I've just finished watching the first series of "A kind of spark" on BBC iPlayer. Although, this is not about this excellent show. Rather, it's about the struggle I had with watching it and why it took me two attempts to get through it.
The fact is, that found it quite triggering. Now I know it's about, and probably made for, teenagers and the struggles they go through at school and especially being autistic and at school. And even though school was a very long time ago for me and in another age of man. I still couldn't help comparing it to my own experiences and not just in school, but throughout my life, and how much similarity I could see. Not, in the details, obviously, but in the way I would constantly run afoul of people, or somehow be on their wrong side of someone, even before we'd properly met. The sheer pettiness of some of it and the hurt it so often caused me, as much by my not understanding it, as by the unfairness of it. Of how many toes I'd stood on, without meaning to, or even knowing I'd done it and how much of my life I'd actually spent bewildered and upset by the situations I would find myself in and the actions I couldn't understand of the people around me.
Of course, no-one, least of all myself, knew that I was autistic back then, because that would probably have made it much worse. But knowing I am autistic now, at least gives me an understanding of why some people might have reacted this way. How, in some ways, at least, I've never really behaved in the ways that others might find appropriate, to their position, or status, or sense of worth. How socially blundering my way through life, of necessity, includes many toes I could step on and people who could be offended.
But, of course, understanding this now, doesn't really ease the memories. Neither of the pain I did cause, without meaning to, or the pain I received. It doesn't make the life I've had easier, only easier to understand.
And that, in a sense, is what this show made me have to face. That no matter how privileged my life has been. How much easier I've had it, compared to so, so, many others. It's never been easy. There have only been moments, brief and sometimes, admittedly, not so brief periods where my life seemed to make sense and I felt, if not entirely in control, at least in somewhat of a comfort zone. That I was OK and that I could just get on with doing things my way and just being myself. Not without cost, of course, normally in hard, unremitting, work and effort. In often struggling with feelings of guilt and shame about how selfish I was having to be. Because, that was what carving out my own world felt like. Not necessary, or even justified, but selfish and almost petty of me.
And then, of course, there would always be something that would intrude from the outside world. As often, as not, something petty and officious that would dump me back into the turmoil and uncertainty. Because, you can never really isolate yourself from the world, as much as some of us would love to. And so much of this world really isn't made for us. It will always be hard and there will always be those who delight in making it harder. Those who are truly petty and selfish, in the ways that we aren't, and others who will try to use that hate to benefit themselves. It's why carving out our safe spaces will always be difficult, but also, so very necessary.
Wolf Grid is an OpenSim World With AI Integration and Other Innovations
Seems this virtual world is only 3 years old, but it already has a landmass larger than Second Life’s. The reason could also be that land is cheaper than Second Life and there is the assistance of AI for generating the landscapes versus Second Life ...continues
it's late, i'm tired, but i'm still in need: haven't been able to do my eye exam or replace my broken glasses. Keep me in your thoughts, throw me a dollar(literally singular) if you can via paypal and read my full needs on gfm
Our 4-yr old dropping tonight that some of his friends at school have autism wasn’t near the top of my list of things he would randomly drop. It’s clear his teachers have approached this with a lot of care and empathy and he’s really intrigued and excited that he has friends whose brains, well may or may not work the same as his and that he’s lucky to have friends with autism… I was probably 25 the first time I heard the term at all #autism#ottawa#kids
Morning fam! It's the final push to make it to wednesday, and it's been over a week since my gfm got any attention.Sharing is the best way to help me out 🙏🏾💞
If you were waiting to buy my in-depth history of #autism and #neurodiversity, NeuroTribes, it's now really cheap at Amazon. The New York Times called it "Beautifully told, humanizing, and important." https://a.co/d/fDNysnr
Spring, ffs. There are songs, even symphonies, glorifying birdsong written by everyone from Paul McCartney & Fleetwood Mac to Frederick Delius, Vaughan Williams, & Messiaen. But, I swear to god, if you're neurodivergent/misophonic, some bird 'song' is the aural equivalent of being waterboarded.
Foreskin Morbidity in Uncircumcised Males
Sneppen and Thorup, Pediatrics 2016
"In our patient population, we found that 7.2% (95% CI 3.4–11.0) were diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) as a concomitant disease (Table 3). A recent Danish study calculated the prevalence of ASD in Denmark to be 1.5% among boys."
Association found between ASD and childhood penile surgeries. This is reference 1, next toot has #2.
Ritual circumcision and risk of autism spectrum disorder in 0- to 9-year-old boys: national cohort study in Denmark
Frisch & Simonsen, 2015 J. R. Soc. Med.
"We confirmed our hypothesis that boys who undergo ritual circumcision may run a greater risk of developing ASD. This finding, and the unexpected observation of an increased risk of hyperactivity disorder among circumcised boys in non-Muslim families, need attention"
Autistic and non-autistic transgender youth are similar in gender development and sexuality phenotypes
Fischbach et al. Br J Dev Psychol. 2024.
"Neither autism diagnostic status nor continuous autistic traits were significantly related to any gender or sexuality phenotypes. These findings suggest that the developmental and experiential features of gender diversity are very similar between autistic and non-autistic transgender adolescents."
I'm setting up a weekly conference call for #neurodivergent#ADHD#AuDHD#autism people. What weekday and hour is best for you? Please include your timezone.
Gran: “He’s never done any of it in a malicious way. Why didn’t the school system put in more filters, or firewalls, to prevent children from getting into that?”
County Spokesperson: "Threats to over 100,000 students’ safety, including hacking, will be met with the full force of the law and applicable District policy."
I'm trying to arrange a $93 loan for myself to be paid off Wednesday. It would need to be etransfer so if any Canadians can, help a home out and shoot me a dm!
I’ve realized it’s physically impossible to demonstrate how to ride a bike when the only bike available is one for 8 year olds. So anyway, he took to it quite well. Sat on it, wore the helmet with no sensory issues, even peddled forward-ish some of the time and steered. Balancing is going to be hard to teach. He’s sort of kind of got the concept of “brakes” but I wouldn’t trust him to use them. #autism