girlonthenet

girlonthenet, 2 months ago to random

It's #NationalNoSmokingDay, which means I'm allowed to share this again:

https://girlonthenet.com/blog/wouldnt-that-be-a-thing/

Smoking was my best friend, my greatest love, and a core part of my identity for 23 years.

And I QUIT 😎

Nearly 2 years now. I am still shocked I managed it. Some other people have told me they quit after reading this too, and that makes me feel cooler than I can ever properly express.

girlonthenet, 2 months ago to random

Had such a lovely evening with @NotTheLBCGuy and @fehrtrade sampling their delicious and utterly GENIUS #Saltburn-themed cocktail menu 😍

Behold, the bath water #cocktail (which was utterly gorgeous, and which I totally slurped through a straw) ❤️

girlonthenet, 5 months ago (edited 5 months ago) to random

Do I wear my new boots to the pub, and experience brief joy and then unbearable agony? Or do I forego the joy but also the agony?

girlonthenet, 9 months ago to random

This is not a drill! I just spotted Doxy have a 30% off flash sale! Fucking hell! Go get their butt plugs (and/or the bullet and/or the original Doxy). https://doxymassager.com/?aff=4 30% off! Woo!

(they sponsor my site but they didn't ask me to tweet this, I just spotted it when I was doing links. That's an affiliate link though so if you buy through it you help support my work)

girlonthenet, 2 months ago to random

Tickets to see Greg Davies do comedy in a football stadium are over £50. What is wrong with the world? I'd pay £50 to see him in a comedy club, but a fucking stadium is a less fun experience, for absolutely ludicrous money.

girlonthenet, 5 months ago to random

I am so utterly, irretrievably, absurdly in love with my hot punk guy. It feels urgent, like I absolutely HAVE to do something with this love right now, it’s so powerful it must surely be acted upon… but simultaneously calm and safe, like we have all the time in the world so why do anything other than just bathe in it.

girlonthenet, 4 months ago to random

Sorry not sorry to gush, but @robyneatseverything is such a fucking exceptional writer.

The vulnerability in this piece, the devastatingly relatable 'all bodies are beautiful, except mine', their shock at that kiss, and the achingly incredible hope at the end.

FUCK MY LIFE I feel so much of this in my bones, and I wish I could write half as well as Robyn can to capture it.

https://robyneatseverything.com/punching/

girlonthenet, 7 months ago to random

Feels cold enough that I should probably put the heating on, which means I’m about 6 weeks and 3 blankets away from having to actually put the heating on 😬

girlonthenet, 7 months ago (edited 7 months ago) to random

Masto, if you're in a place where you can comfortably see/hear porn and you're up for doing me a quick favour, please could you visit this page: https://www.girlonthenet.com/audio-porn/ WARNING, PORN and click one of the 'play' buttons then vote in poll what you hear first?

girlonthenet, 7 months ago to random

I got a backlink from Mashable! Fuck yeah!

In the context of Americans being super shocked by nudity lol.

I have loads of issues with Naked Attraction, but none of them are to do with the fact that willies/labia are somehow a corrupting force =)
https://mashable.com/article/naked-attraction-americans-shocked

girlonthenet, 5 months ago to random

He knows me so well.

girlonthenet, 6 months ago to random

Every now and then I think 'god, how can I possibly continue telling my silly little fuckstories when the world is so full of trauma and pain? Why do I continue doing this pathetic tiny stupid thing when I should be focusing on the stuff that actually matters?'

And then someone decides to make a musical out of the Gwyneth Paltrow ski trial.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-67447753?at_medium=RSS&at_campaign=KARANGA&utm_source=press.coop

girlonthenet, 3 months ago to random

• 90% of emails do not need your immediate attention.
• 100% of tweets need no response at all.
• Kisses are usually better when you slow the fuck down.

Here's a new blog, or whatever: 40 things I've learned before I'm 40

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/40-things-ive-learned-by-40/

girlonthenet, 8 months ago to random

OH MY FUCKING GOD, TEAM. I am calling it: there's life on Europa. https://webbtelescope.org/contents/news-releases/2023/news-2023-113

girlonthenet, 5 months ago to random

You’d think we, as a society, would have moved past legitimate sex toy companies giving racist names to their dildos but apparently not. That’s a thing that is still happening. In 2023.

girlonthenet, 4 months ago to random

Fuck my life, why do people think it’s ok to leave comments on real life sex stories giving critical feedback about the way people are shagging?

Just had a new comment on an old guest blog asking ‘why the hell didn’t he use a blindfold on her?!’

Maybe because he didn’t want to, or she had limits, or it wasn’t their vibe at the time. People aren’t your porn puppets you creepy fuck.

girlonthenet, 5 months ago to random

I’m 39 years old and I still don’t know what ‘friendly bacteria’ do. Do you… shit more? Shit better? Stop shitting completely? Don’t tell me, I might start drinking Yakult and just see if I notice a difference.

girlonthenet, 15 days ago to random

PSA: #AudioPorn is NOT more 'ethical' than video.

This time last year I had a big rant about why the dominant narrative around audio being more ethical is harmful and wildly inaccurate.

https://www.girlonthenet.com/blog/audio-porn-more-ethical-than-video/

girlonthenet, 3 months ago to random

If you're having a rubbish day today, take heart that at least you aren't the poor fucker from the saddest ever Grand Designs, whose multi million pound unfinished house continues to crumble in new and interesting ways with each year that passes. https://www.homebuilding.co.uk/news/grand-designs-lighthouse-with-sad-history-hits-market-for-pound10m

girlonthenet, 1 month ago to random

So many affiliate dashboards are a complete piece of shit, but none more so than CCBill: the worst web interface ever designed by humans.

girlonthenet, 3 months ago to random

Oh hey, who fancies an extremely maudlin thread about the longest and most painful break-up of my life, which began in 2020 and lasted till July 2021? WELL. You're getting one, strap in.

The following posts are selected extracts from the Break-Up Diaries. If you want to read them all, check out this tag. It's sad, but there is fun in there too. And healing. And, of course, tortured break-up sex.

https://www.girlonthenet.com/tag/break-up-diaries/

girlonthenet, 3 months ago to random

I’ve been awake since 4 in the morning, today is gonna be a really fun day. 👍

girlonthenet, 3 months ago to random

Good nail day.

girlonthenet, 1 month ago to random

New level of adulting:

Picking a dishwasher setting based on the dishes inside, rather than pressing the same button you always press.

girlonthenet, 1 month ago to random

Normally my boyfriend doesn’t like me talking about stuff we’ve done immediately after we’ve done it. It’s weird for him to have each step of his relationship immediately digested and reviewed on Mastodon...

HOWEVER he has given me permission to tell you that he took me on a completely genius and extremely cool date yesterday. In his own words “I dated the shit out of you.”