Commenting in both of these comments so y’all both see it, but be careful with having a living thing as your safety net. It’s tough to think about, but at some thine they will pass and the ground will fall out from under you. Speaking from experience here.
Edit: Sorry if that’s dark, not trying to drop the mood on an already moody topic.
I have the same thing with my dog. I made an attempt when I was 18, then got a dog at 20. I’m 24 now and still struggle a lot with depression, wishing the attempt had worked and all that, but would never do it now because I can’t imagine leaving my dog all by himself.
Commenting in both of these comments so y’all both see it, but be careful with having a living thing as your safety net. It’s tough to think about, but at some thine they will pass and the ground will fall out from under you. Speaking from experience here.
Edit: Sorry, not trying to darken an already dark topic.
Yikes. I don’t know a better way to phrase it, but I sure as hell wish someone had said that to me 10 years ago; before my dog who was my safety net got a brain tumor out of nowhere and had to be put down. What do you do when the only thing that’s keeping you afloat becomes an anchor? Animals are absolutely great and I’m not saying they shouldn’t have them or even use them to help mental health. But having a living thing that is the only thing stopping you from self-harm is dangerous.
telling depressed people, “hey, that thing you love? that light in your life? IT’S GONNA DIE!” is really fucked up, and if you don’t know better than not to say things like that, you should say nothing at aall. rubbing it in more and trying to rationalize it with an anecdote about your own horror story hardly makes it better.
if any of us had wanted your advice, we would have asked for it. I’ll listen to my therapist’s advice for an emotional support animal over some stranger on the internet who seems more interested in trolling and attention than being supportive to others.
Right on, best of luck and be safe out there. I was on the fence of whether to post anything or not. Mainly was afraid I’d get the response that I did from the other commenter. If I learned anything from that experience, and closer to what I originally wanted to convey but don’t think I did, is that it’s important to not rely on one thing to keep you going. Having a pet to help keep you going is great, but my mistake was having my dog be ‘the only thing’, so losing him also lost the last thing that was keeping me going.
Anyways, have a good one and give your puppers a hug.
Companies posting huge profits while laying off thousands
Unstable economy and political landscape in the west
War and uncertainty spreading across the globe
Another rise in right-wing, populist anger
Mere years removed from the worst global pandemic in a century
Several generations living a missold dream of being able to work a job and afford to live
Damaged mental health from growing up with social media (and yes, I appreciate the irony of posting this on social media)
With all this in mind, is it any wonder why so many aren’t doing well? Pair this with people that are used to being unashamedly open on social media, especially when piggybacking on a popular post from a “celebrity”, and I’m surprised that it isn’t even worse…
This is why I shut down reddit once and for all. It was all ragebait, sad news, doom and gloom. They posted a very, very, very horrifying, very sad news on the frontend that affected me for weeks. You know when people post “That’s enough reddit for me for today”? I said “that’s enough reddit for me for good!”
Reddit used to be a fun place. I legitimately went there knowing that, five minutes in, I’d be laughing my ass off.
I can only imagine Twitter must be much, much worse.
Lemmy… hm, Lemmy is going down that path. I try to stick to my tech community subs, but every now and then I check the frontpage and, if it’s not a bunch of deadhorse memes, then it’s stuff like this “nobody is ok” post.
I’m almost convinced that an AI (or “dem illuminaccies”) are trying to bring the mood down on everyone on the internet, so it’s easier to harvest their organs or something.
I think asking is good, and this may be worth getting into for other reasons - but know that this is a one way trip.
I’d suggest starting with the things that helped me unfuck my shit (partially, anyway!). First, if you haven’t already, check out Kurzgesagt’s Optimistic Nihilism video. If you find that interesting, continue on to absurdist philosophy, especially Camus (Sisyphus, Stranger) and Sartre (Nausea). After that, existentialism - I think I’d probably start with Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl.
Once you begin to get a feel for these ideas, I think a high-level reevaluation of deeply held beliefs and how you perceive the world around you becomes inevitable.
In terms of your question and what you are seeing, I believe these trends represent a larger collective awakening. Not a miracle, but something borne out of necessity: for anyone brave enough to take their head out of the sand for thirty seconds, environmental concerns alone are completely fucking overwhelming, and obviously that’s just a start.
I do take solace in this development, though. Somehow, even without actively studying philosophy, teens today (and even younger!) appear to have, to a degree, an intuitive understanding of these concepts. That’s wild! When I was in high school in the late 90s, genuinely thinking for yourself wasn’t tolerated the way it is today. Sure, there were punks and goths and whatever, but for anyone who dared to question the paradox of asserting one’s uniqueness through group affiliation, the road was much bumpier than it seems to be today.
I actually had to remind one of my children at around 10 years of age that she should be careful telling her peers things like “god isn’t real and nothing really matters” … admittedly she was raised in a “we always respect people with different beliefs even if we find it difficult to respect their beliefs” home, so the “god isn’t real” part wasn’t a surprise, but she found existentialism on her own.
Consider the complexity of the humour in memes today - I think a lot of older folks dismiss it as vapid and banal, and while some definitely lands there, the baseline tends to include a lot more irony, sarcasm, and even elements of these more abstract philosophical ideas in ways that older generations tend to struggle with. At first glance it appears completely nonsensical, but upon superficial understanding it quickly becomes “antisocial” and offensive: how dare you find camaraderie in joking about suicide, and do you really think the collapse of civilization would be a good thing? This is more than gallows humour.
And perhaps your comment was more flippant than my initial interpretation and this will just come across as obtuse and condescending - I hope not, as that is definitely not my intent. If it was sincere and you are just beginning down this path, I hope my perspective makes a difference for you. I suspect it is obvious, but my own experience with this was not pleasant; it took me many years to find my way through and feel ok about continuing, in the broadest sense. With a bit of discipline and thoughtfulness, I think you should be able to mitigate the psychological risks inherent in exploring some of the more fundamentally challenging implications of nihilism.
I’d have to say I’m doing alright myself. I don’t make a lot of money. I’m not happy with politics and other things in the world but I’m thankful for what I have and that I am okay. I actively work to make my life better in whatever ways I can. I’ve met tons of people who don’t and are unhappy.
I think people are unhappy are more likely to say something in response to something like the Elmo tweet rather than say “I’m doing great/good/alright.”
Many people don’t feel in control of their futures. In general, people in the “global South” have way fewer opportunities to start with. It doesn’t matter how hard you work if you live in a dictatorship. Or if you never had a good breakfast before math in primary school. Of if half of your waking hours are spent commuting in dilapidated busses packed with people.
These are in reality the hardest working people; every waking hour can be challenge if you are poor.
I am legitimately trying to figure out why the fuck it is I am seemingly the only person in the world who is okay right now.
This is how I felt in 2020-most of 2022, while everyone seemed to have their worlds crumbling around them I felt wonderful. Then my best friend lost his battle with alcoholism and depression, and things have not gotten better, it has been just one kick in the nuts after the next. But I am persisting.
Tbh I just want to work a job that can pay the bills and support a potential retirement. For so many of us this is all we want. We are willing to work, just not to some abhorrent degree or in wholly unreasonable, inhumane conditions. Many of us aren’t asking to become filthy rich, just rich enough that things like bills and a scraped knee don’t extend our retirement age another 20 years.
i like how it’s some fucking revolation. Like, just look around. poke around on the internet for 10 min. Large, HUGE amounts of people have not been ok for a long time. What’s sad is everyone has their fucking heads too buried in their phones and ipads to notice.
The only reason I’ve not killed myself is cos I’ve been failing for 20yrs to do it. Don’t expecyt me to enjoy this fucked up existence just because I have no fucking choice but to live in it.
Step away from the news cycle, friend. Stick to topics that bring you joy, be it space, guitars, whatever. Three weeks of that, and your outlook will be better. Also, cut your social media consumption down to one, maybe two days per week.
I’m not saying that’s all you need to do. I know mental health is a very complicated subject! I myself suffer from anxiety. But I did the above, and it’s made a difference.
I don’t think this advice actually works well for everyone. Receding more into isolation is just as exhausting and depressing to some as being aware but part of the mess.
I honestly think people just want to feel productive and see strives for making things better. Stuff that is hard to do personally and unfortunately not very present in society at large.
Ignorance is bliss only if you start and stay ignorant. You can’t put the horrors of the world back in the box once the lid is opened.
I know you mean well but I personally see how this can feel very surface level and not be super helpful even though I don’t personally know what advice is. It’s kinda hard for a singular person to truly understand another. We try and that’s good though, it’s what really makes us human. Hope we get more of that.
Thanks for your insight, and I of course agree with you.
I guess my advice is incomplete. More isolation sucks for many for sure, yes. Something that I have also done is change communities for a while. Or at least turn off those individuals that aren’t nothing but doom and gloom and “debbie downers.” Plus trying to remember that social media life is not real life can help a little. If you see a friend on a yatch, what you don’t see if the times that friend has a pretty much boring life, or even hitting rock bottom.
Here’s an extreme, but I know people who have amazing instagram photos, and they’re dealing with drugs, alcohol and an abusive partner, for instance - yeah, I’d rather have my “boring life.” But I digress.
Mental health is a complicated matter, and I hope OP is reading this thread. Ultimately, what matters is that OP reaches out to someone, preferably a professional, and share their struggles.
I haven’t because I know how it would make my parents feel. But I’ve slowly been more and more isolated since my sister had kids and our parents seem to prioritize them over me these days. So I know feel more and more that I’m the burden keeping them on this side of the country rather than moving to be closer to my sister and her family. Might as well make the choice easier for them.
Yeah. I fucked up an attempt so bad that actually it made me make an agreement to never try again.
I get it. It sucks cause you know that there is an option for it to be over but when you take it… Well everything is over and it’s as awful as you left it. I hold out on the sliver of hope that it’s gonna get better, cause nothing stays the same for long. It will change and then you can revaluate again.
Death can be pretty final. And the last thing you experiencing being pain and sadness is not a good way to go. Don’t expect to enjoy every moment of life though. That’s a dream that doesn’t exist. But try to enjoy what you can and live knowing the other side is for later.
I think that “heads buried” comment may just be the newest “kids these days”. It was always complaints going back to television, then radio, even as far back as carrying newspapers on the morning trolley.
I know it often seems like people just aren’t engaged - but it’s usually how they engage, for better or worse.
I live in Iowa but work remotely for a company in Minnesota - we got like 2 feet more snow than Minnesota did with the blizzard a few weeks back. The climate has been so crazy these last few months
Same here. The mountain I frequent just put in a high speed lift, went operational Dec 24. After Christmas they got rain for at least a couple of days during break and I didn’t even try skiing then.
My kids went sledding one day last season and one day so far this season. The ground barely freezes so the mice and ticks will be in force come spring.
I’m in New England so further south but I do remember the times we had snowy Christmases and could skate on the ponds. Hopefully my kids might be able to experience that but I have my doubts, I doubt I will ever see that again.
I remember when I had to stuff a snowsuit beneath my Halloween costume. I only ever once saw a green Christmas in childhood, and now I don’t know the last time I saw a white one. This year we’ve had like a day of very mild snowfall and one fairly cold week, and it’s just pure mud out there and hovering around 3C. It isn’t good at all.
My kids cannot do anything about it either, yet. I will teach them the best I can. Maybe they will want to get into politics and fix the mess, or just do the best they can. Use green solutions like bikes and public transport, recycle, etc.
You’re not okay, you lack empathy. Me as well, I have nothing to complain about, and I am able to enjoy life despite all the shit that’s wrong in the world, but I can read the room and don’t feel the need to rub that in people’s faces when clearly a lot of people are struggling. Also, I am sad for those people and frustrated that voting isn’t enough, while doing “enough” would mean giving up a large part of my comfortable life, not because that’s what it would take, but because too many people are doing jack shit to improve the world, or rather actively contributing to the clusterfuck that the world is in.
A lot of people are always struggling. Even in this thread you’ll see some people complaining about exisistential dangers and other people complaining about Netflix and Microsoft windows.
There have always been wars, sickness, hunger and suffering. We are probably near the minimum of all of those in this century. On a historical scale, a working poor today lives better than a king a thousand years ago, at least in most European countries. You have guaranteed shelter, high quality safe food, clean water, modern healthcare and all the knowledge of humanity in the palm of your hand (besides access to unlimited free education).
I vote my conscience, I pay my taxes (almost 40% of my income) and I even donate to local charities on top of that, but I refuse to let other people’s problems ruin my day every day.
It’s not lacking empathy, it’s setting limits and taking care of my own mental health.
it’s not about “letting other people’s problems ruin your day”, it’s about being content with your life without going on some online forum and announcing unasked in a thread about the growing existential problems of a large part of the world’s population that you’re doing great. Bless your heart, but that doesn’t help the people who are NOT doing great. That is what this thread is about, and that is my point.
You don’t know what helps or doesn’t help other people, speak for yourself. Nor do you decide what the thread is or isn’t about. Feel free to Downvote and move along if you don’t like it.
yeah. this may be a little better or worse depending on where you are in the planet but its grim.
i’m either wasting away at work all day every day because now bosses act like they own you too much and don’t owe you for what you do so i have no time to live, or i’m a depressed and unemployed wasting away because i have no money to live.
not being able to afford anything for a seemingly infinite amount of meaningless work where you are not respected. that feeling we are just deluxe slaves working though the apocalypse. your worth is calculated based on how good of a slave you are.
capitalism enshitifying not only tech, but just about everything is getting ever more crappy expensive and disposable. we are on this hamster wheel where we need those expensive gadgets and a shitty app for everything, but they are expected to break soon so you need to pay for another and another and so on while contributing to the end of the planet because of it.
the fact we are products/cattle being monetized in all sorts of unhealthy ways and watched 24/7 by our own appliances. they use advanced psychology to control and make us submissive. dont you dare actually trying to improve things or we will use our vast surveillance network to strike you the fuck down.
culture of everyone being hyper individualistic, alienated and self centered (possibly including myself here) contrary to our nature. everyone has less and less friends, everyone is alone and we hate on eachother because of distractions.
…and the internet is now a dopamine trap instead of the beautiful place for connection and knowledge it used to be, but somehow everyone is way more dependent on it for socialization. corporations mediate our relationships and making us alone depressed and angry is more beneficial for them.
capital is literally destroying the planet, poisoning the air we breathe, turning it into an oven, killing massive amounts of life just so a handful of sociopathic people can be god-level powerful over us.
and the sheer amount of death being brought upon us by them for trivial reasons, like a convoluted way someone can have more shitty pieces of paper by murdering people everywhere around the planet.
we cant afford to start families or even be completely financially independent. life is an eternal struggle for meaningless pieces of paper (more like stupid numbers on a shitty bank computer now) and they are always finding new ways to oppress us financially and making us pay more for basic, low tech and low cost necessities that werent a problem for past generations to have.
we know we have no future, no love and no hope. we know we will starve or suffocate to death, but are being played on by the system to turn on eachother instead. the future is looking more and more like apocalypse-techno-dystopia. if it isnt that already.
and nothing we can immediatly do about any of it. people act like i am batshit insane for wanting to throw this shit away and have a revolution to remove our current kings. people immediatly try to excuse them even though their life garbage because our fear of change is probably being weaponized against us, like seemingly every single human instinct. hell, it seems some people dont even want to admit to themselves they are suffering because that would make them lazy leeches or something.
do i even need to keep going? you can tell i woke up on the wrong fucking foot today cant you?
Fuckin amen! I often think of what I could be doing with my life if I was financially independent. It just feels like so much of my time is just wasted at being at my job. It’s fuckin depressing…
As someone who has kids who are now just becoming “adults,” “that funny feeling” just keeps getting worse. I worry they’ll never be able to afford houses or families of their own and with the constant rising costs, we won’t have anything to even leave them. I wish I could bury my head in the sand and think everything will be just fine, but I can’t anymore.
All I can say is you’re not alone and I really wish I could give you a hug right now, friend. :(
I got this favorite literary passage for you though. I think we all ought to hear it a bit more often:
Frodo: I can’t do this, Sam…
Sam: I know! It’s all wrong! By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding on to, Sam?
Sam : That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.
Let’s remember this was written by a fellow who survived the hellish trenches of WW1. A conflict that felt ridiculously pointless for all the bloodshed it caused.
Here we are in our own figurative trenches. We are weathering our own crisis after crisis, wondering if it’s all worth it in the end. “But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow.”
We can’t give up and give in to despair, because friends, family, people we don’t even know, need us to all keep each other going. Our time will come. Don’t give up on exposing this nonsense in the most loving way you can, showing people alternatives, and building the resistance to State and corporate tyranny. One changed mind at a time.
Its ok she will fix it, its just going to be 4 shitty repairs instead of one good one, besides my parents are on the lease and they don’t want to raise a fuss. Thanks for your advice.
Small comfort, but the thing with Fascism is that it is a cult of power. Nobody is safe, anyone can be targeted, including those who support it most fervently. Anyone with half a brain knows that under fascism they’re one week and whim from being the next target, so know that you aren’t alone.
It’s certainly frustrating to watch people who would definitely end up in camps supporting the fascist take-over of their country. But they think they’re special and unique and the face-eating leopard won’t eat their face.
It’s not just people on social media though. Everyone is having a hard time.
We work too long for meaningless jobs; we don’t get time for hobbies, ourselves, or with our families; we can’t afford housing or groceries; we’re either stuck in traffic or on the way to being stuck in traffic; all our information is being sold to companies so that they can force more ads into our faces…
Life sucks right now for everyone because that’s just how the people in charge want it to be for us.
I’ve been working harder at work for a promotion. I’m not going to get it. I fucking hate work, it’s not particularly hard, it’s just unfulfilling and boring. I dread work every day. I would go somewhere else but hate interviewing because even for 1 job it’s at least 4 interviews and tests. I can’t afford to take a cheaper job. I took today off though so that’s nice.
You are going to suffer every day just to avoid 4 interviews?
I interview for a new job every now and then, like twice a year, even tho I don’t hate my job.
It’s a fun process that can only go well (worst case, everything stays the same) and you practice your interview skills. And you get a first hand peek into the job market to help you negociate your current job conditions. And you get to know new people, companies, processes and technologies.
If you’ve been working hard at work to get a promo, it’s probably time to get that promo, but externally. You’ll probabaly get better pay that way too.
When putting together your resume, remeber to use the xyz format for your job successes “achieved x, doing y, with z results”. This helps provide hiring managers and recruiters an idea of your performance and what type of results you can likely deliver for their team.
climate change, I live in BC and summers are literally apocalyptic, ash raining from the sky and can’t even see the sun
loss of biodiversity which is plainly obvious with every passing year. Recently drove to Alaska without having to clean bugs off windshield
clearcut forest no matter where you look
never getting my own house despite “doing everything right” and well above average income
one bag of groceries is like $100
never having kids or a family, obvious reasons
no real friends since I graduated college, social media ruined everything
friends I had are priced out and are thousands of km away, or dead
housing so fucked that I have spent the last five years looking for a rental that allows a cat and still looking, I feel like if I just had a cat I would be so much happier
aging population and constantly going to funerals
various addictions I’ve lost control over since pandemic
cost of travel increasing exponentially so that’s coming to an abrupt end too
impossible to go outside without reminder of total societal collapse, teslas cruising around on streets full of homeless people
haven’t seen a doctor in years because there are none
have to go to work in 10 minutes but didn’t get a wink of sleep last night or the night before it, this is probably the main reason this comment was so whiny
Hey if you ever end up getting a place that allows cats, please get two. When you are away at work they can socialize with each other. I’m not saying having only one cat is animal abuse or anything, it’s just better to have two.
It’s a great exercise on mindfulness which is incredibly important at least for my brain. Rather than trying to hike the longest distance sometimes it’s better to sit completely still for an extended period of time and allow the birds to get used to your presence. It’s quite humbling when the patience pays off.
I’m definitely not doing okay considering I’ve got an appointment at the Mayo Clinic in March… but hey, the end of this month will be my six month anniversary of not eating any solid food. So hooray!
I’m glad you got an appointment! I’ve been passively following your story through your comments and I’m rooting for you. I really hope you find answers soon!
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