The saddest thing about meeting other high-profile women and enbys in infosec is the part where you compare your lists of stalkers and chronic harassers.
@evacide My wife showed me one of those bear videos where a dad tells her daughter he’d recommend the bear any day because men are evil. Unfortunately true to such a degree that it leaves me feeling all despondent and sad.
@evacide I've a dear friend, not in infosec, the general trade, and she is an important figure in the network of women in my corner of geekery.
We're very close, so at conferences, we'd inevitably seek each other out.
And I'd be sitting at her table, while women in the network came by to check in with her. They'd greet her, and then give me a rapid side-eye, and my friend would say, "He's okay, go ahead."
The fucking stories I heard. Routinely, the stories I heard.
@evacide I don't know what's worse -when it's all the same people doing it which just shows how little is done to stop known bad actors, or when it's all different people which just shows how many of the bastards there are in our workplaces and how comfortable they are doing it.
I have a community in The SF Bay where the fem community leaders keep a spreadsheet of the masc folk in the community, and tracks all yellow- and red-flag acts.
Here in Asheville, there are similar systems for reviewing experiences with guys on the dating scene, positive and negative experiences.
@evacide unfortunately, there are those who can't talk about lists or details or experiences...
otherwise all of the effort to leave those memories behind becomes wasted... the therapy and legal process' costs, retelling of events to police, justice system involvement and court dates, paperwork and bureaucracy, and the years of knowing that the offenders rarely see accountability...
but then not all of us work in infosec, we're everywhere else too.
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