DarthPutinKGB

DarthPutinKGB, 4 months ago to random

By this day in 2002 all Russian soldiers in Moldova and Georgia were promised to be removed.

They were not. But please believe us when we negotiate now about our soldiers in Ukraine.

DarthPutinKGB, 4 months ago to random

Having failed to win the war by bombing Ukrainian civilians I am attempting to win it by bombing Russian civilians.

I remain a master strategist.

DarthPutinKGB, 4 months ago to random

Now that we have shelled ourselves for the first time in our history, it’s important to remember that “falling missile debris” is now no longer a valid excuse.

I thank my trolls for their continued mental gymnastics.

DarthPutinKGB, 4 months ago to random

We bombed a maternity hospital in Dnipro. My guide:
-It never happened.
-They were Nazis so deserved what didn't happen
-They were crisis actors
-What didn't happen to all the Nazis who deserved it/crisis actors who staged it was on the site of a biolab
-What about Iraq?

Repeat

DarthPutinKGB, 5 months ago to random

I shot down MH17 and killed hundreds of Dutch people. Now the Dutch are ready to send F-16s.

The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.

DarthPutinKGB, 5 months ago to random

OTD in 2016 Assange said there isn't a need for @wikileaks in Russia cos there are “competitors like @Navalny”.

Whom we tried to kill. More than once. And jailed. And now disappeared, presumed dead.

DarthPutinKGB, 5 months ago to random

Day 667 of my 3 day war. I lost 3 of my most advanced* fighters to a country whose Air Force we have destroyed 5 times.

I remain a master strategist

DarthPutinKGB, 5 months ago to random

Have warned Finland that seeing as they betrayed me & joined @nato I will be forced to sink my ships off their coast as well.

DarthPutinKGB, 5 months ago to random

Russia has no plans to invade:

Moldova..
On Georgian territory
Ok but no Ukrainian territory.
Ok, Just Crimea
Ok, just Crimea & part of Donetsk
Ok, Just Crimea & all of Donetsk
Ok, Just Crimea & all of Donetsk, Kherson, Luhansk & Zaporizhzhia
Ok, all of Ukraine

But not NATO…

DarthPutinKGB, 5 months ago to random

My presser today was a loser’s speech on winning

DarthPutinKGB, 5 months ago to random

Russian goals remain unchanged & tho it’s not a war there won’t be peace until we achieve them.

Whatever they are this week.

DarthPutinKGB, 5 months ago to random

We have destroyed 770 Ukrainian tanks, 760 of which they captured from us.

I remain a master strategist.

DarthPutinKGB, 5 months ago to random

Say 659 of my 3 day war. I am losing more soldiers every 5 days than USA lost in Afghanistan in 20 years.

I remain a master strategist

DarthPutinKGB, 5 months ago to random

Navalny disappearing shows Russia’s elections are free. Of opposition candidates.

DarthPutinKGB, 5 months ago to random

Today is Russian constitution day. This documents guarantees citizens freedom to protest. Just not freedom after protest.

I remain a master strategist.

DarthPutinKGB, 5 months ago to random

OTD in 2016 I denied we doped Russian athletes. Before I admitted we did in 2018, 2 of our anti-doping officials died “unexpectedly”, another fled to USA & a whistleblower in hiding had her data hacked.

DarthPutinKGB, 5 months ago to random

Your Prez’s predictions age well

DarthPutinKGB, 5 months ago to random

OTD in 2021 General Gerasimov said Russia had no plans to invade Ukraine.

Turns out we did have a plan, just a really shit one

DarthPutinKGB, 5 months ago to random

Da. I have decided to run for President again. I have not yet decided by how much I will win.

DarthPutinKGB, 5 months ago to random

It is 2029. Emperor Xi masses his military to invade Taiwan. Tankies claim CNN put them there. Republicans wonder what gave China the idea they could attack Taiwan….

I remain a master strategist.

DarthPutinKGB, 5 months ago to random

It is 100 days until I c̶a̶n̶ ̶s̶t̶a̶r̶t̶ ̶g̶e̶n̶e̶r̶a̶l̶ ̶m̶o̶b̶i̶l̶i̶s̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ Russian presidential “election”.

DarthPutinKGB, 5 months ago to random

OTD in 1991 Belovezha Accords ending USSR were signed. As signatory Russia promised to recognise sovereignty of the other parties. Including Ukraine’s. Lol.