ashleyspencer

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

I need to stop this falling asleep before 7pm thing. Woke up just before 12am and 2 hours later I was still awake.

Whenever I wake up within 1-2 hours of getting enough sleep, I can’t fall back asleep.

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

Nikita was hanging out with me like she wanted my attention and cuddles, and then I fed her and she went to her tree.

I told her, “You act like you wanted my attention and then I feed you and you’re like bye”

She immediately came over like I’m sorry here you can pet me. So I put down my devices and pet her for a while. She’s still lying next to me. :)

I don’t know how much English she understands, but after 11 years with me she has to understand some of the stuff I say.

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

My dreams are like movies.

Last night I dreamt I was living the same day over and over again.

But then I started making different decisions and changing things in the day because I couldn’t handle living the same day repeatedly.

Every time the day repeated, I would change more of what happens until the day went completely different.

Woke up and never got to find out what happens next.

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

I got the chew necklace samples I had manufactured.

I’m pretty angry at them right now.

I wanted them to make a chew necklace! These are pendants and the hole is too small for necklace strings!!

HUGE oversight on their part.

I’m going to test the silicone for durability next and hopefully that is at least good.

They need to remake these and send them to me again. Why would they not say hey this hole is too small, we should make it bigger so the strings fit. Ugh!!

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

I’ve been chewing on my Heart Chew Necklace pendants, despite not being able to attach a chain yet.

I really like them. Good squish. Flexible. Durable. Texture is great.

Out of the 3 colors I picked, I like these 2 the best.

My chew necklace designing skills are a success! :)

Just need to tweak the necklace hole to make it big enough for the chain, and it will be good to go.

I’ll order these 2 in bulk once they fix the hole issue.

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

My manufactured plushie is done!

I just need to pay them the $45 shipping and they’ll send it to me.

I’m nervous about the design because I’ve never designed a plushie before and have no idea if it is sellable or not.

It’s also hard to tell from their photos because the lighting is so dark, and I haven’t seen and felt the fabric in person yet.

I hope it’s good. The design is what was in my head. nervously crossing fingers

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

Today was the first time in a while that I’ve worked. Other than the usual maintenance like processing orders once a day. It felt good to work.

I have done better lately though. Today was running on fumes, but the stuff I did needed to be done, like fixing the UK and EU shipping settings for the clothing.

It made me want to do more, but my brain physically can’t. But I have been better about not pushing myself so much. Just been playing a lot of FarmVille since it’s a simple easy game.

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

So after talking with my clothing printer and a tax accountant...

I could have been selling my Autistic Clothing collection to the EU and UK this whole time ever since I switched printers who can print and ship within.

The way my printer does stuff, applying to do business within makes it pointless. All that work and effort for nothing! sigh lol

So everyone in UK and EU can order the clothing now. Yay!

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

I made a part 2 to my Autistic Burnout infographic. :RainbowInfinity:

#ActuallyAutistic

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago (edited 1 month ago) to random

I made my first infographic. :)

Since I’m going through a bad autistic burnout myself, seems like a good topic to make a graphic about. Might be relatable for someone.

:RainbowInfinity:

#ActuallyAutistic

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to actuallyautistic

I googled “autism and traumatic brain injury” hoping to find something about living with both at the same time.

ALL the results were studies done to see if TBIs cause autism. 😒

Not one article, reddit post, quora post, was about living with both. Ugh.

@actuallyautistic

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

I think my slow injured brain might be made worse by autistic burnout.

Pushed myself HARD recently to get business stuff done + work on my inner world with therapy.

While me developing self-worth for the first time is a good thing, it was still quite emotionally taxing to get there.

I feel like I’ve transformed in every way since I cut off the super toxic relationship too. Adjusting also took a lot out of me.

I think all combined has me in autistic burnout. I’m barely functional lately.

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

Now that I put on my store contact us form to not ask me for donated stim toys, and don’t ask me for money. Now I’m getting asked to pay a foundation $350 to set up a table at their neurodiversity event and sell my stim toys. That’s ridiculous. They’re still asking for money. This is pathetic.

These organizations need to stop trying to take advantage of me. I’m just a little store. It’s maddening.

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago (edited 1 month ago) to random

I've been fighting my brain trying to make it faster for years, but I think I have to accept this slowed down brain is just how it is.

I think the times where I'm full of energy, can work all day, and get so much done, those days were likely just hypomania.

Being autistic + ADHD + brain injury means that my brain is going to have it's limits, as much as my pride wants to think I can always be a machine.

Nothing else I can do, but just do my best to work within my limitations.

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to actuallyautistic

I finally see myself and my business as separate entities.

I’m not trying to be an “influencer” or public figure, I genuinely just want to help autistic people see ourselves in a better way and encourage us to find who we are.

Because so many people have told me how much sharing these experiences and encouragement has helped them, it drives me to want to uplift more of us.

1/4

@actuallyautistic

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to actuallyautistic

It wasn’t that long ago when I had zero self-worth and no self-esteem.

It was obliterated by a lifetime of people bullying me because I’m different, but I didn’t know I’m autistic most of my life.

Because I didn’t know, I landed in so many bad situations I blamed myself for getting into. Naively trusting people and taking their word literally. I didn’t know that my autistic default was to forget lying exists.

1/4

@actuallyautistic

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

Every day I’m finding my voice in the autistic community more and more.

I’ve really struggled with my business social media because I felt like I didn’t have anything to say about autism, but I think it was just because I had no idea who I am.

Now that I have self-worth and self-esteem for the first time, I’m finding that I do have things I want to say.

And how I want to say them. Making simple text graphics telling stories of my autistic experiences is resonating with people. It’s nice. :)

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

Realized yesterday just how much neurotypicals infantilize us.

The biggest outrage people have with me and my store is “taking advantage of people with disabilities”

That’s essentially saying autistic adults aren’t capable of making our own educated decisions on what we’d like to buy, and I’m some bad person “selling people with autism things they don’t need.”

Ridiculous nonsense.😒

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

All of Kathleen’s social media outreach for Autistic Bookshop is reaching more authors. We’re getting more author submissions. :)

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to animals

This made me laugh lol

#CatsOfMastodon

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

I can deal with the trolls and people who take me not having a diagnosis like I personally offended them and committed an injustice. But that’s just nonsense.

Trolls are nothing but an annoying nuisance.

Even without a diagnosis, YOU are valid and don’t let anyone make you feel lesser than because of it. ❤️

#ActuallyAutistic

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

I went to the store for energy drinks in my new summer clothes. Figured maybe I’d try Red Bull again to wake me up because I’m just so groggy and non-functional all the time lately. I was a little more awake today because I took a morning nap.

While out I decided to just go return all the Amazon stuff already packed in my backpack. My wheelchair can really go over some tough terrain! I went the wrong way and had to go over grass and rocks.

It was good to get out in my new clothes.

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to actuallyautistic

I did a very autistic thing and bought summer clothes in 2 to 4 packs.

I am now the proud owner of:

• 9 capri leggings in 4 colors.

• 10 of the same tank top all in different colors.

• 4 bike shorts in different colors.

• 17 autistic t-shirts from my store in 5 different colors (they come in more colors, I just buy the same colors lol)

I will officially wear the same outfits every day in various colors when both sleeping and being outside in the heat lol

@actuallyautistic

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

As an aromantic, this is accurate lol :Aro:

ashleyspencer, 1 month ago to random

I’d really like to sell bookmarks in Autistic Bookshop. Maybe once I get all my equipment for shipping the plushies and chew necklaces I can look into it. They’re small and thin enough to fit in the mail slot in the mail room at my apartments.