Thought for the day: Air Fryers are obviously the next instar (larval stage) of the venerable Instant Pot. They seem to have hatched from the 1980s Food Processor and they're on an ontological road to somewhere ... so what do they mature into next? Microwave ovens? Or something new and terrifying?
Clearly the final reproductive form of the air fryer will be a 3D meat printer that runs off pink slime (or tofu, if you insist). You can also run it off human cells from an in vitro culture medium. It has various adjuncts to control texture, flavour, crispiness/sliminess/mouth feel, etc. and can print different types of "meat" in concentric layers, so instant turducken. Can print novelty foods, eg. cthulhuducken (seafood), meat loaves with fake human babies embedded in them, fuckpig heads.
@GinevraCat In "Rule 34" I mentioned a dining club, the Ladies Who Lunch, who specialized in eating each other's tissue cultures—long pork without the homicide. And a very perplexed detective trying to work out what (if anything) to charge them with (cannibalism not being a criminal offense under Scottish law at the time I was writing: I think they tried using "outraging public decency" until it was pointed out that it was a private clib ...)
@cstross@GinevraCat When cloning technology gets good enough, I expect there will be problems with DNA paparazzi collecting cells from popular people. Obsessed fans could raise cloned children, or create children with cloned gametes. At least the cannibalism would be over with quickly!
@cstross for some reason I am reminded of a feast that happened in the late Iain Banks' novella “The State of the Art", where the crew feasted upon meat grown from the cells of Earth's most infamous leaders (set in 1978). A system like you describe, where a few sample cells can be used as base stock, is definitely something that would be abused by wannabe cannibals. Or by criminals looking to generate lots of red herring DNA. And so on.
@cstross I'm more optimistic for a genetically engineered chicken breast that just has a small bag of organs to sustain it while it grows in a vat. I mean, it could be a chicken breast, or any other tasty muscle. A 3D meat printer might be OK for making chicken nuggets or hamburger — or kefta, but I don't think it could get the texture for thanksgiving turkey or steak or prime rib right. Or butter chicken or… Now I'm getting hungry!
@stevendbrewer Or just a chicken with no more brain than is needed to keep it breathing. (I once dated a farmer's daughter. They kept a hutch of free-range turkeys. Apparently whenever it rained heavily someone had to go outdoors and herd them inside so they wouldn't drown by accident: they didn't have the brain cells to get out of the rain on their own ...)
@stevendbrewer Colour and texture! (Ground-up bone meal in bleached slime can be edible bones; sligthtly gritty but won't stick in your teeth or tear your oesophagus if you swallow it.)
@cstross in the wet-blanket department, air fryers are literally just convection ovens. They needed a new name to explain how you can use them instead of what they do.
@cstross Nah, air fryers are an offshoot of convection ovens that evolved with limited resources, so they are small enough to fit on a kitchen counter.
@henstridge 3D meat printer, runs off pink slime or tofu if you prefer, has various adjuncts to control texture, flavour, crispiness/sliminess/mouth feel, and so on. Can print different types of "meat" in concentric layers, so instant turducken. Can also print novelty foods, eg. cthulhuducken (seafood), meat loaves with fake human babies embedded in them, etc ...
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