markwyner, 3 hours ago to dadjokes

Me: I built a model of Mt. Everest.

Wife: is it to scale? Me: no, it’s to look at.

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault

punfinity, 1 day ago to puns

"See you Later Alligator" & "In a white crocodile" Puns might have become old.
Therefore, in the article, we'll the the newest in line and best alligator puns.
#puns #humor #alligator #jokes

https://punfinity.com/alligator-puns/

markwyner, 8 days ago to dadjokes

Landlord: we need to talk about the heating bill.

Me: sure, my door is always open.

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault

markwyner, 9 days ago to dadjokes

Most math puns aren’t funny.

But sum are.

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault #Math

daddyjoker, 9 days ago to dadjokes

OK, so naked running.
Apparently this means running without GPS, music and any other tech.
I wish I knew this an hour ago.
#DailyDadJoke #DadJokes #Puns

markwyner, 10 days ago to dadjokes

My friend: have you even heard a word I’ve said?

Me: what an odd way to begin a conversation.

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault #ADHD #ImSorry

stina_marie, 12 days ago to Meme

It's Monday again.

Have a laugh, but try not to get too fired up today. 🔥

#meme #funny #horror @horror #puns #MotherSuspiriasMorningMeme

markwyner, 14 days ago to dadjokes

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent.

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault

slawek, 17 days ago to puns

• so how do you feel about your NDA agreement?
• can't complain, really

#puns

markwyner, 19 days ago to dadjokes

The only difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac is a comma.

A literalist takes everything literally. A kleptomaniac takes everything, literally.

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault

markwyner, 21 days ago to dadjokes

What’s the best thing about living in Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault

GriffinGroup, 21 days ago to puns

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens...

They're calling it the Apollo G

#Puns #DadJokes

markwyner, 24 days ago to dadjokes

Are oranges called oranges because oranges are orange?

Or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault #Colors

astroPug, 25 days ago to puns

Googled “bad puns”

One of the search result is titled “A collection of bad puns”.

I haven’t looked at it but it seems like a pretty neat indie band name.

#badPuns #puns #Bandnames

donwatkins, 25 days ago to puns

Electric vehicles pass gas! #puns

markwyner, 28 days ago to dadjokes

Love it!

Credit:
https://www.iflscience.com/

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault #ActuallyItIsMyFault #Science #Earthquakes

Cute animation of two large chunks of earth talking to each other. They’re sharing a fault line. The one telling the joke smiles large when the music plays while the other looks angry.

Paperposts, 28 days ago to Humor

This is why I love mastodon and stay here. @dgar keeps me smiling, and encourages the best from people
#Humor #puns

markwyner, 29 days ago to dadjokes

Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault

wmj1102, 29 days ago to Funny

I was so unpopular at school they called me "Batteries.”

I'm never included in anything. #Funny #Comedy #Humor #Puns #DadJokes

markwyner, 1 month ago to dadjokes

What do you call a beehive without an exit?

Unbelievable.

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault #Bees

markwyner, 1 month ago to dadjokes

A ship carrying red paint and a ship carrying blue paint collide in the middle of the ocean.

Both crews were marooned.

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault

negativeprimes, 1 month ago to Jokes

My oldest kid said someone should start a YouTube channel where folks discuss predestination while working out at the gym. It would be called "Calvin & Abs."

#jokes #puns #religion

WearsHats, 1 month ago to puns

When it comes to rating citrus, lemons are sublime.

They're just not grate. I have no zest for them.

#puns #dadjokes

markwyner, 1 month ago to dadjokes

What do you call friends you like to eat with?

Taste buds.

#DadJokes #Puns #NotMyFault #Food

wmj1102, 1 month ago to Funny

I was never able to use the Wi-Fi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.

Now I have a stable connection. #Funny #Comedy #Humor #Puns #DadJokes