I'm going to demystify Black hair for those who don't understand. Hair is hair. The amount of curl is the only difference. Straight hair is oily because natural scalp oil can slide down it. Curly hair is dry because the scalp oil gets trapped in the curl.
@StillIRise1963 excellent evolutionary move to help keep the head cool:
'The researchers found that all hair reduced solar radiation to the scalp, but tightly curled hair provided the best protection from the sun’s radiative heat while minimizing the need to sweat to stay cool. '
This thread immediately transported me back to a kitchen in Houston’s South Park neighborhood. I can smell the burning oil/grease and stained towels. I can hear the metal clink of the comb going in & out of the fire.
My Granny would take me to a woman who was “hard of hearing” to get my hair hot-combed when I was between 8-10 years old.
I hated it w/a passion! Good lord, did I hate going. The lady could never hear my yelps & cries when she burned me. 😩
@etebur 😂 I can picture all of it! I can smell it. I hated it too, but the results were always worth it. I'd be swinging my head all over the place, my mom telling me I was going to break my neck if I wasn't careful.🤣
@StillIRise1963 ooo, okay, that actually helps me understand my hair too! I have natural blonde curls, but when I used to try to wear my hair straight, it would start looking so oily or greasy within a day or so. But now that I wear my natural curls, it does look much more dry day-to-day and I just need to condition rather than shampoo regularly. 😯
@StillIRise1963 Yep, that's what my hair stylist said. And she's right. Just good old water makes my hair curl. Ocean water makes it curl the best. 😅 Styling products just lock my curl in place until next wash day.
@iamspialelo I want to wash and go, but it takes my hair a good 24 hours to dry naturally. This is why working out and sweating my ass off confuses me.
@StillIRise1963 I wear a wash and go because I work out. 😅 But I don't air dry. I have too much hair on my head to air dry. I sit under the hooded dryer for about 30-35 minutes to dry the outside and then follow up with my blow dryer with diffuser attachment to get the rest of the hair.
@iamspialelo I can't sit under a dryer. I have childhood dryer trauma! I can still see the face of the lady who made my ears burn while I was crying under the dryer as a little girl. It wasn't once, it was every damn time. When I could control my own stuff, dryers were out. My blow dryer with a diffuser takes 2.5 hours.
@StillIRise1963 I remember those time very well. Every time 45 minutes to an hour came, I would say it's done. Lady touches my hair, "No it's still damp" and proceeds to set it for another hour. Our poor scalps, face, ears. Did you know there are ear covers? Where were they when we were little? 😭
@iamspialelo Exactly! After a few times of saying I was done, I'd be afraid to say it again and I'd just try hard not to cry. And, no, I didn't know there were ear covers! But, it's too late for me now.😔 No dryers ever!🤣
My cousin is of Mayan descent through adoption. Her hair is nuts, curls for days. Breaks my heart watching her straighten it but the amount of work curls takes almost (99%) nullifies the envy. Mine is mostly straight but super fine so it just goes into one big hat style dreadlock if I don't condition and brush it everyday. Boring and annoying! 🙈
@FinalOverdrive Yep. People write blogs/articles about which product is good for which number hair you have, but I'm not personally aware of any brand that does that.
@StillIRise1963 Is there some chemical compound out there that can straighten hair without causing burns or cancer? Maybe. But we sure as hell haven't found it yet.
@StillIRise1963 Well I do. And I hope to be as much of a stubborn ass about it as Greta Thunberg is about climate. I think that's a role autistics of any color have to play; as the stubborn, annoying swarm of gnats in the world's ear that will never ever shut up about the injustices of the world, demanding their redress.
It shouldn't be this way. As it was in DuBois's day, as it was in King's day, as it is today...the problem of the color line is the central social problem.
@funcrunch I hear you. But, it depends on the length. My hair is long, so it's a little bit of a pain. It's the drying part. My sister's is super short. She has no issues at all.
@funcrunch I chopped off my relaxed hair, but I've grown my natural hair out mostly because I wanted to see what it looked like. I'm not quite done yet. When I've had enough, I'll chop again.
@StillIRise1963
I'm a 2C to 3A ringlets naturally depending on weather, but my hair will do everything below it too with a bit of effort.
Also have used Black hair care products for my curls since forever. My current fave are Taliah Waajid products. Hair stays soft!
@StillIRise1963 I'm the only one on my mom's side of the family with this type of hair. I still remember watching them press their hair every week. Or relaxing it. Or getting a Jheri Curl or weave. Or wearing a wig. My dad was Native/Irish and Black,and he had wavy hair. I used to straighten my hair with a flat iron and blow dryer instead of a relaxer. It would last 2 days in the beach weather in LA.
@IveyJanette The memories! I remember getting my hair pressed in the kitchen. My forehead and my ears had scars for years! I can still smell the hair smoking with the oil too. Did you have any feelings about not participating in all that? Good, bad or indifferent?
@StillIRise1963 My grandma would press my hair when I was in kindergarten until she and mom got into it,and mom told her that I had "good hair",and she was ruining it. My hair was very long,which also caused problems. Mom wouldn't let me cut or color it. I finally dyed it pink at age 18. Got the chop the next year. That smell of the grease and the iron was awful. Glad I chose not to participate.
@IveyJanette It was awful, and it smelled awful, though I think of it fondly in some ways which is seriously fucked up on my part. I cut all mine off and died it hot pink too on my 21st bday. 🤣
@StillIRise1963 It smelled gross. And mom would put that gross ass shaving powder on the hairline near her neckline. Her hair barely grew,and she would use every vitamin or treatment to make it grow. She would always try to put a curly perm on my hair. She didn't realize I had natural curls until I chopped it off in the 80's. I had it pink,blue, platinum blonde and purple for years. Now I have it burgundy at age 61.
@StillIRise1963 Sadly. I had to straighten my hair for years when I lived in LA because my curls were "unprofessional". I also had to tone down my hair color for the same reason. Threw away the flat iron and the blow dryer 15 years ago. Too bad the corporate/workplace landscape refuses to recognize diversity in hairstyles,textures and makeup skin tones. Even some Black and Latino businesses adhere to this.
@IveyJanette@StillIRise1963 sisterlocked for a decade chiming in! Always wore box braids in the summer, have always worked in corporate. It’s gotten better. That hot comb is traumatizing.
My grandmother couldn’t deal with the thickness of my hair and started relaxing me at 6. I have 4 textures (mixed kids, am I right?). Only stopped relaxing when I got pregnant with my eldest.
@DaNanner Glad you got to look the way you wanted! And, back in the day, for me, hot combs were just normal. The object of the game was straight hair, no matter the pain involved. Consciousness was very different. The whole thing is sad and appalling. @IveyJanette
@StillIRise1963@IveyJanette not so much about looking the way I wanted as … “I don’t even know how to deal with my hair when it doesn’t have chemicals and short is not a good look on me” — braids were an easy out 😂
@StillIRise1963@IveyJanette and TBH - probably the main reason I opted for sisterlocks. Not to mention my hair can get wet and sweaty now and not send me into an absolute panic!
@StillIRise1963@DaNanner I used to wear my hair in a greasy curly ponytail in high school. Occasionally I would wear a huge Afro. Once I turned 18, I styled it any way I wanted. I did the flat iron/blow dryer straightening in the 90's and 2000's because it was popular; and also because I wanted to keep my job. I didn't want to wear a weave or a wig like my mom,aunt and grandma. Curls are much easier to maintain.
@CStamp@StillIRise1963@DaNanner My cousins sometimes would flatten their hair with an actual iron,then put the curlers in. It was that or the ol' press and curl in the kitchen.
@DaNanner@CStamp@StillIRise1963 Grandma and mom would put blue hair grease on my hair. Especially on the ends. Same stuff they used to press their hair. My hair would feel hard as a rock.
@IveyJanette@CStamp@StillIRise1963 wait, was it the one in the red container? If I saw that come out I knew I was going to end the day with burned ears and the smell of burnt hair 😭😭😭
@DaNanner@CStamp@StillIRise1963 Royal Crown! Ultra Sheen had was blue grease. They used both. My brother and I would cringe when we would see mom pressing her hair in the kitchen.
@DaNanner@CStamp@StillIRise1963 It was always an adventure watching mom and grandma sitting in the kitchen with the pressing comb,the grease and the towels.
@DaNanner@StillIRise1963@IveyJanette Yep. We lived in northern Quebec at the time, on a base in the middle of nowhere, so I guess that's what she and her friends came up with. It's too bad they didn't just think about changing shampoos.
@DaNanner@StillIRise1963 My grandma had no idea how to style my hair,so she put the hot comb on my hair at age 4. My mom didn't. But mom tried a relaxer on my hair when I was in high school. It didn't work,my hair fell out. Ditto the curly perm,she still thought my hair was "nappy" and not curly and wavy. They all did.
@IveyJanette@StillIRise1963 i am so sorry. My mom is 50/50 Black and white and grew up going to the salon weekly for a press because my maternal grandmother couldn’t braid. (Paternal grandmother did the relaxer. Perm burn scars and that smell still affect me).
My mom learned to do cornrows at least so that was my regular hairstyle for school. Except for when my dad resorted to afro-puffs 😂
@IveyJanette@StillIRise1963 it wasn’t my texture so much as VOLUME. Even now my loctitian calls me one of her “big heads” and sets aside 4 hours for a re-ti (and she’s FAST). Getting braids was always an all-day affair. Every 8 weeks.
@DaNanner@StillIRise1963 I thought about doing the Janet Jackson braids a few years ago. Until I realized it was going to be very expensive. Well over $200. Including additional hair,even though my natural hair was already shoulder length.
@StillIRise1963@IveyJanette it can get spendy, but it’s a Black woman’s cottage industry (unless your cousin or dad’s GF is using you for practice 😂) and I am/was paying someone for something I don’t have the time or flexibility (shoulder pain) to do myself without ripping out my hair.
Gladly support that! YMMV - definitely cheaper than a cut (if you can find someone who knows what they are doing) and color.
@DaNanner@StillIRise1963 There were Black beauty salons that refused to my hair because it was "too curly" or even "too white". Or because it was too long. I took my money elsewhere. We don't have many Black salons in Albuquerque,so it's usually a white or Latina salon; do it at home; or fly back home to LA and pay $150 for a damn cut. I do the color myself.
@IveyJanette When we moved to places with no Black people, I learned to do my own hair - be it relaxing, a cut, whatever. When we returned to a place with some Black folk, I was not spending my whole Saturday in a salon because people don't know how to stagger appointments the right way. I don' want to eat lunch, I want to go home. shit. So, I just kept doing it myself. I still do. I cut my hair last weekend. @DaNanner
@StillIRise1963@IveyJanette after living in OR for a decade I learned to do my own hair for relaxing and color. No sense in paying someone to straighten my hair to cut it into something that would not stay. Or burn me as bad as my grandmother and aunt did. Those were some rough looking years :ablobcatcry:
@DaNanner I once got a gift of an appointment at a very famous, luxurious hair/spa in NYC. They asked me where I got my hair relaxed because whoever did it did. such a good job and my hair was so healthy. 🙄 I've never been to a salon again. @IveyJanette
@StillIRise1963@DaNanner I went with my mom to a salon in Inglewood once when she went for a weave. When mom suggested to the stylist to do my hair,the first thing the stylist did was break out the old school pressing tools. Even though mom kept telling her that my hair was curly,and it just needed a trim. Bitch refused to cut it. Told me to go "to the Mexican salon" down the street,she didn't do "multiracial hair". We walked out.
@IveyJanette That's crazy shit. If you're selling something and look at me funny in any fucking way, I'm leaving. I don't need what you have, and if I want it bad enough, I'll get it elsewhere. @DaNanner
@StillIRise1963@DaNanner Colorism was definitely going on. Still going on. I've had several Black salons turn me away because of that racist attitude. Fine. The white or Latina salon will get my business. Supercuts will get my business. It's not my fault that my skin is fair and my hair isn't nappy enough for your taste. Not all sisters/hermanas have nappy hair nor dark skin.
@StillIRise1963@DaNanner Same here. Even when I still lived in LA,I would go to the salon in the mall I worked at instead of the Black salons on Crenshaw or in Inglewood like my mom did. I ain't got time for hearing dumb gossip and sitting around all damn day with my hair in a dryer. I went to the local beauty academy here in ABQ for cuts until the pandemic. Now I go to Ulta every 3 months for a cut.
@StillIRise1963@IveyJanette@DaNanner Even though I'm an old white guy, I hear you. I started cutting my own hair 25 years ago. I remember when a haircut was 2 bucks. I save $15 plus tip today. I don't have to go anywhere, talk to anybody, mingle, congregate, share viruses, listen to Fox News, or pretend that I'm a Trump supporter.
@shuttersparks Yep. I have a thing about being self-sufficient. I never liked dealing with people's bullshit. I'm great at doing fingernails, tiling, painting walls, laying floors, changing light fixtures, whatever. If I can do it myself, learn how to do it, I will. @IveyJanette@DaNanner
@StillIRise1963@shuttersparks@DaNanner My mom was like that. Always did DIY stuff at home. Even fixing the car. I used to do a lot of cleaning stuff in my apartment until I got sick and had to have surgery. And after my brother moved in with me,I just don't have the energy to do it.
@StillIRise1963@shuttersparks@DaNanner I have lupus,so that definitely saps energy. And I was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year,so I'm still trying to deal with that. I had a heart attack in 2020,a hysterectomy the year before,and went to the hospital multiple times last year for dehydration. It's a struggle,but I'm still here.
@StillIRise1963@IveyJanette@DaNanner That too! My mom (old school German) drilled that into me. And my grandmother. Cooking and sewing were required. She felt that you had to know those basics to qualify as a human being, male or female. Some might view that as kind of harsh, but that's how she and her mother were. I'm glad they were.
Retired engineer now a chef for ten years. And I love sewing. Go figure.
@shuttersparks@StillIRise1963@DaNanner I should have paid more attention to what mom was doing with the DIY. Plus when she and grandma were cooking. When they passed, I struggled for a while. Ultimately learned it on my own.
@shuttersparks 🤣 Yep! I took a Singer sewing class when I was 12. I used to make my own clothes as a teen. I can also do any type of yarn work from needlepoint to knitting, crocheting, rug hooking, macrame, whatever. And, I learned how to cook and made dinner for my parents/sister beginning at 14 most week days and on the weekends. It was fun.@IveyJanette@DaNanner
@StillIRise1963@shuttersparks@DaNanner I learned to crochet when I was 9,used to make clothes for my Barbies and hats and afghans. I took home ec in junior high before I got kicked out for fighting. Didn't really learn how to cook until I started working in restaurants. And after mom passed. I learned mostly from watching the Food Network and PBS.
@StillIRise1963@IveyJanette@DaNanner Hah, yep. Crochet was the first thing she taught me in terms of "fiber arts". It's probably good training for a little kid, eye-to-hand, etc. Sure didn't hurt me. Then hand-stitching, starting with buttons, then hems, etc. By the time we got to the sewing machine I was excited to learn it. It was an old Singer. Then around 1964 she bought a new machine that could do zigzag and some fancy decorative stitches. I liked sewing but it was something I never told my schoolmates about.
@shuttersparks@StillIRise1963@DaNanner My mom always sewed. So did my aunt. But it just wasn't interesting to me. I learned to crochet when mom put me in an after school charm club . I'm more into drawing,painting and writing though. And taught myself how to play several instruments after I turned 40.
@shuttersparks I think it's very cool you're now using these skills after doing something very different. And, yeah. Kids were harsh. We had rigid gender roles. @IveyJanette@DaNanner
@StillIRise1963@shuttersparks@DaNanner We did. We were expected to be wives and mothers and not be in the workforce. And not much else. My mom was mostly a single parent and had to work,so I learned by example. I couldn't do the music back then because those rules kept women from playing horns,drums and guitars.
@StillIRise1963@kv@shuttersparks@DaNanner I spend more time here than on any of the other sites(X, Threads,Post, Spoutible and Counter Social). I don't have to deal with racist and sexist trolls as much. And no algorithms or ads. And I can crack jokes and (mostly) use language that won't get me censored.
@IveyJanette This platform makes the most sense to me. I'm never going to be on a privately owned platform again. And, the algorithms are brainwashing. I'm staying away. @kv@shuttersparks@DaNanner
@StillIRise1963@kv@shuttersparks@DaNanner I'm hooked on vanlife and Bushcraft camping videos. Livestreams of trains and jazz club concerts and jam sessions. And of course,acne and cyst extraction videos. I'm really hooked on those,I'll yell "GET THE SAC!" even if there's no sac. Those put me to sleep.
@StillIRise1963@IveyJanette@shuttersparks@DaNanner sometimes ignorance is a bliss. The human body is weird and weird stuff can happen to it. Spontaneously even! Don't need to be thinking about that stuff when I'm trying to sleep.
My youngest works at a vet and thinks dinner conversation should absolutely involve pet surgery tales (also, some humans are horrible and should not be allowed to own another living creature, but that’s a rant for another time).
@StillIRise1963@DaNanner@kv@shuttersparks I've had numerous cysts on my back and face over the years. They hurt like hell. I still remember mom lancing them open with a hot needle and squeezing that goo out. At least the doctor gives you lidocaine to numb the cyst. After taking biology and microbiology in college,it's interesting,though gross.
@DaNanner@StillIRise1963@kv@shuttersparks Before bedtime always works for me. Especially when the doctor or aesthetician calmly explains the procedure to the patient and the audience.
@IveyJanette@StillIRise1963@shuttersparks@DaNanner same, I think it's largely because birdsite, threads, etc is just folks talking at you, but here you get to exchange dialogue and meet good people. I'm also glad that this is a safer space. Feels like a sane corner of the internet.
@kv@StillIRise1963@shuttersparks@DaNanner Yes. I've already met great people here. Some came from the bird site. It's international and multicultural. And many different interests. No one trying to be an influencer.
@StillIRise1963@kv@shuttersparks@DaNanner On the bird site,my profile says I'm a "social media influencer" because of having a lot of followers beyond Albuquerque,Los Angeles and San Francisco. Plus my zingers. I'm not trying to get a brand deal or commercials.
@StillIRise1963@kv@shuttersparks@DaNanner And I still have just under 3000 followers on the bird site. I can riff on politics or culture without hearing it from some idiot.
@shuttersparks@StillIRise1963@DaNanner I ain't got time to hear about who's cheating with who at church who's gay, who's going to the club etc. And I definitely ain't interested in watching the Real Housewives or Love and Hip Hop or any of that other ratchet crap. Just do my hair. I have a life. I don't go to church anymore because of the bullshit. And I sure as hell don't want to hear anything about Trump.
@IveyJanette I had the space to do it when I worked for an educational nonprofit that worked with kids of color. It would have been a problem in the things I did before. It's been 10 years now for me. I'm sad I won't have more time with myself. And, yeah about the workplace. There are laws now where I am, protecting people against hair discrimination in the workplace, but you know how that goes. Colorism is real.
@StillIRise1963 The CROWN Act isn't in every state. And sadly,it's not going to be enforced. Here in NM,it passed early this year,but given the discrimination towards Native American and Black people here,I highly doubt it'll make a difference. I went back to the curls in 2009 and grew my hair out. I've had to deal with colorism my entire life. Including in my own family. I've lost jobs and relationships because of it.
@IveyJanette@StillIRise1963
Where I work it has changed a little. In the dept I work in they still get on us about nail color. It used to be unnatural hair color, tattoos, & facial hair for men. We still can't have pink, purple, etc haircolors. That has nothing to do with work ethic. When I started there they used to check our nails, uniforms, etc. Tattoos had to be covered. Now it's changed on that.
@StillIRise1963 omg, i used to be scared to death whenever my grandma would bring me into her kitchen to press my hair the afternoon before sunday school. i felt grown, but at the same time i'd always worry she'd burn me at one point...thankfully, she never did. 😮💨
@IDIC I think most people have a mix, have patches of different types of hair. The sides of my hair, by my ears, have the smallest curls on my head. The rest are fairly similar.
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