@GriffinGroup@mstdn.social
@GriffinGroup@mstdn.social avatar

GriffinGroup

@GriffinGroup@mstdn.social

Retired engineer, marketeer and business owner.

Co-Founder of Glastock Festival, a not for profit music festival.

Loves #Music, #Science, #Tech, #TheOcean, #Festivals, #Photography, #SciFi, #DrWho, #Astronomy, #Puns, #DadJokes, #Crypto & most of all, #Life.

I intend to live forever, so far so good.

:birdsite: Participant in the great birdsite migration of 2022.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

GriffinGroup, to puns
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Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens...

They're calling it the Apollo G

GriffinGroup, to puns
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My wife told our son not to play with electricity...

Now he’s grounded.

#Puns #DadJokes

GriffinGroup, to puns
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Science puns make me numb...

Math puns make me number.

GriffinGroup, to puns
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My wife wouldn’t stop criticising me for having a terrible sense of direction...

So, I packed my bags and right.

GriffinGroup, to puns
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A threesome involves three people, a twosome involves two people...

That's why they call me handsome.

GriffinGroup, to puns
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I once swallowed a bunch of synonyms...

It gave me thesaurus throat I've ever had.

GriffinGroup, to puns
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How many clickbait articles does it take to screw in a lightbulb?...

The answer will shock you!

GriffinGroup, to puns
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I was horrified when my wife told me that my six year old son wasn't actually mine...

Apparently, I need to pay more attention during school pick-ups.

GriffinGroup, to puns
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My wife caught me standing on the bathroom scales, sucking in my stomach...

That’s not going to help, she said.
Sure it does, I said.
It’s the only way I can see the numbers.

GriffinGroup, to puns
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Went to the shop to get eight cans of Sprite...

When I got home, I realised I’d only picked seven up.

GriffinGroup, to puns
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What do you call Frosty with a 6-pack?...

An abdominal snowman.

GriffinGroup, to puns
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I've just found out that my wife is getting me a universal remote for Christmas...

That changes everything.

GriffinGroup, to puns
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This morning Siri said "Don't call me Shirley"...

I accidentally left my phone on airplane mode.

GriffinGroup, to puns
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The guy who invented the Ferris Wheel never met the guy who invented the Merry-go-Round...

They travelled in different circles.

GriffinGroup, to puns
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The inventor of autocorrect has died...

His funeral will be held tomato

#Puns #DadJokes

GriffinGroup, to puns
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I used to be an amateur crastinator...

Before I went pro.

GriffinGroup, to puns
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How do you determine how heavy a chili pepper is?...

Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now

GriffinGroup, to puns
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My son asked if I was named after my dad...

I said, “of course I was, he was born years before me.”

GriffinGroup, to puns
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Elton John brought his rabbit to the gym...

It's a little fit bunny

GriffinGroup, to puns
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My wife asked if i could stop singing Wonderwall...

I said maybe

GriffinGroup, to puns
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I made a huge mistake challenging Death to a pillow fight...

I was not prepared for the reaper cushions.

GriffinGroup, to puns
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I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81...

He said no.

GriffinGroup, to puns
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I'm not allowed to eat anything too suite...

I've got typo diabetes.

GriffinGroup, to puns
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Man - Do you have any two-watt bulbs?

Cashier - For what?

Man - ok, that'll do. I'll take two

Cashier - Two what?

Man - I thought you didn't have any?

Cashier - Any what?

Man - ok then! Two.

Cashier - What?!

Man - Exactly!

GriffinGroup, to puns
@GriffinGroup@mstdn.social avatar

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with revenge...

We’ll see about that.

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