LikeItOrLumpIt

NiteThief, 10 months ago to random

Good morning to everyone who can figure out how to work their hotel room shower the first time. 🌞

LikeItOrLumpIt, 10 months ago to random

Getting rid of stuff means this only doll I saved from my late Mom's doll collection. This one was the least creepy. Mom said she bought it because it had my hair and eyes color. Sorry Mom. It's time. Dolls were your thing, never mine.

StefanThinks, 10 months ago to random

[Interior - Olive Garden, festive Italian music playing]

Me: Is it true that when you're here, you're family?

Waiter: Absolutely! We strive to make everyone feel welcome and like they are part of the family. Mangia! Hahaha!

Me: That's awesome.

[intense music]

Me: I really need your help. I'm in debt way over my head, and I don't have any one else to ask. Can you spot me the money?

Waiter: Oh, here we go again! I can’t just bail you out. You need to learn personal responsibility.

Me: Look, the thrill of gambling got the best of me. Instead of winning, I lost, big time. I owe money to some very scary people. Can’t you just help me out this one time?

Waiter: I can’t keep bailing you out all the time! It won’t solve the underlying problem. Maybe you should chalk it up as a growth opportunity?

Me: Oh, c’mon! You helped Debbie when she got in that car accident!

Waiter: Don’t you take that tone with me young man! That was different, she wasn’t at fault, and she needed a car to get to work. This is just like you! How dare you try to guilt trip me!

Me: Whatever, you are being an asshole like always! Bad things will happen to me if I don't pay back the debt. I know you have never given a shit about me, but do you think could try at least once in my life?

Waiter: That's a lie! I care deeply about you, and it pains me to see you like this. But if I keep letting you avoid the consequences, you'll never learn. Let's find a solution together. Have you ever though about seeking professional help or credit counseling?

Me: I guess I was hoping you could wave your magic wand and solve this for me. You're right; I need to clean up my own mess.

[cheerful upbeat music]

Waiter: That's the spirit! I'll support you through this process. Let your mistakes be your teachers. I want you to grow and become the man you are supposed to be.

Me: Thanks, it's a bitter pill, but it's about time I finally man up. Can I at least have a hug?

Waiter: Sorry, the best I can do is more breadsticks and salad!

Me: Hahah, bring them on!

[I walk into the bathroom and shimmy out the window and curl up in the fetal position to hide in a dumpster]

Voiceover: Olive Garden, because when you're here, you're family!

the_etrain, 10 months ago to random

They should sell breakfast cereal flavored milk. Like, milk that's been run through some Fruity Pebbles and stuff.

StrugglingGuitarist, 10 months ago to random

Wishing you all as good a Monday as possible. You know, for a Monday and all.

Be Kind.

hammoncr, 10 months ago to random

public relations with my cat are at an all time low

ocsweetest, 10 months ago to random

Trying to make a Facebook for this work thing and it feels like I’m trying to break into a bank safe? My old account was suspended like years ago. I’m ready to send in a blood sample. K thanks.

JustFrank, 10 months ago to random

#KindessMatters

adhdeanasl, 10 months ago to random

Me: wakes at 2:12 AM with a sudden realization a wazoo is a butt?!

DemocracySpot, 10 months ago (edited 10 months ago) to photography

📷 #FediversalPictures is the #hashtag for my photography in the #Fediverse.

Your comments are most welcome. Thanks. — Eddie

---

📷 Rurnt streetlamp, downtown Jesusville, June 25, 2023, 3:47 PM.

#FediversalPictures #SilentSunday #Photography #StreetPhotography #Clouds

the_etrain, 10 months ago to random

The day lilies are probably going to be giving us some nice blooms this week. This is the first of this variety.
#bloomscrolling

melissabeartrix, 10 months ago to random

Caged flower trying to escape ... Giggles

Hugz & xXx

HCBunny, 10 months ago to random

It's almost like never being touched is bad for my mental health.

philgarland, 10 months ago to hiking

Hiked 3.5 miles and 1,000ft elevation gain outside Blackhawk, CO! #dadlife #hiking #colorado

ElizabethLeeCo, 10 months ago to random

Welp, I guess I'm that lady who has celery stuck between her back teeth now.

HCBunny, 10 months ago to random

Just bought a headboard with bells on it. Because I gotta believe.

the_etrain, 10 months ago to random

"Sure! What's a couple boosts between friends?", I said, knowing damn well I'd never see those boosts again.

Jorsh, 10 months ago to photography

My mum and Lorry before a ride.

#Photography #Animals #Horse #Equine

DemocracySpot, 10 months ago to random

I'm alive, intensely alive.

chad, 10 months ago to random

Turn your phone all the way off and see how long can you stand to hold its lifeless corpse in your hands.

beth, 10 months ago to random

modding my roomba to yell "GOD DAMMIT" whenever it bumps into something

Jorsh, 10 months ago to random

Ok, hear me out: have you ever considered stabbing someone to life?

ReticentTurnip, 10 months ago to random

Unintentionally still here for the 3,734th day in a row