morothar

@morothar@troet.cafe

gamedev, programmer, and geek;
trans nonbinary #IAmNonBinary, She/Her (or It/Its)
autistic (ASD) & astatic (ADHD), #AuDHD

morothar_loki on Twitter (no longer active)

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

morothar, to TransJoy

Honestly feels so good being with people who constantly gender you correctly.

Private
morothar,

@sebwhatever @actuallyautistic I read it shortly after finding out. Now, still in burnout and 6 months later, I want to re-read it. I found it useful, but I think I was "too early" in my journey and probably missed to many important points. I also skipped those exercises.

morothar,

@sebwhatever @actuallyautistic

Recently read (or am still reading) these books:

  • Late-Identified AuDHD: A Starter Workbook (by B.Z. Brainz)
  • Workplace NeuroDiversity Rising (by Lyric Rivera)
  • Untypical: How the world isn’t built for autistic people and what we should all do about it (by Pete Wharmby)
morothar,

@sebwhatever @actuallyautistic I wish you the very best in your journey! My personal ride is currently very bumpy and not fun, but that doesn't mean yours will be.
(And for me personally it's totally worth it, there are already so many improvements happening.)

morothar, to ADHD

One of the downsides of exploring my neurodiversity and what I'm hypersensitive (and hyposensitive) to is that I feel like I suddenly can't stand things that "never bothered me before". I hate it. I feel like I'm taking some of my own freedom away (and become a bother to people close to me). And like I am suddenly "less capable" of sorts.
It's so hard to untangle the emotions, feelings, and internalized BS (mostly ableism) in this process.

GrueneBundestag, to random German
@GrueneBundestag@gruene.social avatar

🏳️‍⚧️ Das kommt!

Endlich:
💪 Einfachere Änderung des Geschlechtseintrags und Namens ohne entwürdigende Verfahren
💪 Abschaffung des diskriminierenden „Transsexuellengesetzes“

Mehr Info: https://www.gruene-bundestag.de/themen/queer/selbstbestimmung-fuer-alle

Auf dem Bild ist die Abgeordnete Nyke Slawik zu sehen. Rechts neben ihr steht das Zitat: Was in über 10 Ländern Europas schon Realität ist, wird auch in Deutschland endlich umgesetzt: Trans, inter und nicht-binäre Personen können endlich selbstbestimmt entscheiden. Ohne Amtsgericht und psychiatrische Gutachten
Auf dem Bild ist die Abgeordnete Tessa Ganserer zu sehen. Links neben ihr steht das Zitat: Mit dem Selbstbestimmungsgesetz wird transgeschlechtlichen Menschen erstmals in der Geschichte der Bundesrepublik das grundgesetzlich geschützte Recht auf Selbstbestimmung uneingeschränkt zugesprochen.
Auf dem Bild ist die Abgeordnete Ulle Schauws zu sehen. Links neben ihr steht das Zitat: Ohne Zwang selbstbestimmt den Geschlechtseintrag korrigieren zu können, stärkt trans* Personen und wahrt ihre Würde. Ein Meilenstein für Menschenrechte und positiv für alle. Im parlamentarischen Verfahren gehen wir nun Verbesserungen an

morothar,

@GrueneBundestag Gute Miene zum bösen Spiel? Oder wie muss man das verstehen, dass ihr euch hierfür so auf die Schulter klopft? Kenne keine trans Person in meinem Umfeld, die das SBGG in der aktuellen irgendwie gut findet...

marthadear, to random
@marthadear@zirk.us avatar

ich war die letzten wochen seit langem mal wieder aktivistisch und habe an einer petition zum gearbeitet.

ich freue mich, wenn ihr diese unterzeichnet und teilt 💜 https://innn.it/jazuselbstbestimmung

leider enthält nämlich auch der heute verabschiedete kabinettsentwurf immer noch diskriminierende anteile, die nicht einfach in gesetzesform gegossen werden dürfen!

morothar,

@alper @marthadear Nope.

morothar,

@alper Good. And if that was sarcasm, talk to the people affected by this. And not only trans people but als inter people. For the latter this is has many downsides compared to current law.

morothar, to random German

Jedes Selbstbestimmungsgesetz, das komplexer ist oder mehr Auflagen hat als das PStG 45b ist des Namens nicht würdig!

morothar,

@wheel_queer Naja, ich sehe das so: Um die "Legalität" von Gesetzen kümmert sich das Verfassungsgericht. Also muss iweder geklagt werden und über viele Jahre und Klagen, fliegen dann die unzulässigen aber bis dahin voll durchgesetzten Passagen nach und nach raus.
Bin aber Laie und absolut unwissend. Einfach nur ein frustriertes Enby...

Private
morothar, (edited )

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
I'm in "long-term" autistic burnout. It is like a solar plane running out of energy. Recharging is not enough to keep the altitude and I slowly descent. Dipping through the clouds things got worse and I try to put everything into raising altitude again, fearing a crash if I slow down to recharge. Now I keep touching the ground, mini-crashes are more and more frequent, I'm scared of the moment I stop for too long and lose the velocity to ever rise again.
1/2

morothar, (edited )

@theautisticcoach @actuallyautistic
This plane has so many energy-draining things that need fixing, many still hidden from me. I know if I can fix enough of these things I will be able to soar again. But it is really hard to do these, especially so close to the ground... But I will make it!
2/2

Private
morothar, (edited )

@theautisticcoach
a dear friend told me that what I described about recent struggles sounded a bit like autistic burnout. So I researched it and found out that my friend was right...

Edit: I forgot to say that this happened in January this year. (I'm 42)

@actuallyautistic

morothar, to random

It's so frustrating when people who know me very well still read "between the lines" when I say something. There's nothing there. If I wanted to say what you "read" there, I would have said it. With words.

morothar, to random

Being able to edit posts on this platform is a blessing for me. So often I press the "Toot" button and then see something super important I forgot. Or a typo. Or a phrasing that is easily misunderstood.

izabelamisiak, to random

@morothar I just tried the Rubber Duck Therapy method, it's great! Thanks for the idea!

Hope you're doing well 💚

morothar,

@izabelamisiak I'm so happy that it's useful for you! I'm actually overjoyed by that!

I myself am doing okay... It's a rough time right now for me, but I manage.

morothar, to random German

Gibt es geheime Seiten für Selbsthilfegruppen für autistische Menschen? Goggle fördert eigentlich nur Gruppen und Verbände zu Tage, die für Eltern und Angehörige sind. Und die wenigen Gruppen für autistische Erwachsene, die ohnehin unerreichbar weit weg sind, werfen mit "hochfunktional" und Asperger und anderen veralteten Begriffen um sich und wirken insgesamt wenig vertrauenerweckend.

Edit: einen hashtag falsch geschrieben

yourautisticlife, to mastodon

I'd like the button on to have a name like "I'm seeing you" or something more neutral. Maybe something like "noted."

I pause when someone posts something disastrous, and then I end up favoring their post. I favor it because I have nothing else to say, and I'm trying to not boost everything.

It feels like this:

"My house burned down! 😭"

"👍"

Hmm... I guess ultimately, like on would be better. (Yes, I know Firefish has them.)

morothar,

@yourautisticlife To me "favorite" can mean anything from "i like this" to "thank you" to sending virtual hugs.
I use it as a blanket and interpret any favs I get in the most applicable way.

That's why I love that it is a Star (as in wildcard) and not a ThumbsUp or a RedHeart like on other platforms.
(I agree that more nuanced reactions would be great and better for these things.)

morothar, to random

I feel like I'm carrying a million suppressed meltdowns with me. As if I am still actively suppressing them, and it's using every bit of energy I ever had. Always holding it together, unable to just let go for a second. I'm beginning to wish I could just let it happen. Have a release of all that pent up pain, even if it turns me into a useless blob for days.
But I can't. I'm completely unable to loosen my grip on myself. And it might rip me apart...

Private
morothar,

@foo @actuallyautistic
How it is for me: I'll start writing a digital packing list usually a week before departure, depends a lot on the how long the holiday (or other type of trip) is going to be. I'll add to it whenever the ADHD thinks of something,
often half of my household ends on the list. Many reductions will happen. Packing stuff will take several attempts, my brain trying to both pack only the most necessary things but also be prepared for every possibility. (1/2)

Web, to random German
@Web@im-in.space avatar

Hab mir Gnocchi im Edeka gekauft. Ich frag mich was dieser Hinweis bei der Zubereitung soll...?

Zubereitungsanweisung gibt den Hinweis dass man für eine nicht-vegane Zubereitung das pflanzliche Öl durch Butter ersetzen soll.

morothar,

@Web lol, wtf?

Private
morothar, (edited )

@JeremyMallin @actuallyautistic 90% of my brain power is busy with "reading the room", but most of the time allistics have terrible handwriting and it's illegible.

b0rk, to random
@b0rk@jvns.ca avatar

what helps people get comfortable on the command line? https://jvns.ca/blog/2023/08/08/what-helps-people-get-comfortable-on-the-command-line-/

Would love more stories of things that helped you in the last ~5 years!

(as usual, no need to reply if you don’t remember, or if you’ve been using the command line comfortably for 15 years — this question isn’t for you :) )

morothar,

@b0rk I know what would help me get more comfortable with it (again), especially on an OS that's not my daily driver: Better tutorials and explanations of what commands acutally do. Tutorials love to only tell you to paste this command and that command and if things don't go 100% as planned, the user is doomed, as they don't have enough understanding of what's going on...

morothar, to ADHD

Wanna know how deep I am in autistic burnout? I can't engage in video games with any depth at all... I even stopped playing Lego City Undercover because it required too much engagement with it's very simple and lighthearted story. So yeah... it's not great.

morothar,

@devxvda Always. No idea if they can be applied in my situation, but that doesn't reduce my appreciation for any tips or anything that might help!

morothar, to random German

Es schwappt ja schon recht viel zu CCC-Sachen in meine Timeline, zumindest unter dem Gesichtspunkt, dass ich selbst nicht beteiligt bin und auch aktiv aus dem Weg gehe.
Und ich muss sagen, unterm Strich bestätigt es, dass ich da auch weiterhin einen großen Bogen mache, um die Events und um die "Kultur". Es überwiegen einfach die Dinge, die ich extrem anstrengend finde. Finde ich auch etwas schade... aber es ist wie es ist.

morothar,

@dec_hl Das tut mir leid für dich. offers virtual hugs

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