@Tattie@eldritch.cafe
@Tattie@eldritch.cafe avatar

Tattie

@Tattie@eldritch.cafe

Edinburgh-based, carbohydrate-laden, binary evading spud. Trans liberation, autistic pride. :heart_nonbinary: :flag_genderfluid: :heart_transgender: 🥔 :heart_lesbian: 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 :autism:

I write things on Medium! Click #TattieWrites for a list of my articles on being trans and other thoughts.

#nonbinary #trans #woman #genderfluid #femby #sapphic #lesbian #ActuallyAutistic #ptsd #Scotland #Edinburgh

See pinned posts for introduction and image descriptions

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. Browse more on the original instance.

girlonthenet, to random
@girlonthenet@mastodon.social avatar

Tickets to see Greg Davies do comedy in a football stadium are over £50. What is wrong with the world? I'd pay £50 to see him in a comedy club, but a fucking stadium is a less fun experience, for absolutely ludicrous money.

Tattie,
@Tattie@eldritch.cafe avatar

@girlonthenet to have seen Greg Davies before he was massive, you'd have had to see him as the age of twelve or something.

Tattie, to random
@Tattie@eldritch.cafe avatar

Seeing more "X historical figure had thoughts about gender and their own femininity, therefore was secretly a trans woman" on my feed, which is always a subtle unpleasant reminder that my binary trans women sisters might tolerate me, but will always be wedded to a binary gendered view of human nature. 😮‍💨

reginasbread, to random
@reginasbread@homo.promo avatar

you thought parenting social media are cursed? try dog owners social media ☠️

Tattie,
@Tattie@eldritch.cafe avatar

@reginasbread that dog is in distress acktcherly /s

18+ Tattie, to random
@Tattie@eldritch.cafe avatar

There's absolutely nothing wrong with folks having a "non-binary phase" before deciding they're just a trans woman/man. Sometimes identities do shift; that's something to celebrate!

But for god's sake that doesn't mean that every non-binary person is on that same trajectory. Do not imply to us that it's "just a matter of time" before we embrace the binary. It's patronising and invalidating.

There's enough pressure from cishet society to conform to the gender binary in order to be accepted. We don't need more of the same from our own community.

Non-binary people deserve a space to define and explore our own identities, play with presentations, in our own time and our own terms. Some binary trans folk, respectfully, need to learn to be more comfortable granting us that space, that autonomy.

Even those who had a "non-binary phase" themselves. Especially them, in fact. 🙃

Tattie,
@Tattie@eldritch.cafe avatar

@TamsinSays I might have reached out to the trans community years sooner if I hadn't been so terrified that I'd be pushed into identifying as a woman, going on HRT, getting surgeries.

It was just so important to me to have my own definition of myself, after a lifetime of gaslighting and browbeating by the cishets.

Thankfully by the time I did make tentative steps, the trans community had become more accepting of non-binary identities. I was especially lucky to stumble onto r/traa, which aggressively supported its enby contingent.

And now ironically, look at me: identifying as a woman, going on HRT, getting surgeries. But on my own terms, and without having abandoned my non-binary nature.

Tattie, to animals
@Tattie@eldritch.cafe avatar

It took Zeph a month or two to notice that I'd set up a blankie on the windowsill, but now it's his new favourite place. 🤷‍♀️

Tattie, to random
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Buncha transfems just lobbing the golden apple at each other like they were playing Hot Potato.

Tattie, to animals
@Tattie@eldritch.cafe avatar

Uh, hi.

Tattie, to random
@Tattie@eldritch.cafe avatar

What the heck do I do with this now?

Tattie,
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Yum cogs!

Tattie,
@Tattie@eldritch.cafe avatar

Bitter gourd taste: uh, as advertised.

Jaden3, to music
@Jaden3@mastodon.social avatar

What y'all favorite album?
I got 2 , songs in the key of life and innervisions _ stevie wonder. My gramps got these on vinyl and played them over and over i remember as a kid. I just starting my vinyl collection and these are the first albums I bought! Classics and both released years before my ass was even born !

image/jpeg

Tattie,
@Tattie@eldritch.cafe avatar

@Jaden3 I'm stuck in the nineties, I guess, because my two would be R.E.M. - Automatic for the People and Radiohead - OK Computer.

Special mention to an album that me and my wife both loved: Pulp - Different Class

RickiTarr, (edited ) to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

This is probably my worst poll, but I'm curious, for science:

I have/had:

Tattie,
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@RickiTarr one great parent, one tyrant

Tattie, to random
@Tattie@eldritch.cafe avatar

Medieval writers: "a woman's natural state is lustful, whereas men are born with more restraint."

Modern media: "a man's natural state is lustful, whereas women are born with more restraint."

Medieval writers: "...?"

Modern media: "Oh yeah we kinda flipped the whole thing around."

Medieval writers: "Most puzzling. You are still finding it a way to make it women's problem to deal with, though, correct?"

Modern media: "Oh, yes, of course!"

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Are you the person you always thought you would be?

Tattie,
@Tattie@eldritch.cafe avatar

@RickiTarr looks down at boobs

Nope. 😅

Tattie, to random
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Cis men of the Fediverse, time to show off your knowledge:

What is emotional labour?

IzabelaKaramia, to random
@IzabelaKaramia@writing.exchange avatar

You ever been woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of a cat's tongue licking a dinosaur's head?

That was me last night. I had been sleeping on my right side and the head of Dinker Donkers, the green dinosaur plushie, was in front of my face. On the other side of him Ginza was busily grooming his head.

Tattie,
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@IzabelaKaramia gotta keep that Dino clean 🦕

Tattie, to random
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The "Lazy" brand of cooking ingredients are convenient as heck, but I'm almost certain one person living on their own should not be getting through a jar of "Lazy Garlic" quite so fast. 🤨🧄

grrrr_shark, (edited ) to random
@grrrr_shark@supervolcano.angryshark.eu avatar

An extra special Happy to anyone, cis, trans, enby, genderfluid - who has ever had to fight to be seen as a woman (and wanted to be seen as one).

I'm a cis woman. My mom was a beauty queen, and my whole life, my mom treated me like I was never feminine enough (or at all). Sometimes she rejoiced in it - she hated that her own mom only ever saw her beauty, and liked to see me as only some sort of genderless intellectual Wunderkind - and, as I got older, she also disparaged me for it.

It left me as a woman never secure in the fact that I am one.

No one deserves to be treated as anyone other than who they are.

You own you. I believe and celebrate you.

Tattie,
@Tattie@eldritch.cafe avatar

@grrrr_shark my friend has a similar story. I once told her that she was more like a trans women than most cis women were, and she took it as the compliment it was intended as. 😊

Fighting for your identity and dignity as a woman is a powerful thing. I see you and celebrate you. Happy International Women's Day!

Tattie, to random
@Tattie@eldritch.cafe avatar

Morning all.
I've just woken up from very gendery dreams.
Involving Joanna Lumley.
I blame @reginasbread

terraboops, to random
@terraboops@girlcock.club avatar

i love this article so much.

i think if we all really embraced these ideas in everything we did - nurturing instead of coercion - this planet could be a beautiful place...

it's really hard. when someone comes at me with some bullshit... but i want to get to a place where that can be a teachable moment, and for now i am trying to de-escalate and move on.

https://norasamaran.com/2016/02/11/the-opposite-of-rape-culture-is-nurturance-culture-2/

Tattie,
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@Dani 🫂
@terraboops

karengregory, to random
Tattie,
@Tattie@eldritch.cafe avatar

@lord plenty of blind people previously had sight. Also, this information can sometimes be useful for colour blind users.
@karengregory

reginasbread, to random
@reginasbread@homo.promo avatar

I don't remember where I've read it, but it was someone's opinion about sapphic fiction. they said that in a story about two women, when they meet for the first time and one of them is like "omg I wanna fuck her", it's male gaze.
what? can't a woman be a lothario? we suffered love between women being depicted solely as tender pillow friendships long enough. we can do tender and we can do fuck at first sight.
I'm not saying: make it all horny. I'm saying: make it diverse.

Tattie,
@Tattie@eldritch.cafe avatar

@reginasbread I saw the same sort of thing on the dreadful r/actuallesbians subreddit. People saying that "actually women aren't sexually aroused by things they see, so all visual porn is inherently male gaze".

Firstly, gender essentialism much? Secondly, uh, have you seen a hot woman? 😳

RickiTarr, to random
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Is piano a string instrument or a percussion instrument?

Tattie,
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@RickiTarr these sorts of conundrums are truly your forte

reginasbread, to random
@reginasbread@homo.promo avatar

I'm a stress ball. squeeze me.

Tattie,
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@reginasbread do you know how stressed out the folks on the Fediverse are?! 😅

Impossible_PhD, (edited ) to random
@Impossible_PhD@hachyderm.io avatar

If you call yourself an ally, no you fucking aren't.

As a member of a priveleged group who wishes to do the work of allyship on behalf of an oppressed group, you need to understand that it is a thankless job, and you will suffer for it. The only reward you will ever have is the satisfaction at seeing oppression being pushed back.

If you claim "ally" for yourself, it's stolen valor, and a real ally is evident in their work. Nobody who is an ally describes themselves as such.

Tattie,
@Tattie@eldritch.cafe avatar

@Radgryd I find being specific is always more reassuring.

There was a fairly bland meme going round Facebook of people declaring themselves trans allies. And it wasn't bad to see, but I did ask myself "well what does this mean?"

And then a cis friend reposted it with the addendum that "transphobic comments will be deleted and their authors blocked" and I immediately felt ten times more confident that they were actually committed to creating a safe space.

Another example of specificity: my friend has a trans-coloured "I'll go with you" badge on her bag. Yes! That's an actual need a lot of trans women have.
@Impossible_PhD

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