futurebird,
@futurebird@sauropods.win avatar

I regret to inform you shirt stays (not collar stays the other kind) are
1 comfortable
2 incredibly effective
3 make you look suspiciously neat and tidy

Nothing that looks this stupid should work so well. If you have some suspicious little neat nick in your life whose shirt is always magically tucked in? I regret to inform you they probably have them on.

It’s all very disturbing.

memory,

@futurebird googles furiously

Wait WHAT? How did I not know about this sorcery before? Seriously I’ve spent my entire life thinking that dudes wearing button down shirts in movies and TV just had them all perfectly tailored and/or spent all of their free time in the gym. Turns out it was just upside down garter belts the entire time?? I’m going to turn into the Joker here.

futurebird,
@futurebird@sauropods.win avatar

@memory Let’s be the joker together. It’s like a huge scam!

Wraithe,
@Wraithe@mastodon.social avatar

@memory @futurebird One of the things that a lot of people aren’t aware of is that whole “Beau Brummell” simplicity look requires almost as much work and money as the fancy court dress did.

Someone on Twitter had a great unhinged rant about Beau Brummell. It was worthy.

all those “simple“ looks are actually way more complex than you (me included) actually think sometimes.

kryptosam,

@Wraithe @memory @futurebird i often imagine getting dressed from under the safety of the covers, and that rube goldberg sequence of events will now involve shirt stays

memory,

@Wraithe @futurebird I remember the Beau Brummell rant! In fact, I think that might have been @sarahtaber ?

Wraithe,
@Wraithe@mastodon.social avatar

@memory @futurebird @sarahtaber Yeah, I could believe that it was her. I’m digging for it as I find it impossible that I didn’t save that sucker 😂

Wraithe, (edited )
@Wraithe@mastodon.social avatar

@memory @futurebird @sarahtaber Fuckkin FOUND it: it was Alex Rowland, who is still over on Twitter, it looks like.
But here’s the rant: https://x.com/_alexrowland/status/1100074019850731521

Sadly, because Twitter has fucking broken everything I can’t seem to save it as a thread or anything. But 99% invisible had Alex on and they talked about it.
@sarahtaber probably retweeted it.

memory,

@Wraithe @futurebird @sarahtaber ooh, thank you!

Wraithe,
@Wraithe@mastodon.social avatar
pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@futurebird I had a similar epiphany about suspenders. When you realize that distributing the weight of your pants on your shoulders is so much easier than trying to create enough pressure around your waist for friction to counteract gravity…

They just happen to be dangerous in a mosh if there are unfriendly persons in there as well.

futurebird,
@futurebird@sauropods.win avatar

If I designed a line of ant-themed shirt stays in a wide range of adjustable sizes with accurate ants from many species as decorations do you think it’d be popular?

“ants in your pants? put ‘em to work!”

probably not.

unless…

matt,

@futurebird Never in recent memory has an advertising slogan connected so powerfully with me

moondog548,
VampiresAndRobots,
@VampiresAndRobots@writing.exchange avatar

@futurebird I've never in my life looked kempt or felt comfortable with my shirt tucked in, so I might be your demographic.

PTR_K, (edited )
@PTR_K@dice.camp avatar
toerror,
@toerror@mastodon.gamedev.place avatar

@futurebird I can imagine it working as a theme for a hipster upcycled clothing store.. The longer clothes are in the shop for, the more ants get added to them on the store owner's embroidery machine.

r343l,
@r343l@freeradical.zone avatar

@futurebird I wanted shirt stays (the top of socks to shirt bottom kind!) for a while when I was wearing more traditional masc clothing but these days I am just not tucking shirts in. That said, ant decorated ones would be tempting. Maybe I’d dress more smartly again. 😂

justafrog,
@justafrog@mstdn.social avatar

@futurebird The top of the clasps should look like ants holding on to the pants with their mandibles.

LucyKemnitzer,

@futurebird I'd be interested if I ever wore my shirts tucked in.

j3b,
@j3b@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

@futurebird I was already having gender anxiety about being a woman who thinks about the "daughters of Lavinia" and "sons of Aeneas" more often than any man in my life; now this? 😭

oschene,
@oschene@mastodon.social avatar

@futurebird Surely, you remember Dill in To Kill a Mockingbird:

Dill was a curiosity. He wore blue linen shorts that buttoned to his shirt, his hair was snow white and stuck to his head like duckfluff; he was a year my senior but I towered over him.

DavidM_yeg,
TheDonsieLass,
@TheDonsieLass@mas.to avatar

@futurebird I hate my shirt sliding up and untucking and looking a mess. You've changed my life

deborahh,

@futurebird um ... this exists? I am shocked. Shocked, I tell you. No, really.
https://a.co/d/graNbm5

mckra1g,
@mckra1g@mastodon.social avatar

@futurebird TIL what a shirt stay is. This is the kind of charmingly obscure information I count on social media to unearth for me. I like the random intersection of interests, expertise, experiences and factoids floating around in the ether. Thanks for educating me today!

raisin,

@futurebird did you find some that fit you?!

FeralRobots,
@FeralRobots@mastodon.social avatar

@futurebird
[searches 'shirt stay']
Oh, so that's what those are called. I didn't think anyone used those anymore.

futurebird,
@futurebird@sauropods.win avatar

@FeralRobots

It’s more like no one talks about shirt stays anymore. But I’m doing an awareness campaign to change that. Haven’t decided if the goal is to warn people of the dangers or extoll the virtues yet. But I insist that everyone is at least… aware. They exist. They may already be in your very own workplace or home!

j3b,
@j3b@mastodon.sdf.org avatar

@futurebird @FeralRobots "shirt stays" are the new Roman Empire

lenahallesaale,
@lenahallesaale@mastodon.green avatar
eyrea,

@futurebird @FeralRobots I'm into historical costuming and I'd never heard of them before now, so thank you!

People always go into detail about how Edwardian corsets included stocking clips -- interesting that menswear had something equivalent.

UtilityNerd,

@futurebird @FeralRobots

I mean I doubt they're in my home...

Announcer: 5 minutes later, shirt stays killed his entire family and his dog. Don't let it happen to you. Remember: Don't Stay, Be OK.

FeralRobots,
@FeralRobots@mastodon.social avatar

@UtilityNerd @futurebird
Avram Davidson tried to warn us in 1958. Sure he was talking about safety pins, coathangers & bicycles, but it's an ecosystem, & in that eldritch ecosystem garter belts & shirt stays are the apex predators.
https://avramdavidson.com/or-all-the-seas-with-oysters/

catherineomega,

@futurebird @FeralRobots “How to talk to your kids about shirt stays”

fell,
@fell@ma.fellr.net avatar

@futurebird I knew about neither of those things and now I want both.

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