@bransonturner@mastodon.social
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

bransonturner

@bransonturner@mastodon.social

Awards include "Best Hustle," "Most Improved," and 4 time winner of "Perfect Attendance."

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

GottaLaff, to random
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

"A GOP senator, quoted anonymously, told Vanity Fair, "The pain from 's polio leaves him totally paralyzed sometimes, like unable to walk or move or even speak because it hurts so bad…. The pain that used to be confined to his leg causes, like, a spasm up his spine that takes over his entire body." https://www.rawstory.com/mcconnells-health-fuel-talk-of-possible-replacement-as-gop-senator-notes-hes-totally-paralyzed-sometimes-2662755702/

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@GottaLaff no wonder he's such a hateful piece of shit.

GottaLaff, to legal
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

Exclusive: documents case judge made multiple errors in earlier trial

made two key errors in a June trial, one of which violated a fundamental constitutional right of the defendant and could have invalidated the proceedings, according to legal experts and a court transcript.

https://www.reuters.com/legal/trump-documents-case-judge-made-multiple-errors-earlier-trial-2023-08-04/

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@GottaLaff the "unusual" plea deal where the defendant kept his appeal rights has got to be the prosecutor thinking "omg, we're going to lose this because the judge is going to screw it up!"

clive, to random
@clive@saturation.social avatar

“Clive” is a kind of weird name in the US

Every so often, a service worker asks if my name is pronounced “C-Live”

As if I were a DJ or something

I’m tempted to roll with it

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@harmonicarichard @clive Those last three make up C-Live Crew.

bransonturner, to random
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

The key to putting away a super bouncy ball is to throw it in the exact opposite place you want it to end up. (Cc @zoomar)

clive, to random
@clive@saturation.social avatar

How do you cool down lions and tigers in a zoo, during a massive heat wave?

You make for them …

… some “bloodsicles”: https://slate.com/human-interest/2023/07/dallas-zoo-bloodsicles-zoologist-summer-heat-wave.html

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@clive My 6 year old is at dinosaur camp this week, and this is still his favorite fact of the week, so far.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

The way the United States is structured into regions is bonkers to me. Somehow Minnesota and North Dakota are the Midwest (to whom?! Canada), but Texas is not the Southwest?! It feels like the Regions are named by someone who hadn't seen it all yet.

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@GayDeceiver @mentallyalex @RickiTarr Texans really are the spiritual descendants of Davey Crockett: a Tennessee congressman who spent so much time hunting instead of representing his constituents, he was booted from office; a guy who threw a tantrum and moved to Texas, only to decide to help make a stand at the Alamo--a strategically useless (and so un-reinforced) mission with poor battlements--only to be overrun almost immediately, and then captured sneaking out the back in women's clothes.

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@mentallyalex @trochee @GayDeceiver @RickiTarr I moved from Tx to NYC when I was 17, firmly believing the Civil War was a states- rights issue. 😳

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@mentallyalex @trochee @GayDeceiver @RickiTarr oh, man, GayDeceiver boosting this like: look at this ignorant ass over here!! 😀😀😀

VeryBadLlama, to random
@VeryBadLlama@mas.to avatar

the only thing worse than having parents who don't support your comedy is having parents who do support your comedy and ask you every day if you've tried sending your resume to SNL

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@VeryBadLlama "it's called a packet, Mom. The thing SNL has rejected eleven times is a packet!"

clive, to random
@clive@saturation.social avatar

When I get some time free I'm gonna program a version of Pac-Man where you play as the fruit

Tight close-up on the part of the maze where you appear

When you appear, you have no control over anything

All you do is wait

And wonder

If you're going to get eaten

You can hear, in the distance, the sounds of the game; see the ghosts go by; hear the approach of Pac-Man, hear him fade further away

If you don't get eaten in that round, you score one point

If you do get eaten, the game's over

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@clive this is the accurate version of TRON.

w7voa, to random
@w7voa@journa.host avatar

Freshman Republican Rep. Derrick Van Orden reportedly yelled and cursed at a group of high school-aged Senate pages while giving a late-night tour of the US Capitol.
https://www.jsonline.com/story/news/politics/2023/07/27/van-orden-reportedly-curses-teenage-senate-pages-during-capitol-tour/70479593007/

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@w7voa He's still mad he didn't get to have any combat scenes in Act of Valor.

GottaLaff, to random
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

Did he also explain how slaves developed "recovery skills" from being separated from their children, whipped, raped, beaten to a pulp, and worked to death?

Via Acyn:

Watters: This is historical fact that slaves did develop skills while they were enslaved and then used those skills as blacksmiths, in agriculture, tailoring, in the shipping business, to benefit themselves and their families..

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@GottaLaff Watters and DeSantis both kidnapped, beaten, and forced into hard labor for the rest of their lives, but by the time their grandchildren are forced to go through it as well, you know, the kids have learned farming skills.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I wonder what movie it was.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts it was The Rock's trailer on Black Adam. It took eight hours to ride from one end to the other in a studio golf cart.

emilygorcenski, to random

It turns out, actual engineering is a lot harder than software engineering, and this is something you should keep in mind as people start to claim ChatGPT can do a better job.

https://www.theverge.com/2023/6/22/23770260/titanic-tour-titan-submersible-catastrophic-implosion-oceangate

bransonturner,
@bransonturner@mastodon.social avatar

@emilygorcenski I feel like I rarely (read: never) see the Swiss cheese layering software model.

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • JUstTest
  • mdbf
  • ngwrru68w68
  • modclub
  • magazineikmin
  • thenastyranch
  • rosin
  • Durango
  • InstantRegret
  • Youngstown
  • slotface
  • khanakhh
  • kavyap
  • DreamBathrooms
  • provamag3
  • GTA5RPClips
  • osvaldo12
  • tester
  • cisconetworking
  • Leos
  • everett
  • tacticalgear
  • ethstaker
  • normalnudes
  • anitta
  • megavids
  • cubers
  • lostlight
  • All magazines
    •