ashleyspencer

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

I suspect, based on what my psychiatrist told me when he raised the strattera, the medication I take in the morning for depression blocks dopamine and serotonin receptors.

ADHD is made worse by low dopamine levels.

So I think my morning med is making the ADHD worse.

But it's either take it and stay out of chemical depression, or be depressed and struggle less with ADHD.

I have an appointment with him tomorrow and will find out more and see if anything can be done.

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to actuallyautistic

I think it’s safe to assess the results of my poll.

Totaled across 3 social media sites:

583 people voted

I’m autistic / I’m ADHD - 165 votes

I’m autistic / Have ADHD - 360 votes

Have autism / Have ADHD - 53 votes

Have autism / I’m ADHD - 5 votes

There’s no right or wrong answer with how you choose to identify yourself.

@actuallyautistic @audhd

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

The manufacturer sent me photos of my Heart chew necklace pendant with the necklace string attached.

They added the adjustable necklace string, made the hole bigger so it would fit, and raised the little dip part up a little so it won’t fall off.

It’s perfect! I love it! 😍

I’m going to order the dark pink and red colors.

The heart chew pendant and adjustable necklace string.

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago (edited 1 month ago) to actuallyautistic

For AuDHD:

Which terms do you prefer to use?

Do you use ‘have’ or ‘I am’ to describe your autism and ADHD?

Personally, I’m the first one and use ‘I am’ to describe both.

Just curious to see how common each one is. 🙂

#AuDHD

@actuallyautistic
@audhd

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

Me and my little husky plush went to the store to get snacks and other stuff.

I made myself leave because I haven’t gone anywhere in a few weeks. Only open the door to put out the trash.

Brought the plushie along on my lap for moral support.

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

I saw someone say today that cats are a reflection of their owners.

Must be why every cat I've ever had becomes needy and affectionate after I adopted them. All of them also bossed me around, and gave me lots of cuddles in exchange for my servitude.

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

I’m exhausted from a long hard day of doing nothing.

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

I put my LinkedIn account into Hibernate (deactivate). It’s nothing but trash. All connection requests and InMail messages trying to sell me their business services and organizations/charities wanting money from me. Got tired of deleting connection requests and blocking messages, so just deactivated.

Good riddance.

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

I’ve been thinking maybe it’s time to raise my dosage of my non-stimulant ADHD med.

Looked up the max dosage of Strattera (100mg) and I’m already at 80mg.

I can’t take a stimulant because it would make me manic, and that’s very very bad.

Oh well. Just have to learn to manage.

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

I got the strangest store message today. Someone emailed me straight up asking for the manufacturer name and catalog number of a chew necklace in my store. All that falls under the trade secrets and privileged information. Such a strange question.

Just said they were trying to buy the chew necklace and needed the manufacturer info for their procurement team, which is who purchases directly from manufacturers to sell in their own stores. Why on earth would I give a random stranger that info.

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to ADHD

I had a Rockstar energy drink, coffee, and a small Red Bull can, and it made me so sleepy I passed out for 14 minutes and woke up feeling like I slept an hour.

Energy drinks are supposed to make me functional, not take a nap after 240mg energy drink caffeine + whatever 4oz coffee is.

Damn ADHD lol.

Energy drinks do this to anyone else?

#ADHD #AuDHD
@adhd

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

Nikita doesn’t allow me to eat alone.

She came up to me while I was eating my dinner and starts asking me to pet her (she’s an affection eater).

Me: why do I always got to pet you while I eat, why can’t you pet me while I eat?

Nikita: pets me by rubbing her head all over my leg and arm

Sweet kitty. :RedHearts:

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

Today is the AuDHD “I’m too tired to do anything so I’m just going to eat cereal and play a game all day because I can’t function enough to do anything else.”

And the “I really need to shower but that requires too much effort.”

#AuDHD #ActuallyAutistic

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

I got an alert that my YouTube channel reached 50 subscribers. All my views are going to one video. The “5 Signs I Didn’t Know Were Demiromantic” video.

Which is ironic considering I realized I’m not demiromantic, I’m 100% aromantic.

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

I did a lot of thinking and Autistic Bookshop needs to diversify it's income sources.

30% profit at an average of $1.97 on book sales means the store will never pay for itself.

So I created a merch collection to help.

I had some reading and writing themed designs already, so will add more later.

Google should eventually bring people to this once the store has built up some authority, which is mainly how a merch collection will help.

https://autisticbookshop.com/collections/merch

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to ADHD

Lately the ADHD has taken over.

I’ve been unable to work, can’t clean, not getting anything done. Always too burned out to function.

But today I got the hyperfocus part of ADHD.

Mostly it’s like, I’m incapable of functioning.

I’ve gone weeks unable to function. I can drink 2 energy drinks and still barely function.

Today I woke up full of energy and in hyperfocus hyper speed work mode, so I just rolled with it. Tomorrow I could be nonfunctional again. It’s so unpredictable 🙃

#AuDHD #ADHD

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to actuallyautistic

Any autistic artists who are also book lovers want to create some t-shirt designs for me?

Book loving and writing themes.

It’s for Autistic Bookshop.

30% from the authors book sales alone is nowhere near enough to break even (need 500 books sold a month), so added merch.

Example below.

#ActuallyAutistic
@actuallyautistic

All I need is my cat and a good book t-shirt in a pink color
I am always writing a story in my head t-shirt in a navy color

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

I think I figured out why it’s so hard for me to keep up with TikTok and YouTube.

When I was a kid I had a monotone voice and expressionless face. I trained myself to do vocal fluctuations that make me sound bubbly and friendly.

I also learned to smile a lot because it made me socially acceptable.

Covid masks allowed me to sound bubbly while straight faced.

When on video, I’m doing the bubbly voice I trained myself to do, and consciously making happy facial expressions. It’s very draining.

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago (edited 1 month ago) to random

I read a post elsewhere where someone said ND people can be brilliant entrepreneurs, scientists, etc and function well in society. And if someone struggles to function means they are disordered and have a developmental disability. Said it as if its either or.

Which is very strange because I’m an entrepreneur and I don’t function well in society.

Am I supposed to be a “brilliant entrepreneur” only and not struggle to function?

And since I struggle it means I’m developmentally disabled? What?

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

I don’t know what is with me today. I’m so tired. I slept 9 hours last night plus naps all morning. I feel like I’ve slept half the day. Just sort of hanging around waiting for it to be bedtime. 4 hours to go. yawn

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

Coloring got my brain off the triggered spiral train and distracted me.

All those memories came up, but my world didn’t fall apart and I’m still safe.

I survived a really sh*t life, so I can be thankful I turned out the way I did. It means I’m a tough mofo. 😄

I have a new tool for my business that is fixing ALL my stock supply issues, and I've been absorbed in that. It's gotten me excited about something again. Good after having a triggered mental breakdown the last few days.

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

It’s been an emotionally rough day full of crying meltdowns, so I colored in the coloring book I made to help me calm down.

It’s nice when something you made a long time ago to help other people helps you put a positive affirmation into your mind when you’re struggling.

We all deserve happy autistic lives. :RedHearts: :RainbowInfinity:

#ActuallyAutistic

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

I got the manufactured plushie.

It’s AWFUL. I hate it.

They ensured me the fabric would be very soft and it feels rough. Super unpleasant to touch.

It’s supposed to be a cat holding an infinity symbol but it doesn’t look like a cat in person.

What the f did they do 😭

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

Petting our cat and/or dog (or other furry pets) can be a soothing autistic stim.

We may pet them without realizing we are stimming, which can lead to some happy animals who very much enjoy this stim of ours.

This also applies to plushies too if you don’t have a pet.

#ActuallyAutistic

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

I think the biggest sign I’m autistic when I was a kid is that I didn’t know what a lie was until I was 10 years old.

My dad asked me and my friend if we finished our homework and she said yes, but we didn’t. I was so shocked and didn’t understand what happened so I didn’t say anything.

After she left my dad had to sit me down and explain what a lie was, and by not speaking the truth that is also lying. I had a hard time understanding.

To me, all that existed was the truth.

#ActuallyAutistic