newsthump

newsthump, 1 month ago to random

Zero Bothers Given. Because we could all do with being a bit more Winnie...
Get yours HERE >>> https://bit.ly/3xSx0nt

newsthump, 1 month ago to random

Labour issues pledge to nationalise the Conservative Party https://newsthump.com/2024/04/25/labour-issues-pledge-to-nationalise-the-conservative-party/

newsthump, 1 month ago to random

My shitlist of people who call unnecessary meetings. The new notebook you didn't know you needed, until right now. Get yours HERE >>> https://bit.ly/3Uvl7N9

newsthump, 1 month ago to random

Man quietly sings ‘fuck you I won’t do what you tell me’ whilst putting jam on his scone first https://newsthump.com/2024/04/24/man-quietly-sings-fuck-you-i-wont-do-what-you-tell-me-whilst-putting-jam-on-his-scone-first/

newsthump, 1 month ago to random

BREAKING! Donald Trump's lawyers reveal cunning plan to ensure the jury never sees him fall asleep in court.

newsthump, 1 month ago to random

‘My child won’t have a smartphone until they are sixteen’ insists man who will definitely cave in at eleven https://newsthump.com/2024/04/20/my-child-wont-have-a-smartphone-until-they-are-sixteen-insists-man-who-will-definitely-cave-in-at-eleven/

newsthump, 1 month ago to random

Rishi Sunak to end ‘sick note culture’ by putting coma patients to work as draft excluders https://newsthump.com/2024/04/19/rishi-sunak-to-end-sick-note-culture-by-putting-coma-patients-to-work-as-draft-excluders/

newsthump, 1 month ago to random

‘It’s wokeness gone mad!’ – fury as supermarket sells genital-free gingerbread PERSON https://newsthump.com/2024/04/18/its-wokeness-gone-mad-fury-as-supermarket-sells-genital-free-gingerbread-person/

newsthump, 1 month ago to random

Liz Truss releases new book titled “If I Did It” discussing ways she would have killed the Queen https://newsthump.com/2024/04/17/liz-truss-releases-new-book-titled-if-i-did-it-discussing-ways-she-would-have-killed-the-queen/

newsthump, 1 month ago to random

Liz Truss' new book is out, in which she claims to know how to "save" the West. However, THIS book is a FAR more accurate reflection of her abilities as a politician.

For the avoidance of doubt, yes, it's a BLANK notebook You can get one here >>> https://bit.ly/3UjTt5H

newsthump, 1 month ago to random

Banning cigarettes for young people will ensure they are as impossible to buy as cannabis, insists government https://newsthump.com/2024/04/16/banning-cigarettes-for-young-people-will-ensure-they-are-as-impossible-to-buy-as-cannabis-insists-government/

newsthump, 1 month ago to random

Delicious Gammon Tears - get the new mug here >>> https://bit.ly/4aWrX3D

newsthump, 1 month ago to random

Grand Theft Tory - get 2024's best-seller here >>> https://bit.ly/4azvAgd

newsthump, 1 month ago to random

Wailing simpletons feeling bereft after learning that Sydney attacker wasn’t an Islamist https://newsthump.com/2024/04/15/wailing-simpletons-feeling-bereft-after-learning-that-sydney-attacker-wasnt-an-islamist/

newsthump, 1 month ago to random

HBO Max reboot of Harry Potter to reveal that Dumbledore was actually a TERF the whole time https://newsthump.com/2024/04/11/hbo-max-reboot-of-harry-potter-to-reveal-that-dumbledore-was-actually-a-terf-the-whole-time-2/

newsthump, 1 month ago to random

Are you ready to admit Brexit has been an unmitigated disaster, or are you still clinging to a sunlit-uplands delusion, take our interactive test to find out! https://newsthump.com/2024/04/11/are-you-ready-to-admit-brexit-has-been-an-unmitigated-disaster-or-are-you-still-clinging-to-a-sunlit-uplands-delusion-take-our-interactive-test-to-find-out/

newsthump, 1 month ago to random

Partying in the park: A guide to putting your fcking litter in a fcking bin https://newsthump.com/2024/04/10/partying-in-the-park-a-guide-to-putting-your-fcking-litter-in-a-fcking-bin-2/

newsthump, 1 month ago to random

This incredible millennial bought their first home just by making a packed lunch every day for a year and buying a winning lottery ticket https://newsthump.com/2024/04/10/this-incredible-millennial-bought-their-first-home-just-by-making-a-packed-lunch-every-day-for-a-year-and-buying-a-winning-lottery-ticket/

newsthump, 1 month ago to random

Man from Manchester gets his 10,000 daily steps in by walking to platform 14 at Piccadilly https://newsthump.com/2024/04/09/man-from-manchester-gets-his-10000-daily-steps-in-by-walking-to-platform-14-at-piccadilly/

newsthump, 2 months ago to random

New study finds cats understand their name, they just choose to ignore it https://newsthump.com/2024/04/09/new-study-finds-cats-understand-their-name-they-just-choose-to-ignore-it/

newsthump, 2 months ago to random

Man apparently determined to out himself as an ignorant simpleton after posting a chemtrail conspiracy theory https://newsthump.com/2024/04/09/man-apparently-determined-to-out-himself-as-an-ignorant-simpleton-after-posting-a-chemtrail-conspiracy-theory/

newsthump, 2 months ago to random

‘You can’t say anything these days’ insists man saying exactly what he thinks, every single day https://newsthump.com/2024/04/08/you-cant-say-anything-these-days-insists-man-saying-exactly-what-he-thinks-every-single-day/

newsthump, 2 months ago to random

Furious culture warrior claims ‘wokeness has gone mad’ after discovering train service called the Transpennine Express https://newsthump.com/2024/04/06/furious-culture-warrior-claims-wokeness-has-gone-mad-after-discovering-train-service-called-the-transpennine-express/

newsthump, 2 months ago to random

Sending dick pics to scammers fails to make the top 10 worst things done by Tory MPs in 2024 https://newsthump.com/2024/04/05/sending-dick-pics-to-scammers-fails-to-make-the-top-10-worst-things-done-by-tory-mps-in-2024/

newsthump, 2 months ago to random

Rishi Sunak insists UK can circumvent the European Court of Human Rights by reclassifying asylum seekers as sub-human https://newsthump.com/2024/04/04/rishi-sunak-insists-uk-can-circumvent-the-european-court-of-human-rights-by-reclassifying-asylum-seekers-as-sub-human/