parismarx,
@parismarx@mastodon.online avatar

Innovation is dead. In its place, companies just add internet connectivity and voice control in places it’s absolutely not needed so they can pretend extracting data and profit is the same as progress. No one needs a “smart” bidet.

timmy,
@timmy@goblin.camp avatar

@parismarx hey alexa, blast my ass.

shuttersparks,
@shuttersparks@qoto.org avatar

@parismarx Wow. A toilet I can converse with was not on my list of product ideas.

jaykass,
@jaykass@mastodon.online avatar

@parismarx this is hell

the_blackwell_ninja,
@the_blackwell_ninja@mastodon.online avatar

@parismarx Now I can fulfill my lifelong dream of being able to speak to my toilet while taking a dump.

johnmastodon,
@johnmastodon@mastodon.online avatar

@parismarx they'll try anything except flying cars. Never saw a talking bidet on Blade Runner...

rysiek,
@rysiek@mstdn.social avatar

@parismarx it's missing AI-based blockchain though.

qurlyjoe,
@qurlyjoe@mstdn.social avatar

@parismarx
It’s fucking bad enough that my car wants to tell me what to do. Now the fucking toilet wants to join in? No, sir, I don’t like it.

Hypx,
@Hypx@mastodon.social avatar

@parismarx Innovation is basically "maxed out" in conventional tech-related sectors. There's only so much connectivity and smart features that anyone would actually want to need.

As a result, innovation will no longer come from these conventional tech-related sectors. Real innovation must come from elsewhere.

chogbro,

@parismarx the Internet of Shit

SecureOwl,

@parismarx it takes either an over the air software or firmware update depending on what you ate the night before

fernsehchat,
@fernsehchat@mastodon.online avatar
some_natalie,

@fernsehchat @parismarx Meanwhile, in a few months

Kohler Apologizes to Grandma for Hacker Causing 3rd Degree Burns via Smart Bidet

#DystopianHeadlineGenerator #nottheonion #internetofshit

JetSm00th,

@parismarx Lovely. I already have a problem with self-flushing facilities. I mean, I get that they ensure a cleaner bathroom.

I’m just not comfortable with toilets that are aware of my presence. 😱

kurtseifried,

@parismarx Is it like the Govee light curtain and I can design and save custom sprays? I'd pay money if I could program my bidet to do this. There's some good options according to chatgpt:

Selecting a song for programming the rhythm and timing of water pulses in a bidet based on both musical qualities and a relevant, "pooping-related" name is an unusual but interesting challenge. Keeping in mind the requirement for a suitable name, one song that stands out is "Drop It Like It's Hot" by Snoop Dogg featuring Pharrell. This song not only has a title that humorously aligns with the context but also features a distinctive beat that could be interesting when translated into water pulse rhythms. The beat in this song is characterized by its sharp, staccato-like hits, which could potentially be synchronized effectively with water pulses.

johnefrancis,
@johnefrancis@mastodon.social avatar

@parismarx later in 2024:

ChatGPT, make me a realistic audio track of someone taking a shit.

pretty accurate shit sounds

"Not bad"

parismarx,
@parismarx@mastodon.online avatar

The Verge may as well have gotten ChatGPT to rephrase a Kohler press release: https://www.theverge.com/2024/1/5/24022366/kohler-purewash-e930-bidet-atmo-anthem-ces-2024

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