@pdkoenig@mstdn.social
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pdkoenig

@pdkoenig@mstdn.social

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RickiTarr, to random
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The most ridiculous thing about cop procedural shows is when they ask where a person was, and what they were doing at a specific time the person always has perfect and immediate recall. I'd be desperately trying to remember what day of the week that was, and trying to open my phone calendar. If I was the cop, I'd immediately be suspicious of the person who remembered exactly where they were and what they were doing.

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@RickiTarr When I was a bank teller, we were literally trained how to give descriptions and not to interrupt as someone is giving a description. The second time I was the victim teller, the first uniform cop to arrive kept interrupting me as I was trying to give a description. When the detectives, bank loss prevention, and FBI all arrived, the first thing we all agreed on is that cop annoyed all of us.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

It's so weird that we are all supposed to be ashamed for burping and farting. I deeply apologize to everyone for keeping my body from literally exploding, so uncouth.

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@RickiTarr My grandfather and my mother regularly responded to burps and farts from others and themselves with “Better out than in.”

fahrni, to random
@fahrni@curmudgeon.cafe avatar

In my experience cats don’t have a safety. https://mastodon.social/@tayledras/112456336099887346

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@fahrni @tayledras This may be good trigger discipline, but I doubt it is a well disciplined trigger.

futurebird, to random
@futurebird@sauropods.win avatar

I will NOT let Pica bully me! I'm bigger than her and she can't "make" me do things!!

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@futurebird You are far bigger than and, and they make you do things. You don’t stand a chance against a cat.

qurlyjoe, to random
@qurlyjoe@mstdn.social avatar

Sure sex is great, but have you ever said no to a customer?

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@qurlyjoe I’ve been the supervisor that told someone to leave or I’d call law enforcement after they were excessively rude to one of my cashiers. That was good.

thomasfuchs, to random
@thomasfuchs@hachyderm.io avatar

(Copied from https://bsky.app/profile/nobodysholm.bsky.social/post/3krk4pbvuas25)

So Utah, having passed a transphobic bathroom bill, has launched an online form for people to snitch on folks they think are in the "wrong" bathroom or locker room.

Be a real shame if people on the Internet flooded it with fake reports: https://ut-sao-special-prod.web.app/sex_basis_complaint.html

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@thomasfuchs That the upload instruction includes the phrase “or Drag file(s)” (capitalization in original) is… interesting.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

If you get mad when you see employees at a business you are patronizing laughing, enjoying each other's company, and goofing off, you're a dick. Empathize with people working a shitty underpaid job, and let them enjoy what little fun they get.

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@RickiTarr When I was an 18 year old floor supervisor at a very busy multiplex, I got a strange performance review. Some managers thought that, even though everything always got done well when I ran the concession stand, it didn’t look like my staff was working hard. I’ve been WTF on the notion that work shouldn’t be fun my adult life.

GottaLaff, to TeslaMotors
@GottaLaff@mastodon.social avatar

Bloomberg:

rejected Elon ’s appeal not to have an in-house lawyer pre-approve his social media posts about

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@GottaLaff Wow, that would be really embarrassing if he <checks notes> owned a social media company.

futurebird, to random
@futurebird@sauropods.win avatar

New outworld is cleaned and landscaped for my Camponotus nicobarensis. I’m going to add some “leaf litter” I would try isopods or springtails… but the girls are so excited to murder— let’s see if they destroy the moss tufts first.

They are also going to put the black dirt all over the place— but that’s the ant way.

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@coprolite9000 @futurebird I already have terrifying visions of a planet inhabited by cat-sized intelligent ants ready to venture out into the stars from following @futurebird …

lilithsaintcrow, to random
@lilithsaintcrow@raggedfeathers.com avatar

Had to retype "successfully" thrice because each time it looked wrong, and I'm still not sure I got it right even though spellcheck has stopped shrieking.

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@lilithsaintcrow I can’t count how many times I’ve had to look up the spelling of “dictionary” because I wasn’t confident in its spelling. At least my sense of irony was amused by the fact that checking involved grabbing a dictionary to check spelling and then not opening it.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Soup seems like a breakfast food, I'm going to have some Breakfast Soup.

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@RickiTarr Coffee is bean broth.

RickiTarr, to random
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Okay, so last night I was on a date, and I asked hubs what he was up to at work, and he told me he learned Python, so he could write a program to help people troubleshoot computer problems on their own.

I ask him, "You're creating a program to replace yourself?"

Apparently, just the boring easy stuff he doesn't want to deal with, because he has better ideas about how he wants to use his time at work.

Is this what you smart people do all day?!

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@RickiTarr Reminds me of a college CS prof who advised us in class to figure in how much time you need to finish the book you are reading when asked how much time a project will take.

kfury, to random
@kfury@mstdn.social avatar

If Meta wanted to sell another 50,000 Quests this month they'd find a way to stream a live immersive video of the eclipse for people who can't be there.

Also paging Apple and Vive.

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@kfury At that distance, there is no depth perception from parallax. A single camera and stereo camera will give the same view of the eclipse.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Type "Women are..." and/or "Men are..." and let predictive text finish the sentence.

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@RickiTarr Middle, left, and right buttons in Notes are totally different moods.

Women are not allowed in this world anymore because they don’t want their husbands and children in this country.

Men are allowed in the country to have a child with their husbands.

Women are allowed to have their own children and have their own bodies.

Men are allowed to have a baby and have their own body.

Women are entitled.

Men are not able or responsible enough.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Corporations: We have to keep Unions out of the Workplace!

Employees: Cool, pay us a living wage and treat us fairly.

Corporations: THE PROBLEM IS UNIONS!!!

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@RickiTarr If gathering resources (like labor) collectively to act as a single entity were bad for the economy, there would not be corporations. A corporation is just a union for money instead of labor.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

If two restaurants were going to date, who would date each other?

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@RickiTarr KFC and Wendy’s. But, the founder of Wendy’s used to work for the Colonel, so it’s a little extra gross.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Well y'all, we did it, we got Taylor Swift to date Travis Kelce, and her magic vagina gave him the strength to win the Superbowl. Through our collective Socialism and Witchcraft, Biden will now win the election...somehow.

Liberal Conspiracy Highfives!

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@RickiTarr The Liberal Conspiracy has stolen a Super Bowl victory from noted conservative, gender-conforming stronghold [checks notes] San Francisco.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Share your cute adorable face, or don't, just be a lurker!

This my face in the sun, and my poofy hair and my eyes looking at you

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@RickiTarr

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Oh Honey...

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@RickiTarr I’m from SoCal, where you are never far from yet another segment of the torn down Berlin Wall. Again showing that monuments are really bad at teaching history.

rebeccawatson, to random
@rebeccawatson@mstdn.social avatar

let it never be said I'm not a romantic

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@rebeccawatson As long as the first and third items are not mixed up.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

What is the strangest thing you've ever purchased?

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@RickiTarr Preserved sheep brain I gave as a Secret Santa gift. It was much loved.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Y'all remember when we sent our boys overseas to stop the Nazis from doing whatever this is?

This time there are three scantily clad women tied up by their wrists, in the background is a really smirky Nazi, in the foreground is a boiling cauldron that looks like it's full of lava and a hand holding a glowing Nazi brand
Okay there are three women once again all scantily clad, two are in the background in a prison cell looking on in horror as the third woman is tied up on her knees. There's some topless dude who looks like Yule Brenner holding yet another Nazi brand, while a Nazi officer watches joyfully. There is a headline: The Wild French Nymph Who Smashed Hitler

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@RickiTarr Those were the simple days when sexually provocative publications had to maintain the legal fiction of being educational.

Porn, uh, finds a way.

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@RickiTarr My grandmother was part of the underground resistance in occupied Norway. She was once sent to the train station to pick up a suitcase of English newspapers smuggled in only to discover all suitcases were being searched at the exit. She got it out by walking up to a German soldier and saying “This is so heavy. Can you carry it for me?”

I don’t know about hot nazis, but hot Norwegians get shit done.

RickiTarr, to random
@RickiTarr@beige.party avatar

Hubs has finally had a negative Covid test, and I had a nearly invisible line, so I'm thinking by Monday I'll finally be clear too. Now it's in the negatives for awhile, so we are still stuck inside. What do you do to counter Cabin Fever?

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@RickiTarr Besides murder and cannibalism?

gedeonm, to random
@gedeonm@mastodon.social avatar

A story in two parts.

A huge boulder about four-five feet across sits in a parking lot surrounded by cones and hazard tape.

pdkoenig,
@pdkoenig@mstdn.social avatar

@gedeonm The broken hydrant is obviously a Whovian fixed point in time.

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