EDVARDS

@EDVARDS@musicians.today

At least I'm not dead...

yet.

I still find joy in living. I hope for real connections in a physical world, sharing meals, collaborating musically, laughter over phone (see pinned post for interests).

Lives should be shared in person. If you were passing through Vermont, I'd make time for you.

If you really want to connect, send me a Direct Message/PM.
If you're really interested in my music, JUST SAY SO. I'll send you some.

Pronouns: Anything, HEY YOU, or wave a piece of cake. I'll respond.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I need to try this.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

EDVARDS,

@lowqualityfacts
Not your ear, your rear.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

It's true.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

EDVARDS,

@lowqualityfacts
Oh my gosh. Just think how much your abilities will improve after half a dozen boxes of wine. 🤪
You might get elected!

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Naturally.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

EDVARDS,

@lowqualityfacts
As in...
"Ooh baby, you are so saucy, I can taste it."

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I never knew this.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

EDVARDS,

@lowqualityfacts
But, it takes a village to raise it.

barnetboy, to random
@barnetboy@musicians.today avatar

So I bought a bottle of screenwash a couple of years ago. Now I need it, can I find it? Can I, heck!

The only answer is to buy a new bottle, then I'll find the old one...

EDVARDS,

@barnetboy
One day, I cleaned the entire kitchen... cupboards and every nook.
I found 8 big bottles of vanilla and 7 jugs of rum ( for baking). All were in different nooks.
Whenever I could not find right away, I bought more.
I live alone now and everything is organized.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I hope they stay merciful.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

EDVARDS,

@lowqualityfacts

Executing teams would be a better show than most games.

Wouldn't it be great if they had amateur stand-up comedy as a half-time show?... or, a local high school fashion show?

grickle, to Horror
@grickle@mstdn.social avatar

Found out!

EDVARDS,

@grickle
Poser!
It's hard not to want to be something we are not.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Friendly reminder that the self-proclaimed expert in geopolitical conflict you are arguing with online could very well be some 16 year old kid who is confidently typing a nonsensical solution to a decades old war based off of 15 seconds of Googling in between rounds of Fortnite.

EDVARDS,

@lowqualityfacts
When I turn 17 years old, will the things you say make any more sense to me?

Until then, I'm gonna google this geopolitical conflict thingy.
I bet I can solve it.

jeffowski, to random
@jeffowski@mastodon.world avatar
EDVARDS,

@jeffowski
My friends aren't imaginary!!!
It's not my problem you cannot see them.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Incredible.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

EDVARDS,

@lowqualityfacts
That's hot.
I'm storing that Low Quality Fact away in the back of my mind for later... way later... but, before I die.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Now I'm sad too.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

EDVARDS,

@lowqualityfacts
in solidarity...
Quack, quack.
https://musicians.today/@EDVARDS/110549217512045021

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Humanity's final form.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

EDVARDS,

@lowqualityfacts
I worked for a serious market research firm. We worked hard and made the clients very happy...

and then there were no pants Fridays.

and random announcements that everyone had to TYPE WITH THEIR ELBOWS for the next 2 hours.

and the taco lady would arrive at noon to make authentic Mexican food for everyone.

When my hands become oven mitts,
I won't be able to put pants on,
I'll use my elbows to type,
I'll be able to handle anything the taco lady can throw at me.
🌮 🌯 🥘

grickle, to Horror
@grickle@mstdn.social avatar

It's weird to think I posted this cartoon 15 years ago on Youtube. A simple story of a couple of musician friends just trying to get by in a post apocalyptic future. Perfect for some October viewing. https://youtu.be/L6RSD8m_QOQ?si=OR6Yq5eZ3O42lLuu #grickledoodle #horror #zombies #music

EDVARDS,

@grickle
I LOVE IT ! ! !.
Perfect ending.

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

I must be doing something wrong then.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

EDVARDS,

@lowqualityfacts
Who gave them permission to leave the counter after three months?

lowqualityfacts, to random
@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

Yikes.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

EDVARDS,

@lowqualityfacts

Were they sued by the Ku Klux Klan for copyright infringement?

I think Party City argued they were paying homage. 🤪

zoomar, to random
@zoomar@masto.ai avatar

Old enough to remember what overheating TVs used to smell like and the dot in the center of the tube when you turned it off.

EDVARDS,

@zoomar
I love old televisions, but not for watching programs...

https://musicians.today/@EDVARDS/111089674043060112

zoomar, to random
@zoomar@masto.ai avatar

deleted_by_author

    •
    EDVARDS,

    @zoomar
    Iiiieee LoveIt!

    jeffowski, to random
    @jeffowski@mastodon.world avatar

    Jeff Beck, Jimmy Page and Eddie Van Halen 🤘

    EDVARDS,

    @jeffowski
    🤔 I'd like to know who they cropped out of this picture 🤨
    Anyone have the full sheet?

    lowqualityfacts, to random
    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

    Please release the extended version.
    https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

    EDVARDS,

    @lowqualityfacts
    Well, it wasn't a shower until he started crying.

    lowqualityfacts, to random
    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

    I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.
    https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

    EDVARDS,

    @lowqualityfacts
    I knew this.
    It's why I've been surprising everyone (yes everyone) with a lick on the ear.

    Not yourear, your ear!

    robb, (edited ) to random
    @robb@social.lol avatar

    My mum would spend hours ironing clothes when I was a kid. I dont think I’ve ever seen an ironing board at any of my friends houses. A whole generation just said “fuck ironing” and we did. Good work everyone.

    You know what we haven’t got rid of yet? Childhood cancer. Donate to St Jude today: https://rknight.me/stjude

    EDVARDS,

    @robb
    I starch and iron my chonies.
    I work in the fields.
    Can't have them getting in a bunch.

    lowqualityfacts, to random
    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

    That's fair.
    https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

    EDVARDS, (edited )

    @lowqualityfacts

    I can spit.
    I haven't worked in food service... yet.
    I wonder if "spit trainer" will look good on my résumé.

    Private
    EDVARDS,

    @debonairetoast @diymusicchat
    There is also lots of room for "crafted" compositions.

    lowqualityfacts, to random
    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar

    Make it 2024 and we've got a deal.
    https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

    EDVARDS,

    @lowqualityfacts
    ... and no-one will say "I told you so" in 2065

    EDVARDS, to cake

    Interests moved here to make room for more bio...

    ! !!!

    EDVARDS,

    @barnetboy
    You are SO right.
    Almost all the cake I bake is !

    (list now corrected)

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