@RickiTarr Yes. As a fifty-something cis-man, raised by a mother who was more feminist-ideal than actual feminist, my feeling is that gender equality has reached a plateau. It's not enough to open the door to women to take on "traditional" male roles, we need to enable men to take on traditional female roles. There is a long way here, as evidenced by the bear-vs-unknown-man meme. As the father of a boy (now 19), I noticed the subtle ways in which society told my child what he was allowed to do/feel and what he wasn't. The shop clerk who couldn't "find" ("wink wink") pink rubber boots in his size (when he was three). {We left, buying nothing, btw}. To the playground difficulties, at a very progressive school, of not wanting to rough-house.
@RickiTarr We are all just people at the end of the day! There may be more difference in personality traits between one girl and another, and one boy and another, than between one boy and one girl.
We are all slaves to levels of estrogen and testosterone regardless of our genitals.
@RickiTarr In my generation at least you were quite severely bullied and ostracized by both gender role people and feminists if you didn’t live up to expectations of male norms
Yup. Gender divisions were enforced when I was in school too.
Girls took home economics, boys took shop class.
Gym was likewise segregated, boys played baseball or soccer etc, girls took badminton or gymnastics etc.
By the time I got to high-school, there were more individual sports like orienteering or cross-country skiing at least. But team sports were still emphasized for the boys.
@RickiTarr
Yes hi hello, I'm the weakling, ignorant, sensitive and gentle lad they're talking about.
Good poster, I'll make a picture like it too, maybe with the flag's colors
@done@RickiTarr Seriously! People look at me funny when I say it but I believe that all gender categories - and with them, sexualities - while necessary now, are (or should be) temporary measures on the way to "Who gives a sht?", when people are just people & love & share their lives with whoever the fck they want.
@jwcph@done I just don't get why people care, if someone wants to defy gender norms or have no gender, or change genders, or make up their own, how does that affect anyone, but their partner if they have one? Worry about your own life, and stop bothering other people.
@RickiTarr@jwcph@done
Exactly, If i'm not in a relationship or having sex with someone, how is it any skin off my back? I've been married forever so I have concerns about one person.
@RickiTarr@jwcph@done Only relevant for matchmaking purposes, and mostly from when personal ads charged by number of words. Now you can have an entire web page describing what you are and what you're looking for.
I think some people are just salty because they aren't finding what they want, and they're blaming everyone else for not being that. And also for not wanting to be that. Which seems like jealous stupidity, a thing most people don't want in their romance.
@RickiTarr@jwcph@done My former best friend and TERF adjacent (calling him feminist is a stretch, but definitely Trans Exclusionary) asshat I attended HS with would be in that camp. He would only see women as mating partners. (Same mindset of anyone who says "all women love me" or "I know how to talk to any black person"... Seeing people as monolithic, pigeonholed "others".)
The same dude bro mindset who reduce women who cannot reproduce (various cancers have this as an outcome) as "not wife material".
He passed away, so I can call him an asshole all I want now to everyone I know. While he was alive, I was pushed to backpedal by friends and relatives, "he's trying", "he's not as smart as you, give him some credit".
No, he was a dick. I was his friend because there was literally no one else in my neighborhood my age to be around. (And it was the 90s. I was as informed on transmisia as any kid who watched Sifl and Olly.)
@RickiTarr
Boys who want to cook and sew, and girls who want to drive tractors and graders.
(One of our neighbors, when I was a kid, did sewing for his family.)
@RickiTarr it's the crimethinc poster! Our UU fellowship in Kansas had one in both (gendered) bathrooms, above diaper changing tables in both rooms. I KID YOU NOT, THE MEN TOOK THEIRS DOWN AND HUNG UP JAYHAWK BASKETBALL. 😂 🤦🏻♀️
@HunkThunderzone@RickiTarr Pardon if my autistic ass missed the joke/subtext, but the beautiful part is that we don't need to blame random onions anymore.
@RickiTarr@matthewtoad43 very nice. Yes we are in it together. My personal childhood traumas would have been survivable except for toxic masculinity, though sexism may not be directly to blame.
@RickiTarr It has been my wish since I was a little boy ……. That people around the world would learn how to grow up and get along. Can you imagine a world where we conquered greed, shefishness, etc… (7 deadly sins)? Human life is worthless unless we truly value human life.
where I think we get into trouble is thinking any of this implies somebody is in the wrong body. it's the cultural expectations that are wrong. we should understand that being in the wrong body is a thing, but it's very rare. while the feelings above are basically universal at some point in our lives. and not making space for that sucks. sex differences exist and there are tendencies, but I'm not sure the cultural construct of gender should.
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