, so I'm sure it can be found. I suspect mainly beef. Maybe jerky?

Adama,

For anybody doing this seriously be careful. High salt/protein and low water sounds like a recipe for all kinds of issues.

For example extremely high water low salts can cause brain swelling and death.

livus,
livus avatar

They should really drink oral rehydration salts instead of plain water.

Trebach,

For example extremely high water low salts can cause brain swelling and death.

And before that, you lose your balance, are vomiting and have diarrhea after you eat/drink something, and have seizures. Then your kidneys shut down.

The week in the hospital on IV fluids and dialysis recovering was not pleasant.

mizu6079,

Thanks. I'll try to find some food like that tomorrow. I have only 3 days to prepare.

vegivamp,
@vegivamp@feddit.nl avatar

There is something called low-residue diet, often needed before or after certain medical procedures. You might Google information on that.

WhoRoger,
@WhoRoger@lemmy.world avatar

For real, ask on some aviation community or Reddit. You'll find real pilots with very specific experience.

My guess would still be beef jerky, plus it's light and doesn't spoil. Also I'd start asap, so you can still get empty before the "trip" and not have much inside left.

TheShane,

Reddit?

I'd that like Digg or Tumblr? Doesn't ring a bell...

Jimi_Hotsauce,

Reddit? damn near took it out for a nice dinner!

BasicWhiteGirl, (edited )
BasicWhiteGirl avatar

I just watched a movie(bad thriller) about hikers. They popped some pill before they started to climb to stop them from pooping. Wonder what it was and if pilots also take something besides just diet.

1st,

Probably Imodium. Most hikers keep it in their pack in case they get gerardia

AkioDAccolade,

I wish Imodium worked on what I have right now. Been dumping straight liquid into the can every 25-30 mins for 7 days. I'm dying over here.

Doc says either norovirus or ecoli, Imodium does not touch it.

bigkahuna1986,

I ate some undercooked turkey and dumped for 2 days and just wanted to die at the end. 7 days seems unimaginable.

InEnduringGrowStrong,

7 days is a lot.
Try and stay hydrated, don't pass out, get well.

Quereller,
Quereller avatar

Cholera

benignintervention,

I was incapacitated by the shits in Toronto and Imodium locked that shit down

assclapcalamity,

*giardia

WheresYourShoe,

Thank you. I knew it was wrong, but it broke my brain and I couldn't think of the correct word, lol.

sectorfour,
sectorfour avatar

*giardiniera

sethboy66,

*Ghirardelli

irenerd,
@irenerd@col.social avatar

@sethboy66 @mizu6079 @WhoRoger @BasicWhiteGirl @1st @assclapcalamity @sectorfour Girdairani

Parsecale,
Parsecale avatar

This person is for sure going to pack themselves onto a pallet for cheap LTL interstate transport or possibly descending to the Titanic in a questionable craft.

livus,
livus avatar

Downthread they say they will also do a lot of walking. It does sound like some sort of... "informal migration" scheme.

Sleo,

If I had to guess, given the timing of this, he’s probably on the Hajj. Around this time 1.5 million Muslims make a pilgrimage to fulfill one of the main tenants of the religion, to make a once in a lifetime pilgrimage to Makkah. This is tied to Eid that’s coming in a few days.

Where I suspect this ties in is, one of the steps in this journey is to stay in Mina, which is basically a tent city outside of Makkah. The bathroom facilities are lacking at best, specially if you are used to clean western style sitting toilets. It’s not uncommon for people to walk back to their hotels and take care of business and walk back to their tents. Depending on where the hotel is and where your tent is, this could be a half hour to an hour walk. Let’s just say if someone is very particular about the throne and is situated far from the hotel, fasting and going without food to reduce poop frequency seems like a very attractive option.

In my experience, the bathrooms for the American and Canadian tents weren’t too bad to use in a pinch. And I was blessed that my hotel was only a 15 mins walk, so my wife and I would walk over every morning, take a nice shower and freshen up and walk back (there is a recommended time requirement on how much of each day you can spend outside the boundary of the city). The food there was too tempting for me to go with the no poop route this brave soul is embarking on. (For context, they would have fresh squeezed juices, lamb and rice dishes as big as small cars, teas, coffees, and the sweets were amazing… And it was all free!).

Eid Al Adha-https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eid_al-Adha?wp…

Hajj - en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hajj?wprov=sfla1

Repost from: lemmy.ca/comment/549502

techtask,

MREs. Particularly US MREs. You can eat em as much as you want and you won't have to go for a week.

Fear the end of the week, however

CanadaPlus, (edited )

Especially if you don't rehydrate them properly. That's where the reputation comes from at least partly.

Edit: Or so I hear.

sethboy66,

What US MRE requires rehydration? Retort pouches are universally used to carry wet rations, I thought the only hydration needed was for drink mixes like instant coffee and drink mixes.

CanadaPlus,

I'm actually just repeating what I've heard. I'll add a disclaimer.

That surprises me, though. It must add a lot of weight. The Canadian ones have dehydrated or partly dehydrated components.

whenlifegivesyoureddit,

Glad I wasn't the only one to think ration packs. UK ones used to have similar effects

mizu6079,

Update because I still get one or two comments in my inbox daily asking me about this thing.

Yes, I did succeed.

No, I’m not telling anyone what all of this was about.

I got constipated after the thing was over and made a post asking for help.

The promised picture of my porcelain throne: https://vlemmy.net/pictrs/image/a4c98c35-2653-4af6-921e-ffd7cae33035.webp

codyofficial,

You’re a lemmy legend.

Albinoss,

Lemgend.

Peruvia,
@Peruvia@lemmy.ml avatar

First of all, I was having a nice day until I read this. But alas, here’s my two cents. Since you said you will be travelling, not eating will be a problem. Why? As other comments pointed out and as I went through this myself a few weeks ago(not intentionally, just financially dependent on irresponsible traumatised individuals who get to decide when/what/why I eat- I am working on it, don’t worry), not eating for extended amounts of time gets you weird cramps and liquid poop. You don’t want that, especially when you need to move. I don’t know the environment you will be in, but aim to eat a bit those days, processed solid foods will do. Cheese, eggs, bread(bagels),plain pasta(ALREADY BOILED) if available. Avoid sugar in fairly large quantities(dehydrating), coffee(obvs), fruits, even vegetables. Your body will hate you for this, so when it’s over please take it easy and eat&drink water properly. It’s good that you will be moving, hopefully not too intense activity(because you’d need to eat/drink water properly) as that will distract your brain from wanting to eat/drink water.(again, sauce: former retail worker, wasn’t done intentionally, I can’t stress this enough. It just sorta happens). Make sure that you at least sleep and rest properly, and as others have pointed out, this isn’t sustainable and not recommended by any means. Long term lack of nutrition fucks you up in ways I can’t even begin to describe, take that shit from me. In the offchance you tattoo your asshole(and that you are one who has that tentacle tattooed on the asshole and are having it re done/touched up), you can simply wash after you poop, you don’t have to go through this. Also you can try anti diuretic and anti liquid poop(for a lack of a better term) medicine. Looking foward for an update, hope you’ll be ok.

atwerp,

OP, you misunderstand the "no shitposts on lemmy" guideline, that's not what it means

makingStuffForFun,
@makingStuffForFun@lemmy.ml avatar

Boom tish! Lovely work

JWBananas,
JWBananas avatar

Good luck winning that car!

mizu6079,

If i was gonna be on a Mr Beast video i would've probably spent some money on an actual specialist

JWBananas,
JWBananas avatar

I have no idea what you're talking about

airportline,
@airportline@lemmy.world avatar

Famous YouTube star and Satan worshiper.

AlexNoami,

Book your Morocco Desert Tours with the best Local Guides

jeena,
@jeena@jemmy.jeena.net avatar

I think water fasting would do you the best. There was this guy in 1965 who fasted for over a year eating nothing but some vitamins prescribed by the doctors and drinking water coffe and tea en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angus_Barbieri's_fast

He apparently also only pooped every 2 months diabetes.co.uk/…/story-angus-barbieri-went-382-da…

squirrel_bear,

OP, there’s help available if you have OCD.

Jrussell,

This is so fucking funny. It keeps reappearing in my all feed every day and reminding me.

andrr_464,

frrrrrr

spuddaddy,

As a recent reddit refugee, this made me feel at home again. Bravo everyone.

Zippit,

Take Iron supplements and eat noodles, the nissin soba classic. Also, hardboiled eggs. Backs me up every time.

LevelSe7en,

Getting tattooed?

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