@EDVARDS@musicians.today
@EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

EDVARDS

@EDVARDS@musicians.today

At least I'm not dead...

yet.

I still find joy in living. I hope for real connections in a physical world, sharing meals, collaborating musically, laughter over phone (see pinned post for interests).

Lives should be shared in person. If you were passing through Vermont, I'd make time for you.

If you really want to connect, send me a Direct Message/PM.
If you're really interested in my music, JUST SAY SO. I'll send you some.

Pronouns: Anything, HEY YOU, or wave a piece of cake. I'll respond.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Wow, it must be really hard to do.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

EDVARDS,
@EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

@lowqualityfacts
... or read about humans that cannot clap with their eyes closed... with their eyes closed.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

That makes sense.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

EDVARDS,
@EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

@lowqualityfacts
🍁 What are the Five Grades of Maple Syrup?
🧇

  1. Golden & Delicate Grade (also known as Fancy
  2. Amber & Rich Grade.
  3. Dark & Robust Grade (formerly known as Grade B)
  4. Very Dark & Strong Grade (formerly known as Grade C)
  5. Military Grade (can withstand being run over by a tank)
    🥞
lowqualityfacts, (edited ) to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I apologize for passive aggressively gaslighting you all into believing that I am Snoop Dogg. They're right, it's time for me to come clean.

The truth is that I am actually Sandra Bullock. I am deeply sorry for deceiving everyone earlier today. I just wanted you all to like me.

EDVARDS,
@EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

@lowqualityfacts
Gloom, despair, and agony on me.
Deep, dark depression, excessive misery.
If it weren't for GASLIGHT, I'd have no light at all.
Gloom, despair, and agony on me!

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

That's reasonable.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

EDVARDS,
@EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

@lowqualityfacts

Q: What did one burp say to the other burp?

A: Let's be little stinkers and go out the other end.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

That sounds frustrating.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

EDVARDS,
@EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

@lowqualityfacts
I my gosh, Am I a millipede?!!!

JoeRess, to random
@JoeRess@fosstodon.org avatar

Instead of calling everything "insane" (as seemingly EVERYONE does now), we should bring back "far out".

EDVARDS,
@EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

@JoeRess
Then "far out" would get abused.
Everything would become "far out".
Next year, there will be a post that says:

Instead of calling everything "far out" (as seemingly EVERYONE does now), we should bring back "wicked", AND the year after we'll bring back...

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

This is simply an extraordinary study. Researchers gave $5,000 to middle-aged men who have an unhealthy obsession with Magic: The Gathering.

The result? They didn't spend it on drugs. They didn't waste it on alcohol. They didn't blow it all at the casino. Instead, they spent all of the money on Magic: The Gathering cards. Every single penny. They made their decks stronger than ever.

Incredible. We need Universal Basic Income, and we need it now.

EDVARDS,
@EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

@lowqualityfacts
The age period that defines middle age is somewhat arbitrary, differing greatly from person to person, it is generally defined as being between the ages of 40 and 60.
No-one said those middle-aged men were poor. They just gained 5,000 dollars.

I would spend it all on the one thing I have unhealthy obsession with...
Survival.
I would be able to pay a few medical bills, taxes, and buy socks with that EXTRA money.
Or, maybe I should stop obsessing and just get stoned. 🤪

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

That's rough.

EDVARDS,
@EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

@lowqualityfacts
My dad calls me Ace once in a while.
I take it as a compliment and simply remind him that his favourite baby... Ace the family beagle died ten years ago.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

EDVARDS,
@EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

@andrewfeeney @lowqualityfacts

Flat Ula
Great band name.
Dibs!

mcmullin, to jazz
@mcmullin@musicians.today avatar

Anyone else remember these guys? Not sure why I just thought of them, but it's good to hear this again.
https://song.link/i/1167826959

EDVARDS,
@EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

@mcmullin
Here they are in Munich 1990.
Just fantastic vocal arrangement and execution...

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=Q_ymNl3TSbQ&si=RoFB2o9dctTVrFu4

zoomar, (edited ) to random
@zoomar@masto.ai avatar

deleted_by_author

    •
    EDVARDS,
    @EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

    @zoomar
    Reservations, in case another comes along?
    Yay, to be the best son... yet!

    There is an elderly lady friend that calls me her favorite son... over the other two she gave birth to. We met when I was 43.

    I'll probably need to delete this post... in case they find out. It would break her heart if her favourite ended up dead.

    lowqualityfacts, to random
    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

    Beautifully said.

    EDVARDS,
    @EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

    @lowqualityfacts
    Afraid nobody around here comprehends my potato.
    Guess I'm just a spud boy looking for that real tomato.

    MeanwhileinCanada, to random
    @MeanwhileinCanada@ohai.social avatar

    Number of people who go bankrupt every year because of medical bills:

    Canada - 0
    UK - 0
    France - 0
    Spain - 0
    Portugal- 0
    Denmark - 0
    Australia - 0
    New Zealand - 0
    Iceland - 0
    Italy - 0
    Israel - 0
    Finland - 0
    Ireland - 0
    Germany - 0
    Belgium - 0
    Netherlands - 0
    Sweden - 0
    Japan - 0
    Chile - 0
    South Korea - 0

    United States - 643,000

    EDVARDS,
    @EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

    @MeanwhileinCanada
    In the United States, they won't let you file bankruptcy every year. Most cases require you to wait between two to eight years, depending on the type of bankruptcy.

    lowqualityfacts, to random
    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

    I bet that increases the property value.
    https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

    EDVARDS,
    @EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

    @lowqualityfacts
    I like that the secret rooms can hide live, dead AND soon to be dead bodies.

    And you can also hide bodies of Water, Evidence, Knowledge, Truth, Work, Art, Text, Letter...

    ramsey, to random
    @ramsey@phpc.social avatar

    Testing

    EDVARDS,
    @EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

    @ramsey
    That works!

    One thing I learned - Profiles with "under_score" cannot receive Direct Messages. The message goes to whoever has the name right up to the underscore ("under"). To contact someone I had to Reply to a post I knew they would look at. They changed their name and lived happily ever after.

    lowqualityfacts, to random
    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

    He might be onto something.
    https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

    EDVARDS,
    @EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

    @lowqualityfacts
    I just finished lunch and now I'm hungry again.

    lowqualityfacts, to random
    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

    I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.
    https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

    EDVARDS,
    @EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

    @lowqualityfacts
    🤪 So, when she is calling out to him it is because she is old AND BLIND...

    JULIET
    "O Romeo, I mean Marco, wherefore art thou Marco?"

    ROMEO
    (aside) Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this?
    "Polo, Polo, I'm right here, you blind old bat!"

    lowqualityfacts, to random
    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

    I love elephants.
    https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

    EDVARDS,
    @EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

    @lowqualityfacts
    termites in their trunks
    ants in my pants

    lowqualityfacts, to random
    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

    Those were simpler times.
    https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

    EDVARDS,
    @EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

    @lowqualityfacts
    Yeah, I remember googling the nearest bowling alley just to call and ask if they had 14 lb balls...

    lowqualityfacts, to random
    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

    I wish I could unlearn this.
    https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

    EDVARDS,
    @EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

    @lowqualityfacts
    At my great-grandmother’s, we weren't allowed milk with our meal as it could fill you up and you wouldn't finish your meal.

    We finished. She took the milk out, but it wouldn't pour. So, she gave it a tap on the bottom and the solids came out and knocked over the glasses. She quickly scooped the chunks into the cottage cheese container and continued to pour.

    My sister squealed "The milk is bad".

    My great-grandmother replied "It's not bad. It's just sour.
    Drink up sweetie 🥛

    lowqualityfacts, to random
    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

    Very relatable.
    https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

    EDVARDS,
    @EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

    @lowqualityfacts
    Same, same, same

    lowqualityfacts, to random
    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

    Things I have been told to do on Mastodon:

    -follow more people

    -follow less people

    -put content warnings on anything related to politics

    -put content warnings on anything related to dogs (seriously)

    -use alt text to translate my posts into French

    -delete my Patreon because I don't deserve to make money

    -sell merch with my facts on them because I deserve to make more money

    -stop doing satire because it is enabling fascism and will get Trump reelected

    Moral of the story: I have no idea.

    EDVARDS,
    @EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

    @lowqualityfacts
    You should do ALL of those things and NONE of those things.

    Don't you want to succeed and fail?

    lowqualityfacts, to random
    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

    This is good to know.
    https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

    EDVARDS,
    @EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

    @lowqualityfacts
    I typed my résumé in Ransom Note font...

    EDVARDS,
    @EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

    @lowqualityfacts
    I typed my résumé in Ransom Note font...

    shawnhooper, to random
    @shawnhooper@fosstodon.org avatar

    So what’s a good alternative Zoom? My team (engineering) was asking about using Slack huddles for our calls, which might be ok. But what to use client facing ?

    I don’t want to use MS Teams or Google Whatsveritscallednow.

    EDVARDS,
    @EDVARDS@musicians.today avatar

    @shawnhooper
    I posted this question before and got some great zoom alternatives
    But, I haven't found anything that has a gallery like zoom AND musician sound quality... yet.

    I'm boosting and will keep an eye out to see your results.

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