BernieDoesIt

TonyStark, 14 days ago to random

I’ve said this before but apparently it hasn’t sunk in but if you say “Biden has lost my vote”, don’t expect anyone to listen to you or be surprised he’s not out gunning for it. The election is 6 months out. If there’s no way you’re voting for him, nobody fucking cares what you want.

You can enjoy likely a 7-2 or 8-1 conservative SCOTUS that will be grinding down our rights for the next generation or three. Enjoy that.

TonyStark, 13 days ago to random

Let’s do this:

Many people are comfortable throwing rocks at AIPAC. As a result, other people have spoken out about this type of rhetoric and how linking the discussion of $$$ and Jews controlling things is rife with antisemitism.

MANY Democrats and Republicans receive money from AIPAC. It is an American organization run by Americans which is a thing that happens.

Now I’m getting it in my replies from people who should know better. AIPAC doesn’t control the U.S. government. Cut it out.

BernieDoesIt, 14 days ago to actuallyautistic

It turns out that elephants are allistic.

@animalculum @actuallyautistic
https://scholar.social/@animalculum/112417052768543901

pathfinder, 1 month ago to Autism

@actuallyautistic

I once wrote about how it was not unrealistic, to think that there was no such thing as an un-traumatised autistic. About how so many of us have known bullying and persecution simply for being different. Not even always for what we may have said or done, but often for simply standing out; in all the ways that we didn't even know we were. How just simply being, was so often an excuse to be attacked or punished. That our very existence, even as hard as we tried to mask, whether we knew that was what we were doing or not, was the cause of so much pain.

All the scars we carry from misreading situations. Or from believing in something, or someone, and being burnt as a consequence. All the times we've tried to stand up for ourselves, or as often as not for others, and been dismissed and ridiculed. All the misjudgements and disbelieve and times when our intent and purpose have been seen in the ways that were never, ever, meant. The sheer inability for others to see us as we are, or to judge us accordingly. But, always to seem to want to see the worst and to base everything else on that.

But the more I learn and understand about being autistic. The more I realise that so much of my trauma and the scars that were left, came not just from this overt pain, but from the covert well-meaning of others as well. From my parents and relatives, from friends and teachers. From all the advice and instruction I have received over the years that was meant to shape me in the right way. As a child, to teach me how to grow up, how to behave and act. What was expected and what wasn't. And then, as an adult, how I was supposed to be and how a successful life, with me in it, was supposed to look. All the rules I was supposed to learn, all the codes I was supposed to follow. How to act, how to speak, what to feel, when to feel it. What I was supposed to do and how I was supposed to be.

Not in any unusual way. Not in any way that you weren't supposed to raise a child, well a normal child anyway. That's what makes this so covert. If you were trying to do this to a child knowing that they were autistic, then it's overt abuse. It is ABA, it is infantilising and punishing a child for always failing to become something, that they had no more chance of becoming than a cat has of becoming a dog. But for those of us who didn't know we were autistic. It was simply the constant hammering of the world trying, without even realising it, to fit a round peg into a square hole and all the pain and disappointment that came from their failure to come even close.

For me, what made this worse, was that it wasn't as if I didn't know that I was different, not in my heart, but that I thought that I shouldn't be. That I should be able to learn what I was being taught, that I should be able to follow the guidance. That I wasn't any different really from anyone else and so if I failed to act in the right way, or react the way I should, for that matter, then it was my fault. All the patient sighs and familiar looks, simply became just another reinforcement of my failure. Even being told off for the simplest things, became a reminder that something that I should have been able to do, was beyond me and always for the only reason that ever made any sense; that I was broken, that it was my fault somehow.

Is it any wonder that so much of my life has been about trying to justify myself in the light of this, of trying to become that "good dog". Of judging myself against an impossible standard. A constant lurching from one bad to choice to another, and always because I thought they were the right ones. And for each new failure and inability to even come close, another scar, another reminder of what I wasn't. Further proof that my self-esteem was right to be so low. Of how I was such a failure and a bad person. That I was never going to be a proper son or brother or friend. Because I couldn't even be what I was supposed to be, let alone what I should become.

Looking back, I can't help thinking about how much of my life I spent living this way; of trying not to repeat the sins of my past. Of not repeating the actions or behaviour that led to those past failures and trauma. Of, in fact, all the effort I put in to not being myself. Because that, I realise now, was what I was trying to do. I was that round peg and trying to hammer myself into the square hole. Because everything I had learnt had taught me to think that this was how I had to be. That this was how you grew. And in so many ways, I can't help feeling angry about this. About the wasted years, about the scars I carry that were never my fault. About the way I was brought up, even though none of it was ever meant, but only ever well-meant.

#Autism
#Actuallyautistic

pathfinder, 23 days ago to Autism

@actuallyautistic

No matter how well I learnt to mask, no matter how well I learnt to get on with people, if not in any deep and meaningful way, at least superficially. There has always been one skill that I have never mastered and that is simply the ability to not upset people and especially without having the slightest idea how.

Or that I didn't for a long time, anyway. It was only when I realised that I was autistic and that the way I looked at the world was in some ways substantively different from the way many allistics looked at the world, that I began to understand something. Allistics tend to find validation externally, through feedback from the group or the part of society that they identify with, whereas autistics tend to find it within themselves, in their own reason and sense of worth and value.

Now I must stress that in many respects this is a generalisation and obviously there will be a lot of variation and degree in how true this is. But in its more extreme forms, it could very well explain many of the experiences and difficulties that I've had.

Because if someone's self-worth, the value they see in their life and actions, is almost entirely based on their interactions with the dynamics of the group they identify with, or the society they live within and not from their own judgement, then this could lead to certain choices and reactions that are quite frankly alien to someone like me and that I could easily end up in conflict with and all without really trying to.

For example, if the value of a child reflects back on its parents. Then in the extreme case the values and behaviour expected from that child, are not those of the child, but of the parents in terms of the group the child is meant to be representing them in and how well it is doing that. So any sense of divergence from that or criticism of that child, no matter how slight that might be, could easily be seen as an attack on the parents and reacted to accordingly, irrespective of how reasonable or just it was.

Equally, of course, worth, praise, or rewards, can also become divorced from any sense of reality. All that matters is that you, whether that's through your children or not, are being valued, not whether there is any justice to it. Because the truth or validity of it, is not based on how you see yourself, but only on how others see you. And in the extreme case, it doesn't even matter how they came to this view, as long as they have it. So worth can become something to be manipulated and played for and how you really are and how you actually feel about yourself becomes almost irrelevant to this process.

That people could even be this way, that everything could become how you're being perceived and anything that effects that negatively can be something to be attacked, is still something that I struggle to understand. It is so foreign to my nature. But, it certainly explains so many of the times that I've upset people, because I wasn't playing this game, or seeing the world the way I should and didn't even realise it.

#Autism
#ActuallyAutistic

FantasticalEconomics, 27 days ago to random

Important question: when have large-scale student movements been on the wrong side of history?

I may be biased by my progressive leanings (no, scratch that, I'm definitely heavily biased by them) but it seems like we can reliably look to the young to see the direction we should be moving.

I don't care where you stand politically or your views on the fucked up situation in Gaza, everyone should be standing up to loudly support the rights of students across the globe to protest.

Full stop.

x00001, 29 days ago to random

Pirated for alt text

ashleyspencer, 28 days ago to actuallyautistic

I googled “autism and traumatic brain injury” hoping to find something about living with both at the same time.

ALL the results were studies done to see if TBIs cause autism. 😒

Not one article, reddit post, quora post, was about living with both. Ugh.

@actuallyautistic

BernieDoesIt, 28 days ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic I did some back-of-the-envelope math, and about 50% of people with PTSD are autistic. That's really incredible when you think of how many more allistics there are.

LehtoriTuomo, 1 month ago to actuallyautistic Finnish

My previous actually autistic posts gave me some excellent answers and furthered my processing a lot. Thanks to everyone involved! 💜

I self-diagnosed very late. Some big reasons have been a) not having certain stereotypical qualities such as aversion of eye contact, and b) scoring between NT and autistic in many online tests. Interestingly, the realization that I'm autistic wasn't that big identity-wise. I've understood I have certain qualities ages ago. Instead of a change in my identity, it's been a big relief to understand why I'm this and that.

There's still lots to process though. I'm only now coming to grips with how my memory works, for instance.

Ordered two books on autism, Neurotribes and the Devon Price book. Really looking forward to reading those.

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

dgar, 1 month ago to random

I have a joke about trickle down economics, but 99 percent of you won’t get it.

seachanger, 1 month ago to random

once an alaska economist on twitter unfollowed me because I disagreed that “construct more houses” was the only way out of this housing crisis and suggested we may have some regulatory leverage as well

https://www.businessinsider.com/nar-settlement-antitrust-lawsuits-agent-commissions-affect-home-prices-2024-3?amp

BernieDoesIt, 1 month ago to actuallyautistic

My Autistic Pony: Friendship is Overrated

@actuallyautistic

BernieDoesIt, 1 month ago to actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic I just realized I thought about one of my triggers and then didn't immediately chastise myself for thinking about it. I'm making progress.

futurebird, 1 month ago to random

This MR segment on MAGA demographics is important.

When people say "why do they vote against their own interests?" (assuming MAGA folk are poor, rural) I'm just like "they aren't!"

Planned retirement communities with restrictions on who can move in are... questionable.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZ3svFXdkL8