Alice, (edited )
@Alice@beige.party avatar

I was just reminded of around twenty years ago when this guy who I knew on LiveJournal took extreme creative liberty and used the head from my LiveJournal profile pic and Photoshopped an image of me and sent it to me as a "gift" and I was just like "uhhhhhhhhhh...thank you?"

kevinteljeur,
@kevinteljeur@mastodon.online avatar

@Alice WAT

dkloke,
@dkloke@beige.party avatar

@Alice

flustered

Alice,
@Alice@beige.party avatar

@dkloke 😂

rockmastermike,
@rockmastermike@mastodon.social avatar

@Alice omg i don't know what's worse, that someone would do this in the first place (creepy much?) or that the head is rendered weirdly disproportionately large.

Alice,
@Alice@beige.party avatar

@rockmastermike Probably because they wanted the body to appear even more petite to suit their...interests.

Shivviness,
@Shivviness@mastodon.social avatar

@Alice
Why the Tetris theme though? And, yes, I see it even extends to a Nintendo tattoo.
I imagine the many girls' reaction to this would be, "this is very creepy and weird, but at least it's not a picture of his genitals". And it's very sad that even today that should still hold true for most women on the internet

Alice,
@Alice@beige.party avatar
justin,
@justin@holonet.social avatar

@Alice Many questions, but why Tetris?

Alice,
@Alice@beige.party avatar
JoscelynTransient,
@JoscelynTransient@chaosfem.tw avatar

@Alice I suspect if i received something like that, i would be tempted to leave the internet forever and walk into a bog to drown myself. So freaking creepy!

...and now the same species of dude is probably using AI to mass produce weird shit like that and not understanding why women won't talk to him

FlagrantError,
@FlagrantError@beige.party avatar

@Alice I don’t want to alarm you but this is probably on a 20
year old body pillow somewhere.

Alice,
@Alice@beige.party avatar
Alice,
@Alice@beige.party avatar

I bet that guy's weird fantasies would be ruined if he knew this is actually what I look like.

https://beige.party/@Alice/109922682959201378

Kierkegaanks, (edited )
@Kierkegaanks@beige.party avatar

@Alice which of them is you?

amiserabilist,
@amiserabilist@med-mastodon.com avatar
Alice,
@Alice@beige.party avatar

@amiserabilist Andrew McCarthy could get it!

CoachMark,
@CoachMark@beige.party avatar

@Alice this is an all time great Toot! Your arms in that photo! 🙌

WrenArcher,
@WrenArcher@beige.party avatar

@Alice
I mean an American Girl doll staring from a hall closet fantasy seems like it would qualify as a weird fantasy instead of a normal fantasy.

You know like a normal fantasy might be… let’s say Dolly Parton’s face on a chocolate cake box singing “🎶 yawn and stretch and try to come to life🎶 just before seggsy time.

Or maybe Snoop Dog making parsley laced brownies so one can feel like part of the cool kids at his all nehked celebrity party.

Just for clarity, those are not mine. Just examples. 😬

slowly slides diary behind my back

TwoClownsEating,
@TwoClownsEating@beige.party avatar

@Alice

Yikes.

It's like when a cat brings you a chewed up bird as a gift. But the cat is an incel.

Jorsh,
@Jorsh@beige.party avatar

@Alice

I assume this guy is now the CEO of a deepfake software company.

Kierkegaanks,
@Kierkegaanks@beige.party avatar

@Alice ouff, belated sympathies

amiserabilist,
@amiserabilist@med-mastodon.com avatar
Alice,
@Alice@beige.party avatar

@amiserabilist @Kierkegaanks Holy shit. As if that wasn't risky enough, he swam wearing ice skates.

18+ amiserabilist,
@amiserabilist@med-mastodon.com avatar
18+ Alice,
@Alice@beige.party avatar

@amiserabilist @Kierkegaanks Oh wow. Just read his entire page. Fascinating.

Jorsh,
@Jorsh@beige.party avatar

@Alice

hello sexy tetrass bric gurl you make big points with papi yes make big high score

(Excuse me while I vomit over my own fictional character)

Alice,
@Alice@beige.party avatar

@Jorsh 😂🤢🤣

moldyringwald,
@moldyringwald@mas.to avatar

@Alice Lmao why is it Tetris themed??

Alice,
@Alice@beige.party avatar

@moldyringwald At the time, I was kind of known for being very good/fast at Tetris.

I haven't played in years and kids have absolutely gotten better/faster than me because I definitely never hit the kill screen and had no idea one existed back in the day.

CoachMark,
@CoachMark@beige.party avatar

@Alice Oh my - Did you "run away" from this person very fast?

rephlex00,
@rephlex00@beige.party avatar

@Alice I assume the Nintendo stamp of authenticity is fake too then 😭

Alice,
@Alice@beige.party avatar

@rephlex00 It's a similar idea, but I was able to fit the entire Legend of Zelda map on my my big ole butt, so I had the tattoo artist go with that instead.

rephlex00,
@rephlex00@beige.party avatar

@Alice what did you get on the other ass cheek

Alice,
@Alice@beige.party avatar

@rephlex00 My right butt cheek has a tattoo of a map of the universe, but it's a work in progress because it's always expanding.

NotJustFancy,
@NotJustFancy@mastodon.social avatar

@Alice
Which one is expanding?
Your butt
The tattoo
Or the universe?

Alice,
@Alice@beige.party avatar

@NotJustFancy All of the above. That's the joke.

amiserabilist,
@amiserabilist@med-mastodon.com avatar

@Alice

i like big maps an´ I can not lie.
You otha brothas can´t deny.
That when a girl walks in wit´ a itty bitty waist an´
A round thing in yo´ face. You get SPRUNG.
Want to pull up tough, cuz you notice that map was STUFFED.

@rephlex00

Alice,
@Alice@beige.party avatar

@amiserabilist @rephlex00 BABY
GOT
MAPS!

itty53,
@itty53@beige.party avatar

@Alice

Plot twist: the guy on live journal was @KevBot.

Alice, (edited )
@Alice@beige.party avatar

In case anyone is unaware, that is definitely not my body because IRL Mama McFlurry's got dumps like a Cybertruck.

RogerBW,
@RogerBW@emacs.ch avatar

@Alice Sharp and rusty?

Kierkegaanks,
@Kierkegaanks@beige.party avatar

@Alice rusted?

FlagrantError,
@FlagrantError@beige.party avatar

@Alice hard corners and rust?

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