@Hedgewizard@beige.party
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

Hedgewizard

@Hedgewizard@beige.party

Irish Brit in Aotearoa. Sometime writer, reluctant Dungeon Master, stressbaker, pharmacist, cat magnet. He/him.

Cursed from birth with a deformed sense of humour. Non-sequiteurs guaranteed.

Account may feature swears; specifically four fucks, three buggers and a damn. But since they only occur in this introduction, you're past them now.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

I think it would be really funny if the porn actress talked liked Foghorn Leghorn.

Hedgewizard,
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

@RickiTarr @TheBreadmonkey

I have trouble when ASMR creeps into TV food adverts. It's not so much the voiceovers as the soft focus and slight slow-mo - i don't know why but they fill me with a reactive rage that makes me want to make sudden movements and loud abrasive noises. I might need professional help

Hedgewizard, to Cats
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

Too fat to hunt? I'll show her

dannotdaniel, to maryland
@dannotdaniel@mastodon.social avatar

May this Indigo Bunting bring you joy





Hedgewizard,
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

@dannotdaniel

Hedgewizard, to random
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

Oh God i need to disguise myself as a normal person for a few hours. This requires the mental equivalent of sucking my gut in to put on a pair of pants that are two sizes too small

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

WHAT IS HIS CRIME?!

Hedgewizard,
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

@RickiTarr

Arson about

Hedgewizard, to animals
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

The weekend is nearly here. You can make it! It's all downhill from here!

maxleibman, to random
@maxleibman@mastodon.social avatar

Me: I'm at the end of my rope!

Capitalists: Why didn't you buy more rope?!

Hedgewizard,
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

@thepoliticalcat @maxleibman

(later still)
Government: Do you have a license for that rope?

Hedgewizard, to random
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

Who in the hell let Duke Nukem in the courtroom?

Hedgewizard, to random
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

Going to Sockburn today. To take back some slippers, ironically enough

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

What cracks me up is when you go to a restaurant, and they ask if you've been there before, and then they say, "Well, we do things a little different here", and then it's exactly like every other restaurant, but more expensive.

Hedgewizard,
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

@RickiTarr @educoder
I'm not sure you pick chickens. Don't you have to dig them up or something?

Brandi_Buchman, to random
@Brandi_Buchman@mstdn.social avatar

‘God jammed the gun’: Man allegedly tried to shoot pastor during church sermon, dead body later found at accused’s house https://lawandcrime.com/crime/god-jammed-the-gun-man-allegedly-tried-to-shoot-pastor-during-church-sermon-dead-body-later-found-at-accuseds-house/

Hedgewizard,
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

@dannotdaniel @Cdespinosa @Brandi_Buchman
It's so much easier than "maybe this was never a healthy environment to begin with"

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Y'all, I'll never get over this still from my husband's Workplace Harassment Seminar. They knew what they were doing, no way they didn't!

Hedgewizard,
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

@danciruli @Alice @RickiTarr
Allright?

Hedgewizard, to random
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

Hear me out: apple slices with salt & vinegar chips in a sandwich. Absolutely stellar, but the s&v needs to be strong or there needs to be a decent number of them.

GottaLaff, to legal
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

NEW #TrumpTrial THREAD STARTS HERE 🧵 #legal #Trump 1/...

Anna Bower:

Trump has returned to his seat in courtroom 1530.

Keith Davidson is back on the stand.

Here we go!

Hedgewizard,
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

@GottaLaff @dnelson

Your personal experiences, coming as they do amidst an existential crisis for the US, and punctuated by the record you're creating on Mastodon, would make an engaging book i think. I hope you're archiving this stuff!

purplepadma, to random
@purplepadma@beige.party avatar

Although I say things are rubbish today, they’re kind of rubbish on paper, but I am struggling to care. I know it’s depression talking, but not only do I not really care if we don’t go on holiday, I don’t really care about my PhD and whether I ever go back. Which is nuts, because it was my big dream. I just don’t have the energy.

Hedgewizard,
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

@purplepadma

💙
This will pass, it's only now

alexkidman, to retrogaming
@alexkidman@aus.social avatar

It really was only a matter of time before this retro title was my retro game of the week. I mean, it's only THE BEST GAME OF ALL TIME.

https://alexreviewstech.com/retro-game-of-the-week-bubble-bobble-sega-master-system/

Hedgewizard,
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

@alexkidman

My student debt owed so much to the fact that there was a cabinet running this in my student guild.

MisterMoo, to firefox
@MisterMoo@mastodon.online avatar

Dear @firefox : Please stop saving images as webp when I drag them out of the browser. Forever stop that. Even if they are webp originally, just give me a setting to auto-convert them to JPEG. When I get a webp file the first thing I have to do is convert it manually if I'm going to do anything with it.

Hedgewizard, (edited )
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

@MisterMoo @firefox

I was looking for a fix that didn't involve yet another extension, but only found how to block webp entirely which would just result in broken image links. Sadly i also found that this is a security vulnerability, likely deliberate for data harvesting, and has been a problem for FOUR YEARS. It's only the incidence that is picking up now.

purplepadma, to random
@purplepadma@beige.party avatar

Just bought myself a box of Ferrero Rocher because it’s my birthday, bitches! Nibbling a few for elevenses

Hedgewizard,
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

@purplepadma

Happy birthday! May you smell only pleasant aromas and find a forgotten tenner in your back pocket

Brandi_Buchman, to random
@Brandi_Buchman@mstdn.social avatar

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis may have just set himself up for a First Amendment fight from hell.

DeSantis says Satanism is ‘not real’ and ‘not qualifying’ for new Florida school chaplain program

https://lawandcrime.com/high-profile/desantis-says-satanism-is-not-real-and-not-qualifying-for-new-florida-school-chaplain-program/

Hedgewizard,
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

@Brandi_Buchman

Oh please please please let this set up a scenario where De Santis fails to prove that Christianity is any more 'real' and earns the nickname 'De Satanist'

Hedgewizard, to random
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

I am the utmost. Everybody says it. Nobody's got more ut than me. Big, beautiful ut like you've never seen.

Hedgewizard, to random
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

Tiki is a lot of cat

mattsheffield, to random
@mattsheffield@mastodon.social avatar

Arizona Republicans are blocking Democrats' efforts to repeal the Civil War-era abortion law that is now in effect in the state.

Shortly before the Republicans on Arizona's supreme court upheld the 1864 law, a group of Republican state senators gathered on the floor holding what looks like a gibbering seance, praying that gawd would allow them to force children to carry rapist pregnancies.

Please spread this clip. This is the true face of the Republican party.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/anthony-kern-prayer-circle-abortion_n_6616590be4b02edf20089de3

video/mp4

Hedgewizard,
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

@mattsheffield

Neuroimaging of brain activity during glossolalia does not show activity in the language areas of the brain.

Or any other areas of the brain, come to that

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Hello! I want to do a Spooky Picture Prompt! So, find a picture in your camera roll that would represent the phrase:

Last Picture on the Camera Roll

This should be spooky, but completely up to your own interpretation. Here's one from me, with weird eclipse light.

Hedgewizard,
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

@RickiTarr

the_etrain, to random
@the_etrain@beige.party avatar

Tis the season of losing knuckle hair to the grill and campfire.

Hedgewizard,
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

@the_etrain
That sound! Eccccccccch

GottaLaff, to random
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

Back home in California safe and sound. Back to biz as usual tomorrow. 👍🏻

Hedgewizard,
@Hedgewizard@beige.party avatar

@GottaLaff @merileedkarr @DoctorDNS

Yep I meant move up there first - possessions in storage - and house hunt when you're permanently up there?

  • All
  • Subscribed
  • Moderated
  • Favorites
  • •
  • JUstTest
  • tacticalgear
  • DreamBathrooms
  • thenastyranch
  • magazineikmin
  • Durango
  • cubers
  • Youngstown
  • mdbf
  • slotface
  • rosin
  • ngwrru68w68
  • kavyap
  • GTA5RPClips
  • provamag3
  • ethstaker
  • InstantRegret
  • Leos
  • normalnudes
  • everett
  • khanakhh
  • osvaldo12
  • cisconetworking
  • modclub
  • anitta
  • tester
  • megavids
  • lostlight
  • All magazines
    •