A moderator of a FB group I frequent has fallen headlong into the “politeness” trap, insisting that participants observe “civility” and “manners” when they post.
Many of you probably already recognize that #politeness is a trap. It is a tool used by aristocrats and the powerful to silence dissent, by protesting how the oppressed choose to cry, instead of dealing with why they cry. Southern slaveowners were probably the most polite bunch of folks you’ll ever know.
Focus on what’s important: kindess, empathy, respect, tolerance. And tell politeness to go fuck itself.
@drahardja Why are we talking? Do we want to change minds by discussing things with others, or do we want to shout at them? Granted, both are necessary at times...
But if we want people who disagree with us to listen to what we have to say rather than ignoring us or shouting right back, then we ought to show them the respect of being polite. That does not prevent us from speaking truths that they may find painful.
If you show the value of a victim, you feel empathy. This increases the desire for equality but you feel bad: it endangers your health.
On the contrary, iIf you stress the mistake of a victim, you protect yourself: you feel like it should not happen to you. Society supports such detachment if the perpetrator is a white man or a police(wo)man.
Blaming the victim justifies inequality, discriminations, violence by the strongest. It normalizes (adult, white, male or cis) privileges. Therefore it normalizes patriarchy and white supremacy.
@inpector
Du meinst die mehr als berechtigte Kritik für einen verachtenswerten #Ableismus seitens @zdfmagazin? Hätte man vielleicht teilweise anders formulieren können, aber #TonePolicing ist dann ja auch nicht die feine Art.
"Why aren't you debating with the Rich, can't you appeal to their better nature? You disgusting savage, I'm glad your kind will washed away really, you're upsetting my property values anyway......"
One of the beautiful things about #Mastodon is that you have a lot of control about what you see by choosing who to follow, mute and block. This leads to situations where you see more meta-discourse than discourse. For example, I've seen several people complaining about #tonePolicing, yet I've rarely if ever seen any actual tone policing. I'm sure it happens, and to have so many people complaining about it, it must be rather frequent too, but obviously in a different corner of the #Fediverse
@AmiW Weil es noch immerf und wieder Deutsche gibt, die Nazis sind. Bis Deutsche die Lektion gelernt haben, ist die deutsche Gesellschaft verdammt, die Geschichte zu wiederholen.
“Some of your posts have been reported by a user and I resolved it so far.
In the future. Please make sure not to insult others and be rude.”
Here’s my suggestion to the moderators of mstdn.social: Stop tone policing people on other instances. I’m not on your instance and I’ll speak my mind as I like on my own one. If anyone has a problem with that, they can block me. It’s not your job to tone police the fediverse even if you are a mega instance.