captainlezbian,

Shorting the shit out of Waffle House and hospitals

mortemtyrannis,

At my hedge fund I pay my intern to trawl through shitter feeds and track hedge fund managers who post on shitter.

I then short their fund.

I’m up eleventeenthirtytwelve percent this year.

FiniteBanjo,

Idk much about this field but according to this study HERE there is a positive gain correlation from investing in WFH companies with no inverse effect on non-WFH companies implying that the gains are more than just positive public perception.

I believe other studies show increased productivity as well.

SeattleRain, (edited )

And then everyone clapped.

Stern,
@Stern@lemmy.world avatar

Then those people gave him a hundred dollars. And on that hundred dollar bill? ALBERT EINSTEIN.

Agent641,

Money counterfeiters be like

sbv,

This is satire. Looking at ChrisJBakke’s Twitter feed, his posts are jokes. You may not like them. They may not be funny. But they’re jokes.

This one echoes a Lemmy post from a few days back:

https://sh.itjust.works/pictrs/image/6943bac8-1134-4710-9849-d0474d507ca1.png

I think we’d have a much better time on Lemmy if we chilled out. OP posts a lot of decent content, there’s no need to shoot the messenger.

Anticorp,

I suppose an attempt at humor is still technically a joke, even when the writer failed to be even remotely funny.

The_Picard_Maneuver,
@The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks. This just happens sometimes on here though, so I usually just leave it be and keep posting. It doesn’t get to me.

I’ve noticed that a significant portion of Lemmy is very literal, so occasionally jokes that rely too much on satire, sarcasm, absurdism, or meta/anti-jokes tend to fall flat.

I thought the idea of someone going to a rich area and shorting the stock of companies whose employees who are sunbathing was a funny bit, but I suppose it’s not if you think the guy is trying to give literal financial advice.

sbv,

You have a thicker skin than I do.

I’ve noticed that a significant portion of Lemmy is very literal, so occasionally jokes that rely too much on satire, sarcasm, absurdism, or meta/anti-jokes tend to fall flat.

Yeah. I feel like Lemmites have some very firmly held beliefs and they will defend them to the death. That isn’t bad - most of us are here because of those beliefs - but it can make for a really bland community.

Thanks for all your posts. I enjoy them.

Bigoldmustard,

There’s a lot of spectrum concentrated here. I’m on the adhd end and my thinking tends towards connections, allegory, and metaphor and I have a real hard time filtering shit down to something people who think extremely literally will like to read.

For me, everything is connected and anything could be a stand in for anything else. Not the case for a lot of people here.

Someone told me not to ask strangers how their day was (like in the real world) if I didn’t really want to know (like that someone’s dad died) and I just had to put my phone down for the rest of the morning. It’s great experience for learning how to talk to others though overall.

corsicanguppy,

Someone told me not to ask strangers how their day was (like in the real world) if I didn’t really want to know

Learn how “how are you doing” is different from “how are you feeling”.

Bigoldmustard,

See you took what I wrote really literally. Thanks this is helpful. What I meant was saying “how’s it going”, but you took it as I would literally ask “how’s your day going”. Like, I would always use quotes to indicate a specific word usage but you have no way of knowing that.

Also I’d never use the same kind of language or approach to anyone I knew personally. Everyone needs something different. There isn’t a formula to get it right without listening and knowing. How are you doing is how are you feeling where I come from btw. How’s it going is hi. How’s your day is “how’s today no details”.

idiomaddict,

Someone told me not to ask strangers how their day was (like in the real world) if I didn’t really want to know (like that someone’s dad died)

To be fair, this is cultural. I’m an American immigrant in Germany, and I’ve unintentionally started that type of conversation a bunch of times. Here, if you ask, it’s not a social cliche, so you shouldn’t be unprepared for a real answer. In American terms, it’d be like putting your hand on someone’s shoulder, looking them in the eye for a moment and asking “how are you?,” then being surprised if they tell you something sad.

Bigoldmustard,

Oh cool that’s good to know!

I had a layover in Frankfurt and my bags didn’t make it on the right flight and the German lady was basically like “I don’t know how you could let this happen”. Nice overall but very direct.

The_Picard_Maneuver,
@The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world avatar

<3

ArmoredThirteen,

I am one of those very literal people and admit to not understanding a lot of satire. I try and keep quiet though until I see other comments so I know what’s going on. Sorry people get after you sometimes, you’re practically the glue holding Lemmy together

The_Picard_Maneuver,
@The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world avatar

Thanks for being cool <3

jol,

Why do you need to subscribe to 10 different streaming services? I always thought this was such a dumb take.

MacNCheezus,
@MacNCheezus@lemmy.today avatar

Because the days where if Netflix or Amazon didn’t have it, it didn’t exist are over. Once the content owners saw how much money there was to be made, they let the streaming licenses expire and built their own platforms instead so they could potentially grab a bigger piece of the pie.

jol,

But do you really need to have immediate access to everything that exists at all times? I only signup for Netflix when I want to watch a certain show, then stop my membership.

Kusimulkku,

I think some do it because a lot of the content they want to watch is spread out

jol,

From my POV those are “power users” nd I find it fair that they pay more than me who watches a couple shows a year and that’s it.

Kusimulkku,

Well yeah

sbv,

I think that’s part of the joke.

jol,

Maybe it is, but I’ve seen people argue about this before… Same like people that used to hate on apple releasing a new phone every year.

z00s,

Something something satire impossible to distinguish something something

Kusimulkku,

I think Lemmings are just extra shit at distinguishing it. Even worse than the folks over at Reddit.

It’s inspiring

figaro,

Honestly Lemmy sucks because people here are all try-hard assholes who are incapable of seeing nuance. Anytime I comment on anything I somehow end up offending some segment of the Marxist left. Which baffles me because I’m rather far left as well, but they are too caught up in trying to prove I am an idiot to realize I’m literally on their side on 99% of topics.

It’s pretty discouraging and I’ve kinda stopped wanting to interact here.

blaine,

My last 6 posts were removed and I was called a Russian troll for daring to suggest that Biden’s support of the Palestinian genocide is going to cost him the election. I’ve given up on commenting and will stick to lurking going forward. As a Bernie supporter who migrated to Portland, OR after Trump won the election in 2016, it feels incredibly weird to be called an Alt-Right or Russian agitator simply for pointing out flaws in the current administration.

CancerMancer,

I think you might be spending too much time in echo chambers if you think Biden’s position on Palestine is what would cost him an election. Most people just do not care enough about this either way to let it affect their vote, regardless of how you and I feel about it.

zarkanian,
@zarkanian@sh.itjust.works avatar

You don’t need a lot of people to care. Just enough to swing the election.

CancerMancer,

Swing the election? Do you mean you’d vote for Trump who has a worse opinion on Palestine? I’m not sure I follow.

zarkanian,
@zarkanian@sh.itjust.works avatar

I wouldn’t vote for Trump. And I don’t think that the danger comes from people voting for Trump instead of Biden. I think it comes from people not voting at all. Supporting Israel depresses turnout, especially with young people.

CancerMancer,

Ok this makes more sense. Still I just don’t see it being the thing that depresses turnout, it’s not even on most people’s top 5 issues.

zarkanian,
@zarkanian@sh.itjust.works avatar

What makes you say that?

ameancow,

people here are all try-hard assholes who are incapable of seeing nuance.

I’m seeing this as more of a societal/cultural problem. I’m getting up there in years and I have never seen a culture so obtuse and ready to argue constantly and I can directly correlate it with the advent of social media and the ability for people to nurture only like-minded communities and never be challenged or have to compromise or even just think.

It’s getting worse all the time, and people with insight and means are using this to influence people and create movements that would have been laughable a couple decades ago. Flat Eartherism? MAGA? Qanon? Rising tides of woman-hating young men living in their own little lonely worlds? Fucking nazis? These are the kinds of absurd trends that might have been relegated to tiny communities of social rejects, not given voice or respect by anyone. Now they’re just growing mobs of people lost in their little safe-spaces losing touch with reality more and more every day.

DarkCloud,

This isn’t White People Twitter, it’s hedge fund loser tries to connect with humanity but comes off looking like an asshole.

Phegan,

There is no way this is true.

sxan,
@sxan@midwest.social avatar

Yeah. I want the name of the hedge fund. It’s not like it being secret will help; they’ve already given away the strategy. No name, no game; bullshit.

Probably written by some C level extrovert whose panties are in a twist because he doesn’t see “butts in seats.” It’s so sad to not be able to roam around your office space lording your position over the peons, boo hoo.

sbv,

It’s written by a C level Twitter shitposting account.

kryptonianCodeMonkey,

Let’s examine the stupidity.

Let’s assume that OP’s assertion that the time and day of the photos is accurate (and who would be shocked to find out it’s bullshit?). Could the people in the photo not be non-remote workers who work evening or night shifts? Restaurant workers for businesses that close between lunch and dinner? People on personal leave or vacation? People who are retired? All of the above? Not every Red-Blooded, Hard-Working American™ has a literal 9-5. Hell they could be stay at home parents taking time for themselves while the kids are in school. Don’t you conservatives love families with stay at home parents?

And even if every single one of those people work remote, does that mean they’re playing hooky? Could they not be on a scheduled break and using that time to enjoy the park? Could they not have flexible schedules that allow them to break up their day into productive chunks with a midday gap? Maybe they work business with overseas companies, so they live on Japanese time. Could they not also be on leave? Working odd shifts?

The point is you don’t know, at all, the situation of any single person in these photographs and you have projected a meaning into it that fits an agenda you are pushing. Your assertion without evidence can be rejected and ignored as easily as it was made. Kindly fuck off back to your hole.

starman2112,
@starman2112@sh.itjust.works avatar

Chris Bakke is a satire account

kryptonianCodeMonkey,

I was ignoring his comment as it’s clearly either satire or bluster. I was commenting on the original post by Zac Solomon.

Halosheep,

Don’t do that, no one cares about that part.

reagansrottencorpse,

It’s laughable that the hedgefund bros actually think they are “working”. These people sunbathing, likely commit much more labor than these dick bags ragging on them.

nkat2112,
@nkat2112@sh.itjust.works avatar

As someone else asked: OP, do you really believe this content?

Aside from how horrible and shortsighted this reasoning is, I also need to ask:

If a stranger asked you who you work for, would you answer?

sugar_in_your_tea,

I’ll respond to the last question: yes. I might lie, but I’ll answer.

In fact, I was at Ikea the other day and a rando asked where I worked, so I told them about the business, but my the name of the company. It turns out they studied something relevant, so we had an interesting conversation.

The company I work for is big enough they wouldn’t be able to dox me or anything, but it is something I’m willing to discuss.

As to the first, I also saw it as 100% a joke, just like the OP. It’s just a funny thought, that’s all.

Shiggles,

And what fucking analyst is walking around asking people sunbathing questions themselves?

CraigeryTheKid,

I get told to go away, or worse, whenever I approach sunbathing women.

“Leave me alone!”

“Stop taking pictures!”

People are just so rude these days.

edgemaster72, (edited )
@edgemaster72@lemmy.world avatar

Have you tried reminding them that there’s no expectation of privacy in public spaces? I’m sure they’d be much more understanding then.

/s since we’re being very literal in the comments today

perviouslyiner,

They’d just buy some mobile phone data: “Give me the current location of every phone that was within fifty metres of my rival company’s christmas party last year

The_Picard_Maneuver,
@The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world avatar

Me? I just thought it was an obvious joke. The person who posted it is clearly not making a serious claim of more that 700% profit in a year. It’s just some light teasing.

AtHeartEngineer,
@AtHeartEngineer@lemmy.world avatar

It is an obvious joke, I thought it was funny and didn’t realize this was going to be so controversial until I looked at the comments

lewdian69,

There’s a ton of “guilty conscience needs no accuser” work from home folks in these comments who had this go way over their heads.

jonman364,

I saw the top post as a joke, the bottom I’m not sure about.

PDFuego,
@PDFuego@lemmy.world avatar

I work a minimum of 24h across a typical Saturday and Sunday to get that Tuesday off.

WhyDoYouPersist,

That’s fucking gross I’m sorry

conditional_soup,

I wonder about the assertion that these are WFHers and not a bunch of useless middle management and above types with nothing better to be doing.

Plus, BS jobs aren’t a new phenomenon. There’s no shortage of people whose jobs comprise maybe 2 hours of actual work a day, and the other 30 hours are basically just done for looks/tradition. WFH allows everyone to give the 40 hr desk-sitting tradition a five finger salute and everyone’s happy; the work gets done, and the worker doesn’t have to spend 3/4 of their time twiddling their thumbs. Plus, the business doesn’t need as large of an office.

Lemminary,

Plus, the business doesn’t need as large of an office.

“But we’re paying for it!!”

Have you tried not paying for it?

Gullible,

Most gargantuan businesses own the property. Following that, if wfh becomes ubiquitous, their property is devalued and their investment is worth less or worthless. Doesn’t matter whether this would improve the bottom line in a year or two, the next three quarters is everything. Growing the business is irrelevant if you are replaced or fired for your foresight.

Trainguyrom,

Easy middle ground is hybrid work. You get to see your coworkers faces in person occasionally plus everyone gets all of remote work benefits. It’s win-win-win

originalfrozenbanana,

Well obviously it couldn’t be the job creators, they’re busy creating jobs \so

sbv,

I wonder about the assertion that these are WFHers and not a bunch of useless middle management and above types with nothing better to be doing.

There is undoubtedly a significant overlap between the two.

givesomefucks,

Who the fuck listens to blue check marks on X?

Like, OP do you actually believe this shit?

If some 80s gogo Reaganaunt knew “one simple trick” to put profits up 7x he’s sure as fuck not telling a single soul.

But this is the stupid shit they’d do if they had a financial incentive to push return to office, like long term investments in corporate real estate…

Transporter_Room_3,
@Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website avatar

Are you asking The Picard Maneuver if they believe the post is genuine, if they believe the person posting to twitter is actually up 700%, or if they believe it’s a good strategy?

Because I’m 99% sure those all have the same “no” as an answer.

Based on the rest of the comment im assuming #2.

Anyone who actually thinks the poster really is up 700%, hit me up, I’ve got some bridges you might be interested in purchasing.

sugar_in_your_tea,

Everyone, this poster is legit. I got a bridge from them last year and I’m up 800%! Way better than OP who had to go outside and walk in a park to only get 700%.

vorpuni,
@vorpuni@jlai.lu avatar

So many discounts on those investment funds for office real estate nowadays, you can tell they’re trying to attract the naive and uninformed.

I_Clean_Here,

It’s a joke, man. Ever heard of satire?

mynachmadarch,

Satire involves actually being funny and criticizing stupidity. "Hurr hurr lazy" is neither.

Socsa, (edited )

Lemmy: Decapitate the rich looooool get it queen!

Also Lemmy: do not insult my work from homearinos.

Zagorath,
@Zagorath@aussie.zone avatar

You do realise this is being posted to make fun of Zac and Chris, and not the people in the park, right?

HootinNHollerin, (edited )

lemmy poster is one of the most prolific poster of good content on lemmy. No idea about actual op

Neato,
@Neato@ttrpg.network avatar

I often have a lot of time where nothing needs doing and there’s no meetings. The idea you always have to be working and creating is dumb as it means you always overwork everyone and miss targets. It’s better to have people standing by a % of the time than to be unable to perform when needed. It’s the entire concept of IT as well.

sharkfucker420,
@sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml avatar

The businesses can fail if it means I can lay in the sun on a tuesday afternoon

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