breakfastgolem

breakfastgolem, 10 months ago to random

Me: CoffeeBot, make me an espresso.
CoffeeBot: Yes, sir. (hrrrgggghggggggffffffnnnnaaahyeahhhhhhh) Here you go, sir.
Me: uh

A video of a robot-looking coffee pod on tripod legs. There's a cup under it, and it literally squeezes down and shits out coffee into the cup.

breakfastgolem, 1 year ago to random

Google: hey so we're gonna have to lay off like 10,000 people :(
People: wow that sucks
Google: alos we're giving our CEO a huge raise
People: wait why what did he do to deserve that
Google: he laid off 10,000 people

breakfastgolem, 29 days ago to random

Pretty much everyone: hey car companies please make a small, compact, cheap simple EV car pls
Car companies: lol heres our new $100,000 900 horsepower EV SUV that weights 8000 pounds and is legally classified as a skyscraper

breakfastgolem, 5 months ago to random

Tearfully calling mom to inform her that this won't be the year of Linux on the desktop.

breakfastgolem, 8 months ago to random

New ride

breakfastgolem, 4 months ago to random

New Masto instance just dropped

breakfastgolem, 9 months ago to random

anyone need anything

breakfastgolem, 1 year ago to random

What I say when I leave the room

breakfastgolem, 5 months ago to random

Mastodon is integrating with Threads (the 1984 British movie about a nuclear apocalypse).

breakfastgolem, 4 months ago to random

You're telling me this radio is made of ham?

breakfastgolem, 5 months ago to random

It is my birthday. Give me boosts.

breakfastgolem, 5 months ago to random

breakfastgolem, 7 months ago to random

:blobboo:

breakfastgolem, 9 months ago to random

Holy fuck.

breakfastgolem, 27 days ago to random

Gosh, I really had to go to the bathroom! I feel much better now. Gonna head down to the kitchen to (falls down the falls down the stairs)

breakfastgolem, 5 months ago to random

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r326c3DewuE

It's A Bad Brains Christmas, Charlie Brown

It's the song "Pay to cum" by Bad Brains. This is called synthesis, people.

breakfastgolem, 8 days ago to random

which instance is this

breakfastgolem, 5 months ago to random

Communion wafer edibles

breakfastgolem, 4 months ago to random

i am not FUCKING around (immediately fucks around)

breakfastgolem, 4 months ago to random

Inventing new and physics-defying ways to bake things

breakfastgolem, 4 months ago to random

Finally found my dream home.

breakfastgolem, 3 months ago to random

I surf the web as I sip my coffee. Suddenly, Windows informs me that a comment has been made on one of my many Mastodon posts. Chuckling to myself, I reach across my desk to my trusty, dog-eared copy of "Mastodon for Dummies" and flip the book open to the "Great Replies" chapter. They won't know what hit them.

breakfastgolem, 2 months ago to random

Happy Intergalactic Women's Day (women who span galaxies, their spines dwarfing the very filaments themselves, arms extended across vast swathes of time)

breakfastgolem, 1 month ago to random

It's April, you fools.

breakfastgolem, 9 days ago to random

Where there's a william, there's a wayium.