Random #perimenopause update that none of y’all asked for: Goat Union Overnight Period Panties are awesome enough that I now own three pairs. A+ very much recommend as comfortable during my more clothing sensitive times, pretty decently affordable, and zero leaks. Only annoyance is supposedly they shouldn’t be dryer-dried (though the Wirecutter reviewer claimed they did ok, I think). So a bit slow to wash/reuse within one cycle.
Unless your cycle goes on forever like in perimenopause… 🙄
Is it a standard #actuallyautistic trait to take on others' emotions? I'm not generally a cryer myself, though #perimenopause has been a right bastard for making me prone to being a bit weepy, but I've always been particularly susceptible to others' tears. Today I saw a woman in a car crying and I could hardly speak - I was saying how sad it is that it's not the done thing to tap on someone's car window and ask if they're ok - because it made me choke up too. Is that recognised?
Nieuwe fascinerende podcast van #ZOE: Over #overgang#menopause en hoe je zou moeten #sporten. En dat is niét zoals de landelijke richtlijn want die is gebaseerd op data over mannen.
Bij de weg, #perimenopause begint al in je vroege 40+ jaren dus ook als je nog geen 50+ bent, luisteren!!!
Can anyone point me in the direction of information regarding increased libido during #perimenopause ? It's impossible to search for online as you just get a gazillion bits of information about the exact opposite.
I want to talk about Women's Pain. I've never had "good" periods, not since I was a teenager, but as I aged they got worse and worse. I was basically bedridden three days out of the month, and popping ibuprofen for a while after that too. I even got a prescription for Marijuana, because I knew the ibuprofen wasn't good for my stomach, and I needed something to ease the pain. Despite all of this, I just assumed that this was what it was like for most women.
I've always had a lot of anxiety about doctors, but it had ramped up since childhood. My Mom has been in and out of hospitals her whole life, and has had some pretty traumatic experiences. I watched my Dad die in an ER in front of me. But my best friend died suddenly of a preventable illness, and I decided I had to do better, regular Doctor visits was the top of the list, since I had only been going when I absolutely needed to. I casually mentioned to the doctor increased pain during periods and he (like a very good doctor) ordered an ultrasound just in case. This started months and months of tests and doctor visits, 4 ultrasounds, birth control pills that made me sick, an MRI, two different specialists, one of which let me know that I was a mess inside, but I would need surgery to find out exactly how, basically a nightmare. I was so ready to be done with it that when they said surgery I said Yes, immediately, I was so ready to be done. My surgeon was fantastic, but basically said they wouldn't know what the end result was be until they were in there could be just cyst removal, could be a total hysterectomy. In the end, they had to remove my right fallopian tube, right ovary, and some cysts, they also put in a Mirena IUD. I had endometriosis for years, and didn't realize it.
I tell this story, because in a way, I was lucky, my doctor believed me about my pain, but there are thousands more stories where Women's pain gets ignored by the medical establishment, they tell them they are just stressed and hysterical. The average endometriosis diagnosis takes about 7 years, because of this. Men get better care than women, period, and if you're a woman of color or LGBTQ, watch out, the stats are even worse for you. Men get treatment and pain management far more often and far quicker than women. And to top it all off, women are just told pain is normal and part of life from the time they are small children, your period will hurt, so will sex, pregnancy, menopause. We are expected to live in and accept pain our whole lives. Women don't have a higher pain tolerance than men, we are just expected to grin and bear it in a way Men simply are not.
So, final message, if something feels wrong, don't wait, go to the doctor, don't take no for an answer, if your doctor denies you, get another doctor. You know your body better than any other person, you deserve the best care for it, love yourself!
If you have any other advice for women, and dealing with the medical establishment, or just want to share a story, please feel free!
@APBBlue@RickiTarr@inkstainedmags I was pretty ecstatic when my doc told me that my bloodwork said that I'd hit #menopause. #perimenopause was probably my least favourite segment of my hormonal lifecycle. I had NO idea that it would go on for SO LONG and that everything would intensify so much. Also, my favourite aspect of life as an older female was becoming invisible to men on the prowl. I really hadn't realized how much energy and vigilance it took to deal with that!
"Researchers have followed a group of more than 3,000 women in perimenopause and menopause for decades and have found a few key differences: Black and Hispanic women reach menopause earlier than white, Chinese and Japanese women. They also experience certain menopausal symptoms for 10 or more years — almost twice as long as do white, Chinese and Japanese women."
This is why we're all cranky, y'all.
Also, #perimenopause is some bullshit. I've been going through this since my mid 40s. Gotdamn.
A fat body covered head to toe in green fabric. Baggy, glorious fabric. Let's normalize confounding the patriarchal gaze. Let's also normalize jumpsuits. I love how the legs bell outward hiding my body further.
Middle age is an opportunity to embrace and redefine the impending invisibility society imposes on women my age. I won't shrink from it. I'll inhabit it.
Last weekend I wore a mini dress and high heels to the Paula West evening. I reinforced, supported, and smoothed out my body with Spanx. I was an encased meat in a pretty frock.
Today I was bringing Green M&M Missy Elliot realness. Hidden yet feeling bolder and more real than in that short dress. When I picked up Benson I pulled on my new red leather gloves. The brightness against the green with the accents of bright white from my shoes and fannie pack made me feel bold and modern.
I'm excited to explore new ways to tell patriarchy to fuck off.