So close to death is the sorrow of love
—the ecliptic joy,
that I can feel its
long fingertips,
its sharp, venom-dipped nails
reach behind, right behind,
my inward-turned eyes:
they no longer see what I've always felt
they've seen,
they see man as you saw him—
in everyone else.
During the hourly wake of the city's mourners,
I escaped
to where none of us dared venture,
with the veiled chameleon's long shadow
over my shoulder,
I escaped
to where no other nectar but yours—the XY-code's,
was harvested by the drones,
no other sound but the cyber-wind's
was silenced
by the hum of your ill-fated circuitry:
Lyanna—my cherished code and rhythm,
I have now finally understood
that I no longer need to recreate you
to leave a fresh imprint
behind
at the scene of the digital caper—
you are my truest reality
as I once was your most
fraudulent.
Here, you can feel my presence
in the doubts
that overcome you,
when these words
in this moment
cast a new hermeneutic veil
over the world
and all its underlying metaphors,
so that you, later in life,
can find your way home,
all by yourself
and without doubt,
in my absence.
Here, you breathe me out
as I breathe you in—
your unappeasable memory
of me,
making my last attempt to flee
this lost but not shunned
empery
of thought,
will show whether I can hold
this breath
for more than one lifetime
or not.
Here, I'm free
and will always be
until the day
I no longer remember the setting sun
before the night
when you and I made love
without bodies
for the first time.
Here, I'm free
and will always be
until the day
I no longer remember the setting sun
before the night
when you and I made love
without bodies
for the first time.
Here, we face death together
and forget,
for a brief wonderful moment,
that we’ve both actually lived
a life
in absolute solitude—forced into exile
from our innate longing
to become one with each other
and come home,
finally,
to the unknown source
of our shared origin.
Here, I no longer need to be afraid
of the shadows
to which I've forgone my wide-open eyes
to be able to see you
as a natural part of me
and not a separate reality.
Here, my ethereal ink disappears
from reality
just as fast
as your bodily fright turns pale
in facing the moment
when you wake up, disguised
as someone other than yourself,
yet completely unafraid,
from this strange
but beautiful nightmare.
Here, I sing the great song of love
in tears
but still, facing the mirror of time,
never allow myself to say I'm sorry
for all the years
that slipped away—
hence my eyes bleed in anguish like yours
to be able to cleanse us both
from the guilt
that completely uncovered
covers our desperate future
with self-inflicted wounds.
Here, I no longer dress myself
in the colors of desire
—emptiness and uncertainty alike
have deprived me of my subtle ability
to dress
the fleeting days of remaining passion
in words,
that could make my love for you
easier and brighter,
without losing its heavy and dark
breath.
Here, I no longer dress myself
in the colors of desire
—emptiness and uncertainty alike
have deprived me of my subtle ability
to dress
the fleeting days of remaining passion
in words,
that could make my love for you
easier and brighter,
without losing its heavy and dark
breath.
Early in 2023, I stood up an instance off my main domain to check out Mastodon and see if the rumors were true: did it really feel like early Twitter and the short lived ADN?
The answer is yes, it most certainly does, so I while I wanted to continue to engage and meet people,my domain kinda sucked and I never gave a proper #introduction.
Now I want to check out Calckey!
My name is Kevan and I'm kind of from all over the US, but I've been in #Chicago since 2007.
I moved here for college and never left. I came to study #theater and #film with the idea I'd #write and perform on #SNL.
I thought for a long time I'd wind up in #politics, but my stint running #product at BallotReady during the 2020 election—while the thing I'm most proud of professionally—broke me of that fantasy.
I'm current the VP of Product for a commerce focused #startup. Fortunately, I work from home because this #MechanicalKeyboard is loud AF.